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Legendary Newton North Runner Chris Barnicle Ran The Olympic Marathon Trials High As A Kite And Set A New Record For Slowest Trial Ever

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Last week we blogged about Doherty graduate Tim Ritchie who was competing in the Olympic Marathon Trials in Los Angeles. Tim led the race through 13 miles, but ended up succumbing to the 70 degree heat and faded into 25th place with a final time of 2:22. Nevertheless, his accomplishments stand alone when it comes to local runners.

But when Tim was in high school he was not the state’s top runner. Not even close. That honor belonged to a kid from Newton North High School named Chris Barnicle, whose father is the one of Kevin Lynch’s least favorite people – Mike Barnicle.

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Chris still holds the Massachusetts state record in the 2 mile of 8:50, which he ran as a junior. As a senior he went unchallenged and even lapped the entire field in the State Championship, in a race that included Tim Ritchie:

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Fast forward to this past Saturday and Barnicle and Ritchie raced again. This time it was a 26.2 mile race, and once again it wasn’t very close. Ritchie beat him by over an hour. But it’s not stopping Chris Barnicle from holding a world title of his own – World’s fastest stoner.

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Ya see, Chris Barnicle was one of the 105 runners who competed in the Olympic trials last weekend, and he finished dead last in 3:45:34, walking parts of the course. He was only eligible because he ran a 1:04 half marathon in 2013, back when he was in shape. The only reason he put himself through this is because he lives in LA and apparently he had nothing else to do that day.

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It was the slowest time in the history of the Olympic trials. But do you think Chris cared? Nope. Because he was high:

Did you eat any edible marijuana the morning of the Trials?

[Long pause]

No comment.

I worked really hard to make it to the finish line and to get my name in the results. I would hate for USATF to be able to change that to a DQ.

That’s because Chris smokes weed pretty much every day, as he has since he was dominating at Newton North High School. As a runner at the University of Arkansas he continued to do what he does best – smoke weed and then smoke slower runners. His biggest obstacle wasn’t 80 mile weeks or mid term exams, it was passing drug tests. Yet he figured out a way to fool the piss man during his stay in Arkansas.

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Today he owns his own cannabis business and advocates that more runners should smoke weed. And ya know what – he’s right. College athletes get drunk all the time, it’s no secret. But yet they don’t lose their scholarships if they fail a random breathalyzer. What would you rather your athletes do on the weekends? Get wasted and make some really bad decisions, or get high and and make some really bad food? Plus, these guys are burning thousands of calories a day in workouts. I feel like they should be taking anything that makes them wanna eat more. Michael Phelps smokes weed. Usain Bolt smokes weed. Because losers don’t smoke weed, champions do.

This interview kind of sums up what he’s all about:

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Earlier in 2015 he won San Francisco’s first annual Weed Run. Wasn’t easy though:

“I threw up a lot. I’m finally able to take down water. I got a couple blisters, but I’m still pretty high, so I’m pretty good,” Barnicle said after collecting his prize, $500 worth of home-delivered medical marijuana.

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 Amazing.

Look, I don’t think we should be telling high school kids to smoke weed. They’re not old enough to handle it. The stoner kids in high school never did very well in class and they all ended up selling shoes at Foot Locker after eeking out a high school diploma. But once you’re already in college and you’re clearly on the right track, who cares? Dude got high and ran a marathon. Case closed.

 

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Tattoos Massachusetts

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5 Comment(s)
  • WestTatnuckGangsta
    February 21, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    Still ran smarter than Ritchie, who just wanted to get some attention rather than run a well-paced race. Isn’t that guy in love with Jesus or something? I’m with Barnicle. Run with weed rather than Jesus if you don’t know how to just run on hard work.

  • Dave
    February 20, 2016 at 10:19 am

    As a runner/stoner that was a couple years behind Barnicel in high school, this makes me proud. And if you see me running on the streets of Worcester, chances are I’m real baked.

  • Jake from State Farm
    February 19, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    Dad must be proud of him

  • Jafreese
    February 19, 2016 at 6:11 am

    Weedies – The breakfast of champions

  • Eric
    February 18, 2016 at 11:08 pm

    Guess the runners high wasn’t enough for him.

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