All-Star Criminals Nudniks

Karen Of The Day: Childless Stoneham Divorce Attorney Narcs On Crotch Fruits Playing Basketball, Wants Parents Fined, Says She’s Making A Difference


Here’s your Karen of the day out of Stoneham.

Boys playing basketball??? In public??

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

We are all going to die.

And they weren’t even using separate balls. They all touched the SAME basketball, so now they all have it and they’re all gonna go home and hug Grandma in her bunker and then she’s gonna die. Luckily when their parents go to the grocery store or Walmart they touch shopping carts and other groceries that have NEVER been touched by anyone else. Walmart isn’t dangerous – kids playing basketball is.

Staying in the house should NOT be difficult for kids. Sure, Colleen Hunt (to make things easier lets just call her Chunt) has no children of her own and thus has no idea what it’s like to lock up children for six weeks in their homes. But she watched This Is Us and it looks easy enough for Randall and Beth so she’s basically an expert on parenting during a pandemic now. Just throw them in front of a iPad and the rest should take care of itself right?

Why can’t everyone just follow the rules like Chunt!!! This is the face of a woman who spent her entire life enforcing RULES!!

Her favorite day of every school year was the first day because that was the day the teacher explained the rules. When the teacher forget to collect the homework, she reminded them. When she goes over the speed limit while driving she self-reports to the police. There is nothing women like Chunt more than creating and enforcing new RULES!!

She also wants the government to begin ticketing parents when their crotch fruits don’t follow the RULES!! Sure, many of them have been forced out of work by the government and are on the verge of being destitute, but that doesn’t mean the government can’t take another steamy dump on them by forcing them to pay money for being free people living in a free country.

What does Chunt do for work anyway?

She’s a divorce attorney of course! And it just so happens that divorces in China rose dramatically as a direct result of lockdowns. It’s almost as if she has something to gain here.

At first it seemed like Chunt’s narcing would be well received.

Because we are living in a snitch culture now where every Karen with a Facebook filter and a hyphenated last name has appointed themselves a deputy COVID gestapo. And what better way to fund the new high school than to add a freedom tax for people who refuse to be prisoners in their own homes?

Then out of nowhere a brave person came forward and said what millions of people are starting to realize, but few will say publicly for fear of Chunt and the Karen patrol.

Amen sister!

Fuck each and every one of these self-absorbed, narcissistic chunts who don’t know how to mind their own business. The fact that people aren’t embarrassed to post about seeing 6 kids playing basketball in public is all you need to know about what this overrated disease has done to our society. Turns out lots of people agreed with the commenter.

OF COURSE the one woman standing up for Chunt is named Karen, and OF COURSE she is “Boston Strong” in Stoneham.

This really is the Boston Strong crowd all over again. A bunch of Facebook heroes who sat on their ass at home far away from Boston, watched the cops find the terrorists, wasn’t at the marathon, and then pretended like this made them strong. Because if the terrorists attacked Nashville they would’ve shut everything down for good and given the terrorists the key to the city.

Chunt wouldn’t stop responding to every person who rightfully called her out for being terrible. Ya know, because those people don’t read “educational articles.”

New rule – NO MORE MEMES!!!

They’re not funny!! We’re all going to die!!

What elitists like Chunt don’t realize is that for millions of kids home is dangerous. They’ve never met someone who was a victim of abuse or had a parent that’s addicted to drugs. They think that every kid is going back to a 3,000 square foot house, equipped with unlimited food and iMachines everywhere. Kids all across the country are dying in record rates because of domestic violence, largely because DCF can’t do home visits anymore. But the childless woman knows more than you about this because she reads “educational articles.”

Yea guys, basketball courts are more dangerous than abusive parents. Didn’t you read the educational article?

This about sums up her ignorance.

Not everyone is fortunate to stay in their house? Oh fuck off you self righteous Chunt!! You think we wanna be here? People stuck in their homes have been forced their by the government. You think being designated as “essential” by the government makes you fucking special? You think that being reduced to collecting unemployment and waiting in bread lines is a good thing??? You think a divorce attorney is more essential than a guy who works in retail and can’t provide for his family? Nah, fuck off.

