Turtleboy Investigates

Just Like We Predicted – 13 Year Old Zavion Parker Made Up The Story About Gingers With “I Hate Black People” Tattoos Kidnapping Him Because Of His Race And Morons Believed It Because They Wanted To Believe It

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A couple weeks ago we called out one of the most obvious fake hate crimes of all time, when 13 year old Zavion Parker claimed he was kidnapped and beaten by five racist gingers, one of whom had an “I hate black people” tattoo. It was just so blatantly fake that no one with a functional brain could ever believe it actually happened. These were the text messages the “kidnappers” allegedly sent Zavion’s mom from his cell phone:

“I stoled him.”


Obviously what happened was that Zavion did what a lot of 13 year old boys do – got into mischief. He was supposed to be home, and when ma dukes texted him he made up a lie. Who would’ve ever thought this woman would fall for such an obvious tall tale?

She obviously lives in Houston because she’s training to be an astronaut. I thought she would be smarter than that.

But because the racism-industrial complex is so profitable, multiple media outlets ran with a 13 year old’s story about a car full of murderous white supremacist gingers as a fact, not an allegation from a 13 year old:

The woman leading the charge was ABC affiliate reporter Erica Simon, who tweeted about it relentlessly:

Oh good, Mom said her 13 year old never lied to her before. And no parent has ever been deceived by their 13 year old son. Ever. Therefore it’s responsible for a “journalist” to inflame racial tensions by passing on what is clearly just a child lying to his mother.

As a result the people who actually lived in the house where Zavion claimed he was tortured were harassed relentlessly. Also, they were Hispanic, not a clan of gingers:


Well, the Houston Police this week confirmed what Turtleboy was the only media outlet to call out ahead of time – Zavion made the whole thing up:


So just to review:

  • The red kidnapping truck that Tariq Nasheed (a man with over 200K followers and a Twitter verified blue checkmark) said belonged to the ginger white supremacists, really just belonged to a random innocent person.

  • Yet despite Twitter and Facebook’s claims that they will be getting rid of fake news, his account will stay up. Meanwhile Twitter has shut down two of our accounts because we call out fake news like this.
  • The innocent property owners had mobs of “woke” folk protesting them for weeks because of the fake news being tweeted out by an ABC reporter.
  • Zavion will not be charged despite making up a lie that was intended to create racial tension, cost the taxpayers lots of money to investigate, and falsely implicated several innocent people.

There’s literally no downside to making up a fake hate crime. You can’t get in trouble for it.

So what does Erica Simon have to say now?

What DID happen to Zavion? He’s a 13 year old kid. He fucked around after school and did what millions of 13 year old boys have done before – lied to Mom. But you believed him because you wanted to believe him. It fit your “Trump’s Amerikkka” narrative. Because the fact of that matter is that a gang of ginger white supremacists with “I hate black people” tattoos kidnapping black kids is good for business if you’re in the mainstream media.

P.S. Infowars linked us and credited us with being the only media outlet to call this out for the lie that it clearly was:

The story was an obvious hoax from the very beginning as Turtle Boy Sports exposed last month, nonetheless ABC 13 reporter Erica Simon ran with it like crazy.

Not sure how I feel about that. I like the publicity, but I feel like being associated with Alex Jones almost isn’t worth it, because he’s such a worthless pile of dog shit.

7 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    June 7, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    If Obama were still president, this lying little shit and his fat ass welfare queen mama would have been invited to the White House.

  • Real_Finn
    June 6, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    Panty Party (spelling stays),

    You guys are awfully quiet now. Where is your press conference? Outrage?

    Get Fucked,

  • Screw PC
    June 6, 2018 at 4:11 pm

    Hands Up,

    Don’t LIE.

  • deflatteddoritodinks
    June 6, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    Can we deport them? I don’t care if they’re citizens.

    • Screw PC
      June 6, 2018 at 4:10 pm

      Do you specifically mean Goldfupa and her lying sack of hellspawn? Why would we do such a thing to a national treasure like them? I’m taking a knee on this one, frfr, 100.

  • Screw PC
    June 6, 2018 at 1:40 pm

    So, black people who went with this bullshit without forethought:

    How the fuck are we supposed to give half of one fuck about your supposed modern day “plights” when you jump on every bullshit story like this and, grandstanding your own PREJUDICE, immediately assume the white guy is trying to do evil shit to you?

    Fuck you Talcum X, fuck that snizz reporter, and especially fuck the Black Panthers. I would have told you once to fuck off, and if you had aggressively set foot on my property, since this was Texas, I would have uncapped the top of your fucking head with a shotgun and probably gotten a ribbon for it.

    • foo manchew
      June 6, 2018 at 2:10 pm

      Oh-prezzed by dah white debil agains! Oh-prezzed mah bruthas!

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