Joe Petty is having the OCPF investigate Turtleboy Sports for supporting Michael Gaffney instead of him.
Everyone knows Joe Petty is shitting his pants because he realizes the Turtleboy Sports Revolution is a threat to his gravy train. If he ever lost the mayor’s seat then the McGovern crime family would completely cut off his allowance. He’d go back to being an angry, bumbling, middle aged man that no one has any use for. As a result of this fear of the turtle, he has elected to send his goons at the Office of Campaign and Political Finance to come after both Turtleboy, and their endorsement of Michael Gaffney for Mayor of Worcester. From Masslive:
Gaffney, facing off against incumbent Joseph Petty for mayor, also had an inquiry from OCPF on his payments to local blog Turtleboy Sports.
Gaffney said someone called in a complaint to OCPF that Turtleboy was writing promotional blogs for Gaffney. Paid promotional blogs normally cost $50, according to the website for Turtleboy Digital Marketing, LLC, the company that sells advertisements for the blog.
“Turtleboy Sports is just like any other paper or anything else … they write whatever they want to write,” said Gaffney, denying that any of the blogs are written on his behalf. “I certainly don’t tell them what to write.”
Gaffney has been advertising on Turtleboy Sports since July 1 with a banner ad that links to his campaign’s Facebook page.
Twice monthly financial filings with OCPF currently show no payments to Turtleboy Sports or Turtleboy Digital Marketing, LLC for the advertisement. Gaffney has filed reports through Sept. 15.
“We got the bill for July in early August due at the end of the month,” Gaffney clarified on Monday. “We sent over the check.”
He said he pays $400 a month for the advertisement and that his next campaign finance report will reflect that payment.
Gaffney said he has resolved this issue with OCPF.
The Turtleboy Digital Marketing website notes it charges $1 for every 1,000 page views per month for an advertisement on the side of the page. Its latest traffic posting from September notes it had more than 1,000,000 page views, which would put the ad at a cost of $1,000. A request for comment from Aidan Kearney, who runs Turtleboy Digital Marketing, was not immediately returned.
HAHAHHAHAHA. Where do we start with this gem? First of all, I want every single person in this picture to be investigated by the OCPF.
Clearly they are being paid money by Joe Petty since they are openly endorsing him. Because in America no one ever supports a political candidate unless they’re being paid to do so. Ever.
Secondly, we’ve been told that the person who made the complaint was Tina Zlody, an irrelevant City Council candidate who will go down in history as the lady who made the the cool yard signs and authorized the payments for RBG’s trip to Oakland. She knows she can’t win, but she wants to be loyal to Petty in the vain hope that she will be allowed to suckle off of the McGovern bosom. It’s why whenever you see a Zlody sign, it’s almost always directly next to a Petty or Matt Wally sign. They’re all just the same thing – machine backed candidates who do what they’re told.
Thirdly, Turtleboy doesn’t run the finances, we just write the blogs. But if you think you’re getting a sponsored blog on our site for $50 you’re out of your mind. This is what it looks like on the Turtleboy Digital Marketing page:
As you can see, Masslive blatantly lied in their article. There’s nothing on there about $50. Our “sponsored blogs” also say “sponsored blogs” on the top of them, so you know that this ad was paid for. For instance, Angelo’s Autos hired us back in January to write this for them:
Fourthly, anyone can run a banner ad on Turtleboy Sports. We really don’t care. Like Frenchy said in The Departed, “This is America, if you’re not making money then you’re fucking idiot.” And businesses advertise because it helps them make money.
Now if I were a small business owner looking for a place to put an ad, I’d be looking for two main things – price and page views. Let’s suppose you want to run an ad for a couple months on the Telegram and Gazette. Well, guess how much it costs for your ad to be seen 445,000 times per month?
$3,501!!! Ya got that? Anyone paying that kind of money obviously has no idea how to run a business. The Telegram and Gazette has to charge you that because they have a staff of hundreds to feed, plus they have to pay for Spanky’s health insurance and new drop-top. And for that you’re seen under half a million times.
Meanwhile at Turtleboy Sports we’ve had over 1.2 million page views already in September and our advertisers are seen on each and every blog we publish, past and present. Oh yea, we’re also a million times cheaper than them.
So if you’re Mike Gaffney and you wanna run a couple ads who are you gonna go to? The expensive waste of space that no one reads? Or the source of hot takes that everyone and their grandmother rides each and every day? It’s really a no-brainer.
Meanwhile Jumpin’ Joe is advertising with the Telegram and Gazette, which explains why he’s so butthurt about this. Because while he’s being forced to spend an arm and a leg to run an ad that no one sees on the Telegram, Gaffney’s getting value for his buck. It’s kind of a microcosm of the Petty administration in general – spend lots of money without caring about the return on your investment.
As for the “promotional blogs,” we can promote whoever the hell we wanna promote, and we certainly don’t need Joe Petty, Tina Zlody, Sarai Rivera, or the OCPF’s blessing to do so. Because this is America and we’re allowed to like certain things and dislike certain things and then tell the world about it. And quite frankly, Mike Gaffney has done a lot of things that we like, such as supporting the Worcester Police, refusing to raise property taxes, starting the audit of Mosaic, and getting cops into North High School.
He doesn’t pay us a dime for those, and obviously this is just leftover butthurt from Joe Petty because we’re not writing nice things about him. Hey Joe, you couldn’t afford what you’d have to pay us to say something nice about you. You’re gutless, you stand for nothing, and the city has gone to shit under your watch. That’s why we support Gaffney.