Hoodrat Heroes

Infamous No-Tip Brockton Ratchet Returns To Brockton Hub: Admits She Is An American Idol Flunky But It’s Not Her Fault Because Her Mom Says It Was A Scam

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I think it might be “Reunion Week” here on Turtleboy Sports. Maybe it was the New Year’s Top 100 posts that stirred the pot but some of our most infamous subjects are resurfacing and are just as dumpy as ever.

You probably remember this thing:

Ratchet Brockton Trap Queen Says She Never Tips At Restaurants Because She Didn’t Ask For A Waiter, Dumpster Fire Ensues

Maybe she’s got another single, which sounds comparable to the guttural scream someone makes when their partner slips it in their unlubed ass, about to drop? Maybe her Snapchat filters broke and she ran out of ways to tell herself she’s pretty? Either way, THE thirstiest Brockton rolly pollly, no-tipping, only takes pictures from the neck up, trap queen, Ceyhara Robinson, has crawled out from under the Brockton stash house to give y’all a piece of her mind.

Oh, and thinks that American Idol surpassed CeyHarmony’s “talent” because it’s an elaborate scam to get country singers.

Can we just picture this for a second? The poor sack whose job it is to axe off the first round of wannabe stars are sitting there. They look at her headshot: 

Then look at the real thing and start laughing:

Someone probably muttered a crack about her Fupa lookin’ like a ‘sploded tin o’ biscuits and how her boots are only zipped up halfway because of how large her calves are.
Ceyhara realizing her phone, which she depends on for the ap that makes it sound like she’s singing, is dying because she’s been online posting about how they let her in the door at American Idol.
The battery dies right as she has to sing, so she just squats down and lets loose a hood rat mating call, and then shits on the floor like the attention-hungry animal she is.

But let’s blame country music. Sure. Anything is better than accepting to herself that she sucks.

Brockton No-Tip Trap Queen Made A Music Video And It Is Straight Hot Fire

Instead, I will leave you with this:

Here is the thing about this chick: Aside from her complete lack of pitch, when she’s recording her two-click YouTube singles, is that no one is fooled with her false-sense of high esteem. She’s pathetic and the only way she knows how to get attention is to make up a bunch of controversial shit and spend all day responding to it. It’s sad, really.

At least I get paid to be cunty. 🐢💃💯

The last time she did this she went viral for being a shithead.

People like her weren’t raised right. They were never taught that there is a difference between “good attention” and “bad attention.”

Because Ceyhara isn’t talented so she surrounds herself with people who have to tell her she is. She will take the notoriety because that’s all she can get. Being the starved hood Queen on The Brockton Hub gets her more clicks than her failed music career. People don’t respond to her music because her voice sounds like someone mixed a sample of coyotes mating, in an East Side Campanelli garage, with a Boost Mobile auto-tune ap.

But you can’t really blame Ceyhara for it. You should blame her ratchet mom Jenny Robinson. Yeah, the woman defending her above.

Perhaps, instead of posting inspirational quotes on Facebook about how she keeps failing at relationships, Jenny should have been teaching her daughter about how to ward off negative attention. Jenny probably can’t tell what that is herself. 

People like Jenny think that if they tell their kids what they want to hear, and be their BFF, they are doing the right thing. She just keep cranking them kids out anyways. Instead Jenny, who obviously wasn’t at work today, is on her kid’s obnoxious thread cheering her on instead of explaining to her that it’s inappropriate.

I’m sorry your mom failed you, Ceyhara. Maybe you will read my words and have them resonate. No one thinks you’re keeping it 💯. You’re talentless, annoying, and someone needs to get you a big glass of water. The only thing you’re good at is perpetuating that Brockton stereotype.

Oh, and please leave this poor child alone. He’s just a boy and the fear in his eyes is too much for me to handle.

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11 Comment(s)
  • Rhino
    January 7, 2017 at 8:11 am

    Another completely irrelevant blog. You’re all grasping at straws lately

  • Buck Futts
    January 6, 2017 at 11:47 am

    She should really learn to act her weight.

  • D swizzle
    January 5, 2017 at 7:31 am

    Or a boob job lol^^

    • Kerri Bishop
      January 5, 2017 at 11:22 am

      She could probably benefit more from a book job! Lmfao!

  • D swizzle
    January 5, 2017 at 7:30 am

    Those flap jack titles on the mama…..I can’t! Let’s start a go fund me for a book job

  • Sloppy
    January 4, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    How do those people wipe their asses after they take a dump? With the toilet brush?

  • John Barker
    January 4, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    That kid should be down for the count…Looks like a dam meteorite struck under that two-ton tessie already..

  • Bill P.
    January 4, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    This Brockton ratchet couldn’t hold a note any better than she could hold deez nuts.

  • Worcester County Trap Queen
    January 4, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Why do so many drop-outs from MA want to be gangster rappers?

  • True Reality Speaks
    Mirror Mirror
    January 4, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    I threw up a little in my mouth when you put that selfie pic of Mama Cass in towards the end.

  • Greenpeace
    January 4, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    Beached whale, get help down here pronto !

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