Lawsuit Of The Day: Human Door Knocker Suing For “Putting Her Name On The Internet” By Questioning Obvious Lie About Chick Fil-A Food Poisoning
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Yesterday we published this blog about a Worcester woman who claimed that her boyfriend suffered from food poisoning as a result of eating tainted meat at the new Chick Fil-A on Gold Star Boulevard. We pointed out many inconsistencies in her story, including her claim that the “gray” meat her boyfriend ate was sitting in her trash at home, only for her to later say that her boyfriend reordered food at Chick Fil-A. If this is true that means she brought the gray meat back home with her after realizing it was bad and put it in her trash. She didn’t give it back to them or throw it in the trash there. She took spoiled meat home with her. Definitely. Naturally she didn’t have a picture of it but she still welcomed people to come over her house in order to inspect it themselves.
When we factored in that no one else seemed to get food poisoning, which would seemingly be impossible, we came to the conclusion that this chick was an attention seeking liar. Just our opinion.
At least we thought it was our opinion. Turns out it’s actually deformation of character and we’ve got yet another Turtleboy lawsuit coming our way……
“You literally put my name on the Internet.”
Yup, by screenshotting something she wrote on Facebook using her real name, it was TURTLEBOY who put her name on the Internet. Not her. Then we “created slander,” a type of SPOKEN defamation that she is obviously VERY familiar with.
But it’s too late – she’s already lawyered up:
Oh man, court is gonna be so much fun!! I love Internet court!! Gives us a chance to defend our undefeated streak!! Just do me a favor Angelica – when you come to court can you please wear your dog ears?
If you do that we will have no choice but to settle for millions.
Then we pulled the ol’ switcheroo on her:
Anyone but Vulva!!! That guy’s gonna take his tainted meat and pound us into oblivion!!
Anyway Angelica, we still think you’re lying. Actually, we know you are. Your story just isn’t the least bit believable. Sometimes you fuck up, write dumb shit on the Internet, and Turtleboy blogs about it. When you do that you have two options – move on with your life, or Internet lawsuit. If you choose the latter it almost guarantees that you will be featured in a round 2 followup. It’s just too entertaining not to share.