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I think it might be “Reunion Week” here on Turtleboy Sports. Maybe it was the New Year’s Top 100 posts that stirred the pot but some of our most infamous subjects are resurfacing and are just as dumpy as ever.
You probably remember this thing:
Maybe she’s got another single, which sounds comparable to the guttural scream someone makes when their partner slips it in their unlubed ass, about to drop? Maybe her Snapchat filters broke and she ran out of ways to tell herself she’s pretty? Either way, THE thirstiest Brockton rolly pollly, no-tipping, only takes pictures from the neck up, trap queen, Ceyhara Robinson, has crawled out from under the Brockton stash house to give y’all a piece of her mind.
Oh, and thinks that American Idol surpassed CeyHarmony’s “talent” because it’s an elaborate scam to get country singers.
Then look at the real thing and start laughing:
Someone probably muttered a crack about her Fupa lookin’ like a ‘sploded tin o’ biscuits and how her boots are only zipped up halfway because of how large her calves are.
Ceyhara realizing her phone, which she depends on for the ap that makes it sound like she’s singing, is dying because she’s been online posting about how they let her in the door at American Idol.
The battery dies right as she has to sing, so she just squats down and lets loose a hood rat mating call, and then shits on the floor like the attention-hungry animal she is.
But let’s blame country music. Sure. Anything is better than accepting to herself that she sucks.
Instead, I will leave you with this:
Here is the thing about this chick: Aside from her complete lack of pitch, when she’s recording her two-click YouTube singles, is that no one is fooled with her false-sense of high esteem. She’s pathetic and the only way she knows how to get attention is to make up a bunch of controversial shit and spend all day responding to it. It’s sad, really.
At least I get paid to be cunty. 🐢💃💯
The last time she did this she went viral for being a shithead.
People like her weren’t raised right. They were never taught that there is a difference between “good attention” and “bad attention.”
Because Ceyhara isn’t talented so she surrounds herself with people who have to tell her she is. She will take the notoriety because that’s all she can get. Being the starved hood Queen on The Brockton Hub gets her more clicks than her failed music career. People don’t respond to her music because her voice sounds like someone mixed a sample of coyotes mating, in an East Side Campanelli garage, with a Boost Mobile auto-tune ap.
But you can’t really blame Ceyhara for it. You should blame her ratchet mom Jenny Robinson. Yeah, the woman defending her above.
Perhaps, instead of posting inspirational quotes on Facebook about how she keeps failing at relationships, Jenny should have been teaching her daughter about how to ward off negative attention. Jenny probably can’t tell what that is herself.
People like Jenny think that if they tell their kids what they want to hear, and be their BFF, they are doing the right thing. She just keep cranking them kids out anyways. Instead Jenny, who obviously wasn’t at work today, is on her kid’s obnoxious thread cheering her on instead of explaining to her that it’s inappropriate.
I’m sorry your mom failed you, Ceyhara. Maybe you will read my words and have them resonate. No one thinks you’re keeping it 💯. You’re talentless, annoying, and someone needs to get you a big glass of water. The only thing you’re good at is perpetuating that Brockton stereotype.
Oh, and please leave this poor child alone. He’s just a boy and the fear in his eyes is too much for me to handle.
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