She’s making a difference by raising awareness!!

People need to start standing up to the Chunts and Karens out there like this:

Protesting isn’t acceptable. That about sums it up right there. If only the British knew it was this easy. Just tell them they’re not allowed to protest the government that is forcing them to become impoverished. Problem solved.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


62 Comment(s)
  • Ibby
    April 27, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    she would feel a lot better wit some fresh batteries for her steely dan!!

  • Captain Insano
    April 26, 2020 at 10:30 am

    I would take her out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.

  • soxrock191
    April 24, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    I remember the days when 1 neighborhood kid got chicken pox ALL the neighborhood kids got chicken pox cuz our parents were smart enough to stick us all in one place together. I suppose the Karens would consider it child abuse. It’s basically the same thing as herd immunity.

    So fuck off KAREN, fuck off.
    Plus you have a very tacky bathroom.

  • JoeMomma
    April 24, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    If you look up non essential in the dictionary you’ll see her picture.

  • Richard Cranium
    April 24, 2020 at 9:53 am

    Another rat motherfucker. Remember these rats when all goes back to normal.
    Say hi to your brother Mike for me.

  • Jerry P
    April 24, 2020 at 8:41 am

    All this anger could and should be directed at local governments not some random person whose just one of millions. Turtle boy must be really struggling for content for this to be a full article. If your opinion about it is so strong maybe Charlie Baker should be Karen of the Day – not this poor girl.

  • NotKaren
    April 24, 2020 at 8:39 am


    My new daily mantra to the “StayTheFuckAtHome crowd who are intent of imposing themselves on other people. Think I’m dangerous because I’m outside fishing with my kid or walking my dog, you’ll be just fine of you #STAY THE FUCK AWAY (from me)!

    (And if you’re really staying at home, it wouldn’t matter anyway, Karen).

  • Turd Reversalist
    April 24, 2020 at 1:10 am

    Professional assessment.
    1. Bitter and childless, she feels the world should share in her shame and misery.
    2. Her balloon knot is tied squeaky tight, a challenge but by no means insurmountable with proper technique and sufficient effort.
    3. She has unwittingly “done her part” for the community by not breeding and possibly removing an entire strain of defective DNA from the gene pool.
    #1 and #3 are what they are. #2 is where I come in. Time to work that leather cheerio into a frothy mess.

    Sinking it to the bristles for justice and the common good,
    Yours in penetration that’s never slight,

  • Her meter has stopped running
    April 24, 2020 at 12:10 am

    She’s a divorce lawyer who adores conflict and hates everyone. She makes money only if families are in conflict. If families are not in conflict, because the children are enjoying themselves on the basketball court, then she has to create conflict by closing the court and sending them home. Whenever she sees a happy, well-adjusted family, she starts to plot how she can destroy it. In her eyes, every marriage is a bad marriage. She’s especially angry now because her hourly fee meter can’t run while she’s locked up at home alone.

  • Silencio Dogood
    April 23, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    balling caused the virus to spread through Wuhan at an inscrutable rate ( and it’s no joke to those unfortunate faced people with nothing better to do in these United States.

    April 23, 2020 at 9:21 pm

    We need a few patriotic mayors to open up their cities and instruct their police not to enforce Charlie Parker’s totalitarian whims. Call them FREEDOM CITIES. Enough is enough. If there is a golf course in that town I will definitely spend my money there!

  • Wanker Mcfadden
    April 23, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    There once was a lady named Karen
    Whose poon was lonely and baron
    She hated b ball
    Set the kids up for the fall
    Then went back to her hole a tearin’

    • Burlando Castike
      April 25, 2020 at 4:41 pm

      Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Absolute brilliance!

