Hoodrat Heroes

Joe Curtatone’s Junkalicious Niece Mia Is Prego And Wants You To Give Her Money For A Car While She Goes To The Casino Because Her Crotch Fruit Might Be Born Sick Because She’s A Slopqueef



Remember Somerville Mayor Joe Curtatone’s junkalicious niece Mia Curtatone?

She of many Google trophies.

She who gets plowed by strung out ratchapotamii like Michael Lacrosse who once got arrested for stealing a van with another slugpump, and then leading state police on a two-state high speed chase before being arrested in New Hampshire.

Mia’s a typical Curatone who throws around her family name to threaten random people on Facebook.

Oh yea, THAT Mia Curtatone.

Well, she’s back and sadly she’s no longer with the love of her life, because he’s a prison snitch

The ol’ snitching breakup. Too bad Mia doesn’t have the connections that her ex-boyfriend has. Ya know, like an uncle who’s a mayor of a city, or an aunt who’s the registrar of deeds for Middlesex County.

She’s also got a semen demon sprouting inside of her that needs your help (AKA – gimme dat money):

I’m raising this money to put my son in a safe vehicle to transport him to and from doctor’s appointments and help pay with any medical expenses that are not covered by health insurance he is due February 3rd 2020 and is at high risk for spinal muscle atrophy also known as SMA a genetic abnormality that affects involuntarily motor skills breathing , swallowing ect. And can be fatal prayers are also expected too.

So the little poon polyp hasn’t been diagnosed with a disease yet. He’s just high risk because this is the Afvajistan that he has to develop inside of.

She’s sending this to everyone in Woburn so they can buy her a new car to get the kid to the hospital for the disease he might be born with, which has absolutely nothing to do with the life decisions she’s made along the way.

She’s got a new man in her life now, and this guy seems like an even bigger winner than the first chudstuffer.

Does he have a job or financial stability? Doesn’t matter. As long as you are opposed to snitching Mia Curtatone will let you germinate a crotch fruit in her incubator. Definitely a smart move getting pregnant. This kid is destined for greatness.

Here’s the thing though – if you’re gonna start a fundraiser, make sure you didn’t post about going to the casino the day before so you can blow all your money on slots.

If your long term plan to take care of your crotch fruit revolves around hitting it big on the slots, then you don’t have a plan at all. Slots are the biggest sucker draw in the casino, which is why there’s so many of them. They use colorful lighting and fun sounds because they want people to sit there all day and press a button over and over again while convincing themselves that today is the big day they finally hit the jackpot. It’s not.

But it’s cool because her mother Barbie (I shit you not, Barbie Curtatone) says she’s gonna be a great Mom.

And obviously Barbie knows a thing or two about being a great Mom who raises productive, non-ratchet children.

Mom also had an interesting fundraiser a few months back.

She’s looking for a free “Vaction” because she has children with special needs. She’s “there” education advocates, because her daughter Mia is the poster child for education. Now she’s tired and wants you to pay for her vacation, AKA Vaction.

The cover photo for Mia’s fundraiser is my favorite.

I’m not sure what the virgin Mary has to do with any of this, especially since Mia got prego because of an Immaculate Cumception, not an Immaculate Conception.


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60 Comment(s)
  • anonymous
    April 11, 2020 at 12:37 am

    LOL that guy is a career criminal, junk box and woman beater..What has this world come too!!!!

  • Judge dread
    September 14, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    There’s a reason why I didn’t vote for this scumbag on Monday. If she was questioned by the media about how much her monthly coke habit is, it would be a massive scandal. So I bet a lot of hush money goes to his drug addicted daughter?

    but it’s cool, the mayor is working on banning plastic straws.

  • Gene Edwin Dean
    September 13, 2019 at 11:20 am

    “She’s “there” education advocates”

    No she’s there education AVOCATES

    you two mooks go to GED scool together???

  • richyrich
    September 13, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Can someone please advise these two to reel in their tongues for pics? Nasty lowlives

    • Cosmo Alastair Curtatone
      March 18, 2020 at 2:18 am

      For your information you abomination Those women YOU are Calling malicious names work hard to keep our family rolling, and shame ON YOU SCUMBAGS for Even calling that Poor child a retard! HE ALMOST DIED LAST MONTH YOU HEARTLESS PEICES OF TRASH! As for the Scumbag my sister’s with, Yeah, Really hoping he goes back to prison and gets it up the ass again, Mia and my mother have made great sacrifices for those who they love most, My MOTHER has Worked her Fucking ass off keeping Mia from using coke, so those habits are done, drop it, As for Mia, You think what you like about her, cuz we don’t care to be honest, Half of you I’m pretty sure I know, A couple of you are mia’s friends, such as, Taylor Miran, Know you commented bitch, take it down before We have an issue, As for the other curtatones, Well they can go fuck themselves for all I care, But, if I end up on this site as a HoodRat hero, heads are gonna Fucking ROLL, So take note William Tauro and Shitbag editor named Andrew, better not end up on here, or your going down

      • West Warwick Trash
        May 8, 2020 at 1:16 pm

        Your momma named you Cosmo?!?! LMFAO you must be a popular guy in the shower at the joint.

