With all the tension from the election people needed some fuckery to rally around and bring us all together, and they got just that in the least likely place ever – The Brockton Hub. It began with a simply plea from this woman:

She goes by Kitty Johnson, and as you can see she was runner up for Miss Brockton Fair five years straight.

Kitty wasn’t happy that her husband had gone astray, so naturally she did the only thing a reasonable person in he position could do – asked strangers on the Brockton Hub to tell Jorts Floyd to come home and get a piece of that sweet Brockton pie.

Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Yup, sorry to break the bad news to you Kitty, but this guy is knee deep in junkie Brockton pussy right now and he’s paying them in food stamps.

However, in a surprise turn of events no one saw coming she then alleged that Jorts Floyd was actually going to poundtown with a man named Greg Glass, who she alleged was a “dirty ass bitch thinking he is more than a woman than the real woman in Brockton,” and who allegedly performs sexual acts upon other men in exchange for crack.

However, none of this has been confirmed and Greg Glass appears to be dapper church folk.

Kitty eventually deleted her page so we never found out if he came home, but her boo’s alleged baby momma named “Shy-town” did show up in the comments to clear up any confusion.

So it turns out they’re only “Kate Peter married,” not real married. In reality Kitty was just side pussy that broke up this fairy tale Brockton couple.

After getting called out for being a melanin magnet home wrecker Kitty Cornrows disappeared off the face of the earth and a search party has been put together to find her.

If you’ve seen her please have her reach out to us so we can get her on the live show this weekend.

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