Have a tip for a story? Email us at [email protected]
Follow us on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow us on Instagram by clicking here.
Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever Facebook page to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
A gun store in Hyannis is causing a lot of buzz down the Cape because they’re sponsoring a coyote hunting contest:
Let me just say this – coyotes can go straight to hell. I feel the same way I do about them as I do about sharks – they need to stay away from humans completely. Failure to do so should be a death sentence. I don’t care how majestic they are or what their role is in the food chain. It’s a big world and animals like this need to go to Yellowstone or some other protected area where they can hunt turkeys and squirrels till the cows come home.
And don’t give me any bullshit about us invading on their land. Bitch, we are humans. We’re #1. We’re smarter and more advanced than every other species. This is how Darwinism works. If they were as crafty as us they’d kill us all too.
Coyotes have no business being on Cape Cod. The Cape is an island. These idiots decided to swim across the channel because they ran out of pets to eat in Plymouth. Therefore coyotes have no natural predators and can pretty much do whatever they want. And because it’s an island they’re gonna run out of prey to hunt so they’re gonna start eating your cats and dogs. It’s happening all over Massachusetts. My dog matters more than some stupid coyote. Get them the hell out of here. They’re disgusting, vile creatures that can’t live amongst us.
Anyway, Powderhorn Outfitter’s contest is getting SJWs all hot and bothered because they’re posting pictures like this:
Boo-hoo. The only good coyote is a dead coyote. The outrage patrol disagrees with our assessment and is out in full force:
I hope all these people’s cats and dogs get eaten by coyotes. If not then their first born children. It would be so perfect.
These people are insane:
Coyotes are our brothers? My brothers don’t eat my cats. I don’t want to coexist with them. I want them gone. Period.
OK then Suzan, please, give up your house to a family of starving coyotes. After all, they were here first. Oh right, you’re not gonna do that because you enjoy the fruits and long term benefits of imperialism and westward expansion too much to make any sort of sacrifices.
This woman seems normal:
A hyphenated last name. Shocking. She brings up a great point though – there’s no difference between killing and skinning a coyote and killing and skinning a human being. That is a well thought out and rational point that should be taken seriously.
Anyway, thanks hunters for all that you do. It’s not pretty to look at, but ultimately you do what is necessary to keep the rest of us safe from these predators. Good looks!