Remember Somerville Mayor Joe Curtatone’s junkalicious niece Mia Curtatone?
She of many Google trophies.
She who gets plowed by strung out ratchapotamii like Michael Lacrosse who once got arrested for stealing a van with another slugpump, and then leading state police on a two-state high speed chase before being arrested in New Hampshire.
Mia’s a typical Curatone who throws around her family name to threaten random people on Facebook.
Oh yea, THAT Mia Curtatone.
Well, she’s back and sadly she’s no longer with the love of her life, because he’s a prison snitch
The ol’ snitching breakup. Too bad Mia doesn’t have the connections that her ex-boyfriend has. Ya know, like an uncle who’s a mayor of a city, or an aunt who’s the registrar of deeds for Middlesex County.
She’s also got a semen demon sprouting inside of her that needs your help (AKA – gimme dat money):
I’m raising this money to put my son in a safe vehicle to transport him to and from doctor’s appointments and help pay with any medical expenses that are not covered by health insurance he is due February 3rd 2020 and is at high risk for spinal muscle atrophy also known as SMA a genetic abnormality that affects involuntarily motor skills breathing , swallowing ect. And can be fatal prayers are also expected too.
So the little poon polyp hasn’t been diagnosed with a disease yet. He’s just high risk because this is the Afvajistan that he has to develop inside of.
She’s sending this to everyone in Woburn so they can buy her a new car to get the kid to the hospital for the disease he might be born with, which has absolutely nothing to do with the life decisions she’s made along the way.
She’s got a new man in her life now, and this guy seems like an even bigger winner than the first chudstuffer.
Does he have a job or financial stability? Doesn’t matter. As long as you are opposed to snitching Mia Curtatone will let you germinate a crotch fruit in her incubator. Definitely a smart move getting pregnant. This kid is destined for greatness.
Here’s the thing though – if you’re gonna start a fundraiser, make sure you didn’t post about going to the casino the day before so you can blow all your money on slots.
If your long term plan to take care of your crotch fruit revolves around hitting it big on the slots, then you don’t have a plan at all. Slots are the biggest sucker draw in the casino, which is why there’s so many of them. They use colorful lighting and fun sounds because they want people to sit there all day and press a button over and over again while convincing themselves that today is the big day they finally hit the jackpot. It’s not.
But it’s cool because her mother Barbie (I shit you not, Barbie Curtatone) says she’s gonna be a great Mom.
And obviously Barbie knows a thing or two about being a great Mom who raises productive, non-ratchet children.
Mom also had an interesting fundraiser a few months back.
She’s looking for a free “Vaction” because she has children with special needs. She’s “there” education advocates, because her daughter Mia is the poster child for education. Now she’s tired and wants you to pay for her vacation, AKA Vaction.
The cover photo for Mia’s fundraiser is my favorite.
I’m not sure what the virgin Mary has to do with any of this, especially since Mia got prego because of an Immaculate Cumception, not an Immaculate Conception.
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