Klepto ButtBooger Steals A 12 Year Old’s Phone And Warwick PD Posts An LOL Worthy Recap Of It

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Warwick PD has joined the cool kids club and posted a humorous narrative today about this Starbucks coffee skank who swiped a 12 year old’s phone after it was mistakenly left at the counter.

The fact that you can actually order a concoction even remotely similar to that is the reason I can’t handle Starbucks. Give me my Dunks coffee, which I don’t even care is fucked up 98.9% of the time, and I’ll be on my way. These frappes that look like glittery Unicorn turds in a cup? No thank you.

Adidas. I had a shirt like that too. In middle school.

Here’s the car trash flaps left in. The red sedan.


Who steals a kid’s phone? You know how hard that kid probably worked for that thing? At least I hope. I know mine is going to have to clean a lot of bathrooms and empty a ridiculous amount of dishwasher loads before getting a smartphone.

Anyways, stealing shit from kids is the low of the low. Give it to the barista if the kid has already trampled off. Nope. This soulless garbage panda deliberately puts her own phone over it and walks out with an innocent 12 year old’s phone.

Who would’ve thought Target has cameras? Only everyone. This one should be easily identifiable, at least by her questionable 90’s fashion choices. If you know who she is, drop us a message!


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11 Comment(s)
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  • Mongo Shepard
    August 2, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    And here you can see the suspect pulling out of the parking lot. Notice the driver side of the car scrape and spark along the ground as this wildebeest sips on her Starbucks cup filled with chocolate syrup and cream.

  • whatevuh
    August 2, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    Well, she’s Latino , so . . . .

    • LHYT8747
      August 5, 2017 at 7:40 am

      Really? What does that have to do with anything?

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    August 2, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    What moron these days steals an IPhone? Do they not realize the default for tracking is on, and the PoPo’s will know, to within three feet, where she is as soon as it is reported missing?

    Get ready for the knock on the door!

  • Stunt Penis
    August 2, 2017 at 1:15 pm

    Target may have cameras, but rest assured the cameras will not be anywhere near the women’s restroom, where 40 year old male perverts who “self-identify” as “wimmyn” can express their “gender fluidity” as they watch your 12 year old daughter go to the bathroom.

  • Baron von Douchebag
    August 2, 2017 at 12:29 pm

    100% promise you this trash bag used an EBT card. Notice she didn’t buy anything at Target, just the coffee. No Starbucks corporate store takes EBT, but at Target, purchases at an in-store Starbucks counter are considered grocery items: they take EBT.

    All they need to do is look through receipts +/- a few minutes of the theft and look for the halfwit that used her EBT card. Nobody in the world goes into a Target just to go to the Starbucks counter, unless they have to pay with an EBT. Case solved.

    • Dal90
      August 2, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      >All they need to do is look through receipts +/- a few minutes of the
      >theft and look for the halfwit that used her EBT card.

      Stolen iPhones can buy an awful lot of EBT cards. Just sayin’

      • Wabbitt
        August 2, 2017 at 1:39 pm

        Look on Facebook for a lardass selling an iPhone one day and buying food stamps the next. There’s our girl!

    • McDonald's coffee girl all day
      August 2, 2017 at 4:19 pm

      Target may take food stamp but I can promise you with 110% certainty that the Starbucks does not under no circumstances take EBT no matter if it’s in store or not

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