  • Karissa
    April 23, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    Yeah I totally get it and absolutely agree with Attorney Colleen, but in any event I’m sure those young men at the basketball court mean well, just like the ones out all night at the ones in Boston selling drugs, shooting guns and squeezing the occasionally game in of hoops at the courts in Boston all night mean well!!!! Now enough with the BS get the hell in the house and come out when people like Charlie, Marty and Attorney Colleen say its safe!!!! Please OMG what’s next ??????

  • Judge dread
    April 23, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    This whole COVAIDS thing is just one giant joke and troll bait. I went to the stop and shop yesterday and didn’t have a mask and people were like omg.

    One person said how come you don’t have a mask I’m like how come you are wearing a mask for saw dust, it does block biological contamination. They shut the fuck up real fast.

    • Charlie Parker
      April 23, 2020 at 7:41 pm

      You Savage!
      I’ll bet you went the wrong way up the one way aisle, and fondled the last package of Charmin, then left it, sadly, by itself.

      Your Shaw’s Monopoly whatnot is confiscated!

  • Mike Oxlong
    April 23, 2020 at 6:35 pm

    1st pic: Would
    2nd pic: ?? is the glue melting off the fake lashes?
    3rd pic: Yeah, would after a stiff martini
    4th pic: ?? Whattup w the eyeballs, looks like a robot. yikes. Would need more martinis.

  • Captain Trips
    Curly Howard
    April 23, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    “Colleen Hunt” – not sure just how clean her cunt really is nyuk nyuk nyuk!

  • Ron Jeremy's Son
    April 23, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    She’s horrible, but she does have great tig bitties.

    Otherwise, no redeeming qualities.

    Not worth the hassle.

  • Couch Fart
    April 23, 2020 at 4:14 pm

    Here’s the real reason all these states including ours are in lockdown …they’re trying to force Trump and the Congress to give them billions extra to bail them out because of the underfunded state pensions for the public employees …Thousands and thousands of state employees have pensions for life of over 50,000 a year….It’s not sustainable and we’re bankrupt now… trust me on this that’s the real reason for this whole fake virus it lock down

    Mitch McConnell thank God knows what’s going on and told the govs to fuck off …you’re going to start the state bankruptcies soon

    Notice today more traffic than ever out on the roads people are getting sick of being held in and realizing they’ve been scammed

    • Sir Wilfred Death
      April 23, 2020 at 4:26 pm

      You nailed it. The other big reason is to hurt President Trump in November. It won’t work. The dam is bursting.

      Fuck these Authoritarian Chunts.

      Social Media is Cancer
      (it works when exposing Chunts)

  • Holleen Cunt
    April 23, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    The proud winner of multiple ugly baby contests..

  • Callin' 'em as I see's 'em
    April 23, 2020 at 3:56 pm

    She’s just salty because she’s dying for them to run a sweaty, du-rag wearing train on her. Having multiple juvie creampies in her at once is probably her lifelong ambition.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    April 23, 2020 at 2:51 pm

    When this is over these Karens need to be rounded up and have their heads shaved in the town square. Treat them like the euro whores who fucked nazis during the war.

  • SassySwede
    April 23, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    Was she raised by raccoons or….?
    Talk about a [bad] flashback to the 1980s and hanging in the girl’s room passing around a black eyeliner pencil and cigarette lighter. Didn’t like it then and hate it even more now. Pssst. Pretentiousness isn’t attractive – in make up nor personality!

  • The Common Man
    April 23, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    This is the exact type of person who says “I believe in science”. What that means is she trust scientist and academics with blind faith. It’s not like a scientists or doctors haven’t been wrong before. It’s not like their projections were way off, it’s not like Dr Fauci didn’t say in late January that this virus isn’t a threat to American. No, according to this Karen, they are right and must be obeyed with blind faith. Don’t even try to debate that with her, she’s read “educational articles”. What the he’ll does that even mean?

    • Truth
      April 23, 2020 at 1:58 pm

      Exactly. They believe in science until the idea of two genders comes up. They don’t realize the other 50 “genders” are due to hormones in the drinking water from decades of birth control pills excreted into the public supply.

