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An annual tradition on Turtleboy every summer is the shaming of chuds who throw rocks at Seagulls. Yes, everyone knows that Seagulls are just rats with wings, but you’re not supposed to kill them. Nevertheless it seems to happen every year when ratchets meet nature.
Well, we almost made it a whole summer without a dead seagull story until a bunch of people sent us a link to this Facebook post from Hampton Beach two days ago….
But we did not blog it right away because there’s no proof that any of this actually happened. And as you know, we don’t do the whole “outraged online mob without any evidence” thing. Don’t get me wrong, we like online mobs. It just has to be justified. And the fact of the matter is that there is an epidemic on social media because of idiots like Shaun King wrongly vilifying innocent people and having their lives ruined by online mobs.
And let’s face the facts – all we have here is a picture of an injured seagull and a dude. There’s no video of him doing it. That matters. At least it does to us. April Novak’s post has been shared over 20,000 times, and people are looking to kill this guy, so it looks like it doesn’t matter to other people. And quite frankly, I don’t trust anyone who goes to Hampton Beach. So there’s that.
A man pictured in a viral Facebook photo post accusing him of kicking a seagull at Hampton Beach is telling his side of the story. He admits that he did hit the bird with his leg, but says it was an accident that he couldn’t replicate again if he tried. Hampton police said Monday they are investigating the incident but no charges have been filed so NH1 is not identifying the man by name at this time.
“There is an atrocious story on social media that I intentionally hurt the seagull. It is illegal and immoral to injure a seagull. If I intentionally hurt the seagull in front of hundreds of witnesses, I would perhaps be the dumbest criminal ever,” he said in a statement to NH1. “I’d like to apologize and explain what happened. I had just gotten back from getting a cheeseburger and fries. I was sitting on the sand. Seagulls got to my burger, and while still sitting in the sand, I spun around in a circle with my leg out to shoo it away, and unfortunately, did strike the seagull hard. It was a 1 in a million bad luck kick that couldn’t be repeated. This is no more than a simple mistake. But social media has blown it into something it is not.”
After he struck the bird, he said several people started approaching him and yelling at him. Because he had his pre-teen daughter with him at the time, he chose to leave the beach rather than address those people.
I wasn’t there so I have no idea whether or not he’s telling the truth. Gun to my head I say I believe him. Couple reasons why:
- He’s right – it would be insanely stupid to intentionally kill a seagull in front of a group of people in public.
- He’s a big dude, and fully capable of injuring a seagull by accidentally striking it.
- It makes sense that he’d want to get the hell out of there after a mob started forming.
- The seagull was eating his cheeseburger and fries. Don’t mess with a man’s cheeseburger.
Things that make me question him:
- How do you accidentally hit a seagull with your leg? I could imagine doing it with your hand, but a leg seems improbable.
- He voluntarily chose to go to Hampton Beach without being forced at gunpoint.
Sure, he could be lying too, but none of us have any proof of this, and everyone is taking the word of a stranger on Facebook, who quite frankly struggles with the English language. Nevertheless the court of Internet hardos has reached their verdict…..
Death by words!! Steve Black bout to bust a bat in yo ass to defend the honor of a random seagull.
Then there was the “we’re in their habitat” nudniks:
These people all need to be eaten by sharks. Hey Karen, when you accidentally hit a squirrel while driving through a rural area, do you stop and call the police? After all, you are on THEIR turf. You’re the intruder for having the audacity to drive from point A to point B on land that is legally owned by squirrels.
See how stupid that sounds? That’s what you sound like Karen. You are very, very supid.
She also had this to say:
“He looks like a douchebag, therefore I blindly believe he did it without any proof.” Now imagine she said this about someone who was not a white guy at the beach. Imagine she switched “frosted tips” to “nappy hair.” What would we call her? Oh yea, racist. But it’s cool, because she saved France from the terrorists!!!
Meanwhile everyone’s freaking out over the state of the seagull:
What planet am I on where we started giving a shit about seagulls? When you kill a mouse in your house do you have a funeral? It would be one thing if the guy intentionally threw a rock at the gull. But he says it was an accident. Like hitting a squirrel with your car. That thing obviously wasn’t meant to survive very long if he couldn’t figure out to stay away from a man’s cheeseburger.
I could’ve easily blogged this yesterday, gotten a billion shares and page views, and gone on a vacation with Mr. Turtlegirl to Aruba. But because we believe in responsible journalism and we recognize the size of our audience, we chose not to destroy this guy without evidence. NH1 News went a different route:
Oh I see. The guy didn’t give you a quote so you feed him to the masses. That’s the difference between us and them. The MSM reports unconfirmed Facebook posts as news, while we wait for facts to develop before reporting anything.