    September 13, 2019 at 8:08 am

    I would.

  • Silencio Dogood
    September 13, 2019 at 2:47 am

    …prayers are also “expected” too.
    The sense of entitlement boggles the mind, living ratchet wretched and expecting plebeian taxpayers to pony up the dough for a “safe vehicle”, as her illiterati paycheck is reserved for partying.

  • marketing genius
    September 12, 2019 at 11:46 pm

    That photo at the top of the blog (in the hotel room) ought to be made into postcards publicizing any and every gimmee-ghettofabulous town in MA (“Stayvacation in Somerville!”).

    It captures everything about the Massachusetts public-entitlement culture so well.

  • RoccoV
    September 12, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    You people don’t know the half of it. The guy that she’s saying is the baby daddy isn’t the baby daddy. The baby daddy is Cosmo her father. So her daddy is the baby daddy. Now tell me how great the bloodlines are in the Curtatone Family? Incest is best as they say in that family

  • Somerville for Trump
    September 12, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    I initially felt bad for the sperm donor but after thinking about it, he didn’t do half bad. Mia is a piece of ass, she knows it and that pussy is kept prim and proper and bald as a cue ball. Its her meal ticket. She obviously trapped the guy saying yeah I’m on bc, then when the oops happened promised him a union job with a great pension working at the dpw so that he sticks around for a bit. As you can see from her pre/during pregnancy pics, her tits grew greatly in size. Another bonus. This sperm donor has a good 9 months of banging the fuck out of her. Hopefully she stays clean during the pregnancy . Also, id wear a maga hat every time i fucked her if i was the sperm donor.

  • whatevuh
    September 12, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    their, there, and they’re ok, got it? Let’s see if we can all agree this is 5th grade stuff also, oops, almost forgot, too, to, and two

  • John Blutarsky
    September 12, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    If herpes had a face, it would be this cunt.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 12, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    Im starting a GFM for some barley, wheat, and yeast (already have plenty of hops). Who will help me in my quest for total enlightenment through inebriation? Then Ill be well on my way to impregnating some fat chick…

  • Captain Trips
    September 12, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    She likes sticking her tongue out so much, why not just suck your way into a new car?

  • Ryan McPoyle
    September 12, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    I am familiar with that family and she is overshooting their status bigtime. This is the product of the family.

  • Josh Abrams
    September 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    I’m sho, I’m sho, I sho shorry. Did I mistake you? Oh a ratchet.

  • Enough With The Begging!!
    September 12, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    “….and help pay any medical expenses that are not covered by health insurance….”

    GTFOH!!!! Mass Health (aka the taxpayers) covers EVERYTHING!! Get a job and pay for your own fucking car!!

    • marketing genius
      September 12, 2019 at 11:47 pm

      Pay for your own car? Well, that’s just crazy talk.

  • kotoko
    September 12, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    prayers are ‘expected’?? I’ll pass, thanks!

    • Luke Fondleberg
      September 12, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      Downvote on “Prayers,’ upvote on ‘Voodoo Curse.’

  • Captain Trips
    September 12, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    I think she’s gets the 1st prize trophy for the most unwashed, sluttiest STP incubator of the past several weeks here.

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    September 12, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    One word comes to mind: Skank

    Social Media is Cancer

    • Fuck the Curtatones
      September 12, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      This is an example of the caliber of those that become democrat representatives, or mayors. Apple not far from tree here. They are really all trash. Quality people do not need to run for these scumbag mayor positions in scummy towns.

  • Haverhill Landlord
    September 12, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    Forget the bimbo and her uterine parasite, the real question is this: does that GoFundMe shit really work? My yacht could use a new engine and I’m loathe to pay for it, so I’m wondering if GoFundMe might be the way to go.

    It’d sure be a better investment than buying this slack-cunted loser a second-hand minivan so she can cart her probably defective sprog around, pissing away our Mass Health money…

  • bbqsaice
    September 12, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    im smokin a buuuuuuttttt. loser

    • Say No To Drugs
      September 12, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      So let’s pretend we’re someone who previously posted. That’s a great idea unless you’re so retarded you can’t spell sauce

  • SOySauce
    September 12, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    What is it like when you read about these dilapitaed fupas all while knowing you’re levels below them? Denial would be the only way to cope I guess. But even in denial, one knows. Scared little losers.

    • BBQ Saice
      September 12, 2019 at 12:53 pm

      Which story was about you?

  • dingdongisapingpong
    September 12, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    Bunch of sheep.

    • Baaaaaaaaaaa
      September 12, 2019 at 1:16 pm

      Yet here you are

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    September 12, 2019 at 11:55 am

    Another Pig Bitch about to give birth to a little piglet. And we are going to be paying for it till it’s 18 at least….. Pig Bitch!