  • Colleen is a good Nazi
    April 23, 2020 at 1:43 pm


    Do you actually remember how we were sold on this? “The virus takes xx days to incubate. So if we just ‘stay in’ for TWO WEEKS, we will significantly reduce the spread of COVID…”

    That was over a month ago.

    Day cares are closed until the end of June. School until September.

    So much for “two weeks,” then, right?

    But then if you were smarter, you probably could have been admitted to a better law school. Guess you failed Constitutional Law anyway.

  • Fuckin cunt
    April 23, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    Fuck her and everyone who is scared to go out. This isn’t Ebola, it is a virus that is no more deadly than the yearly flu, just a lot more contagious. It is so contagious because it is novel and there isn’t herd immunity. And we are not going to get here immunity sitting in fucking house. The idea behind the lockdown was to flatten the curve, the curve has been squashed….there is no reason why to continue the lock down. The only reason this lockdown is continuing in Massachusetts is because Charlie Parker is a bitch and scared to open shit up because he doesn’t want nasty articles written about him in the Globe. I got a message for you Charlie Parker, they are going to trash you no matter what!

  • Bucky
    April 23, 2020 at 1:38 pm

    1000 c@ck stare – check
    boxed wine – check
    the need for attention – check
    the faint smell of cats – check
    the overwhelming smell of loneliness – bingo
    the only thing missing is the adopted African child

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      April 23, 2020 at 4:35 pm

      #1 post of the day!

      Bet she has a banana hammock on her kitchen counter

  • Josef Fritzl
    April 23, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    I would rent her a basement studio.

  • Chief Elizabeth Warren
    April 23, 2020 at 1:21 pm

    I am really upset that people have been walking around with covid dangerously imperiling the lives of others for no good reason.
    My oldest brother Don who was dying from insideous cancer actually died from covid becsuse someone passed covid along to him. He was healthy wnd battling deadly cancer and some orangeman gave him covid.

    • Mad Maxine Waters
      April 23, 2020 at 2:56 pm

      Right on liz. My sister is dying from covid and not all da crack she did in da 80s. Its orangemans fault.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    April 23, 2020 at 1:16 pm

    Something tells me Mike Michetti hasn’t gotten a blowjob in a long time.

  • Tutus
    April 23, 2020 at 1:13 pm

    No wonder this ugly douchebag is childless

  • Colleen Cunt
    April 23, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    Hi, it’s me Colleen! I love getting gang banged by feral NEGROS on basketball courts in the hood! I CRAVE HUGE, DIRTY, NEGRO COCKS!!!

  • Philip Landry
    Al Gore's Karen
    April 23, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    I hate that this cold thing is taking emphasis off global warming. We all need to dig out own bunkers and hide forever and let the earth heal.

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    April 23, 2020 at 12:50 pm

    With those eyelashes, depending on how fast she blinks, she could fly…

  • Terrell Suggs
    April 23, 2020 at 12:34 pm

    I would give her the old sizzle jizzle and a pink sock.

  • Jack Mehoff
    Jack Mehoff
    April 23, 2020 at 12:27 pm

    No doubt in my mind that Mike Michetti will become Mike Hunt if they get married. Say that name to yourself and u will get it. She is using a strap-on on him for sure. This douche bag needs to have multiple loads shot all over her face. If she was a decent attorney, she would realize that much of what governors and mayors are ordering is blatantly unconstitutional. Fuck her and all of the other libtards.

  • don
    April 23, 2020 at 12:27 pm

    im guessing her boytoy mike michetti bows down to her every word with a leash around his neck. run mike. run far away and quickly.

  • Penis McFlurry
    April 23, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    A 3 input model.

  • dball31211
    stiff pete
    April 23, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    She has Bristol’s makeup skills, did you see those eyelashes?

  • Crispy C
    April 23, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    This dumb bitch obviously doesn’t have kids. It’s very hard to keep certain kids in the house even with online schooling (takes an hour a day at most) and all the internet stuff.

    What a dumbass.

