Hoodrat Heroes

Lawrence Ghettopoon Selling Xanax On Facebook, But Act Quick Because Multiple Hoodrats Have Put In Offers

Lawrence Ghettopoon Selling Xanax On Facebook, But Act Quick Because Multiple Hoodrats Have Put In Offers

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Anyone looking for Xanax? I know a chick in Lawrence that can hook you up:

She goes by Ashley Elizabeth on Facebook. Not sure what her real name is but I’m sure we’ll find out shortly after this blog is published. She’s a selfie queen:

Who reps one of the most amazing ratchtacular flat brimmed hats I’ve ever seen:

You know you’re an official junior hoodrat if you own a flat brimmed hat with your area code on it.

And of course no ratchet collection would be complete without the dunce cap of champions:

Bonus points if you’re wearing a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat while ripping a Newport 100 and doing your hair like Pocahontas.

She immediately was taken up on her offer by Rachel Ferguson:

Does this look like the kind of chick who will buy your Xanax on Facebook?

That was a rhetorical question. If I saw this woman out in public I’d just assume that I could sell all my surplus zanny bars to her. Oh, and she’s a Mom too. So that’s good. She better hopes she gets it all before Gabriel Delossantos gets ahold of her first:

Does this look like a man who couldn’t use a few extra zannies?

It’s 2017 and he’s still wearing cargo pants. You don’t wear cargo pants in 2017 unless you’re planning on putting zanny bars in them.

Ashley’s boy Zeke thought it would be a good time to start selling some of his product too:

Shocking that this brilliant thinker from Lynn would be a drug dealer:

Don’t worry though, he’s also reproduced a few times, and has some lovely family pictures from the DCF visitation room.

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter if she’s selling drugs on Facebook, because the only thing that really matters is that she stands up against racism!

And has mastered the art of the dog filter:

And she might be a drug dealer, but the last thing she’d ever do is “fight over a n word”:

Her man is the one thing she don’t share. Her xanax on the other hand is a different story.

 

 

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8 Comment(s)

  • Article writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with then you can write if not it is difficult to write.

  • Talent Evaluator
    August 23, 2017 at 8:23 am

    This is a definite no. Pure ghetto trash. Hopefully her vagina is sterile

  • Lawtown Killah
    August 22, 2017 at 6:01 pm

    Ashley Gaznick-Heafey.. is this Ghettopoon’s name.

    Pretty sure Daddy Dunks and Uncle Ron Ron hit it too!!

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    August 22, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Can we all spell P.O.S. ??

  • Poo
    August 22, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Canine Carry Outs ad right under the dog selfies. Perfect. Someone feed this bitch.

  • They call me Ponch
    August 22, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    How is this not tracked?

    So anyone can sell prescription drugs in the open?

    Whatever.

    (*Dunce Cap of Champions- nice!)

  • Stokley Carmichael
    August 22, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    You’re not black.
    Act white.

    • SNCC
      August 22, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      Thought you were dead.

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