    • power shitposter
      September 12, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      she looks like the Mayor, a fucking retarded ginnie. I like the picture of the faggot mayor in his Christopher Columbus outfit, what a fucking HOMO. How did the sperm donor get past the smell of this douchebag’s stench trench? All ginnies are traitors by birth, almost as bad as frenchmen

      • Wop
        September 12, 2019 at 5:24 pm

        It’s guinea, asshole.

        • power shitposter
          September 12, 2019 at 8:45 pm

          it’s whatever I say it is you worthless greaseball, Ginzo Goombah greaser guido wog wop. I’ll settle shit with you tinkerbell
          120 Lantern Way

          • Y
            September 13, 2019 at 7:54 pm

            F_ck your mother.

      • AY yo Joe Curtatone
        September 13, 2019 at 8:48 am

        Guinea get it right you gibroni.

        • fathetr O'Leary the cocksucking fairy
          September 13, 2019 at 9:18 pm

          ginzo not guinzo you retarded daigo. most daigo boys have been assraped by their parish priest. stupid WOPS

  • La Mano Nera
    September 12, 2019 at 11:38 am

    And jamokes like Chris Cuomo think “Fredo” is a vicious slam. This bunch of Curatones is making us all look bad.

  • Amy
    September 12, 2019 at 11:21 am

    yall sound like jealous bitches. probably mad your so fat cant see your own dicks or get laid and her family has nothing to do with this Mia is a good person her whole family too way better then any families you obviously come from the way yall were raised . i hope she sues your asses for slander becaus thats all this is.

    • Slore
      September 12, 2019 at 11:23 am

      Hi Mia!

      • One who knows
        September 13, 2019 at 6:41 am

        Clearly you have t heard the interview her mother did about the whole family – and haven’t googled her daddy …. you can’t be serious with this upstanding family bullshit ! Mia is clearly a product of her dysfunctional upbringing – they’re all nuts !

    • Spic Tormentor
      September 12, 2019 at 11:51 am

      Hey Mia,

      You left your crusty ass panties with dick holes in em at my house

      You fat bitch

    • JoeMomma
      September 12, 2019 at 12:37 pm

      Sorry Amy,

      My family doesn’t beg on the internet.

      I work for a living.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      September 12, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Yeah, yeah, you were hear a year or two ago crying about suing everyone for ‘deformation’. Maybe you should utilize some of your energy to learn grammar, punctuation, and spelling. It’s not too difficult if you really try. Whatever happened to you being in nursing school? Flunked out, perhaps, did ya’?

      • Lipstick Hippie
        September 13, 2019 at 5:52 pm

        Nah, she didn’t flunk out. She quit when she realized that if she got a degree someone might expect her to work. Can’t be having that – not when she’s already got a full time job as a skank, a slut, and an all-around dumb fuck.

    • Luke Fondleberg
      September 12, 2019 at 10:23 pm

      As these comments are written, not spoken:


      1. law
      a published false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation; a written defamation.

    • marketing genius
      September 12, 2019 at 11:51 pm

      “your so fat cant see…”

      You’re so uneducated, you can’t use apostrophes, contraception, or self restraint, apparently.

  • Spic Tormentor
    September 12, 2019 at 10:55 am

    I used to fuck ugly ass broads like her and then id use them as a punching bag once their dope sickness started kicking in

  • hi mish
    September 12, 2019 at 10:30 am

    That’s special. Throwing her big name around. Complex issues? You can tell how much a person cares about what others think of them, by how interested they are in people besides themselves. Leads to self harm.

  • Selfie Fail
    September 12, 2019 at 10:16 am

    They didn’t even bother hiding the splooge tissue near her foot.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      September 12, 2019 at 1:57 pm

      In a shitty hotel room, no less.

    • Captain Trips
      September 12, 2019 at 2:00 pm

      Good catch!

  • Creme De La Creme Blood Line
    September 12, 2019 at 9:42 am

    My sons gonna be born retarded. He is a Curtatone dont ya know.
    So his chances of having a genetic brain defect are pretty high.

  • Jelly Of The Month Club
    September 12, 2019 at 9:40 am

    You should do a story on Mayor Joe soliciting complaints against his officers that were sent to Boston to assist with the straight pride parade. I shit you not. He’s looking for people to complain about his city’s Officers How is this guy elected?

  • Slore
    September 12, 2019 at 9:36 am

    LMAO I went to school with her I remember hearing she was banging 30 year old guys when she was like 14

    • Ay Yo Ay Yo
      September 12, 2019 at 9:46 am

      I remember the school nurse allegedly looking horrified as she just kept saying mias get festering oozing sores that smell while shaking her head in disgust.

  • Richard Hertz - Holden
    September 12, 2019 at 9:19 am

    Just like her uncle Joe (Putatone) she’s a drain on society

  • Jefe
    September 12, 2019 at 9:17 am

    Curtatone is almost as corrupt as Juicy J. This guy and his family are trash.
    He definitely bangs his office staff. Anyone who knows, knows.
    Total disgrace.

  • Batman
    September 12, 2019 at 9:15 am

    Mia seems like quite the nice young lady. Nah, just kidding, what a useless waste of space. I think she should ask the mayor and the registrar of deeds for help first. P. O. S.

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