    • Crispy C
      April 23, 2020 at 12:17 pm

      Also for someone that keeps yapping about how she likes to be educated, maybe she should have taken things more seriously in high school before ending up at a 3rd rate state school like UNH.

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    April 23, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    Just when you THINK there is nothing worse than a Karen…. A Chunt comes along. We should definitely listen to her advice cause she uses big words. What an insightful cunt she is. **Insert eye roll**

  • Chris Sales Elbow
    April 23, 2020 at 12:00 pm

    Collen Hunt.Any relation to Mike Hunt??

  • WeRFucked
    April 23, 2020 at 11:59 am

    I’m with the attorney on this. Maybe not the snitching part. IDGAF if your kids are spreading the disease around to your grandma if you don’t. But I want to leave my house someday. Why the fuck are there so many people still getting infected with this? I’ve been in my house since mid-March. If everyone stays in it’ll go away. That’s what the government is telling us. They’re not trying to take our rights away… they want us to pay taxes again. Soon.

    I’m seeing what this does to people. I’m in there everyday. This is not the fucking common cold. This is not the seasonal flu. Your elderly parents can get the flu and odds are they will be fine. They get Covid-19… odds are you’re planning their funeral.

    Stay inside for fucks sake.

    • dball31211
      Bullshit artist
      April 23, 2020 at 12:20 pm

      So you have been in you’re house since mid March, or you been in “somewhere” every day seeing what covid has been doing to people? Bullshit!

      • WeRFucked
        April 23, 2020 at 12:25 pm

        LOL work-home-work-home-work…

        Sorry I had to spell it out for the dumb fucks.

        • dball31211
          Lauren Flattery
          April 23, 2020 at 2:26 pm

          So not stuck at home since mid March with kids or anyone else that can’t go out and work. Lol got it.

    • Fauci to Gitmo
      April 23, 2020 at 12:43 pm

      If the government told you to cut your arms off would you do that to? You fucking idiot, staying inside will not magically make the virus go away dummy. Line up for your microchip and labotomy you slave.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      April 23, 2020 at 2:32 pm

      There was an article in the Economist the other day where one of the worlds top epidemiologists said staying in was the worst thing we can do. I don’t recall his name but he said community immunity or herd immunity would be the solution. Of course we would have to protect the sick and elderly but we should be out together getting exposed and building a resistance to it.Your best chance to get sick is at home.The article also said that the Imperial college study which everyone went off of for virus spread/ death numbers was not vetted by other scientists before it was released. If it had been the numbers they put out would have been proven wrong. I’d prefer to listen to this expert than charlie fakah,marty the drunk walsh or that fool fauci aka chicken little

  • David Fentherty
    April 23, 2020 at 11:55 am

    Colleen needs to get out for a round of golf. I could help her game, and all of her cares and worries would disappear into a warm fog.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    April 23, 2020 at 11:53 am

    Those basketball courts need to be destroyed! Those children need to be ripped from their families and placed in DCF custody! Those parents need to be incarcerated! #Were All In This Together.

  • Judge dread
    April 23, 2020 at 11:53 am

    This cunt is how East Germany and USSR flourished with their authoritarian brutal rule on the people. Snitches Karen’s, permit patty’s, bbq beckys

    These pieces of dog shit hate a,Erica and they hate you. They are more dangerous than the military or police. We are living in a soft martial law culture now and they are the ones packing heat! No our friends in the army or police dept.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      April 23, 2020 at 12:01 pm

      What did poor Erica ever do to them?

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        April 23, 2020 at 12:30 pm

  • Boston Irish
    Dapper O’Neil
    April 23, 2020 at 11:50 am

    Geez what an asshole

  • Nick Manning
    April 23, 2020 at 11:49 am

    I’d glue those big eyes shut with huge ropes of baby batter after I wrecked her chili ring. Droppin’ loads!!!!

  • Kris20
    April 23, 2020 at 11:41 am

    Yikes, the first pic of her alone…I already know what we are dealing with.

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron