The stupid is strong in this Jabba the Butt(erball)
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One of our big stories this week was the pit bull mauling in Lowell that unfortunately claimed the life of a 7-year-old boy. I’ve caught a lot of flak for my take on it and on the Porkachu whose baby cannon he was shot out of, but I still love you guys and I’m back here doin’ the damn thing for you.
Any time there is a tragedy of this magnitude, it seems everyone wants action NOW! OMG someone was shot? Ban guns! Pedestrian hit? Autonomous cars and 15 MPH citywide speed limits will prevent it! Grandma has a stroke after her daily McFish? Sue the pants off of Ronald McDonald himself.
Kneejerk reactions don’t work. Politicians in Lowell took to their
soap ammo boxes in the aftermath of the tragedy with renewed calls for banning pit bulls outright in the Grand Dump that is Lowell.
So, naturally, the hoodboogers who seem to own a disproportionate majority of these (generally) gentle beasts came out of the woodwork like an army of cockroaches out from under their refrigerators once it’s lights out in the kitchen to defend their honor and start a worthless online petition to ‘deliver’ to the Gubnah’s office.
One such petition was penned by local Orcabetty Amanda Milinazzo
“Today I saw on the news that the city of Lowell is trying to put a ban on a breed I had my whole life, a Pit Bull. I understand what had happened was a tragedy but it could of been prevented. It’s not right for one man’s actions to be taken out on everyone else. I don’t know all the details to the story, but I do know that my Pit Bull and every other Pit Bull I have come across does nothing but give so much love to everyone around. The breed has been misunderstood for years now and it’s all because of the one man’s stupid actions. That stereotype of all Pit Bulls are aggressive comes from people who don’t understand or have never met a Pit Bulls. Pit Bulls are not mean by nature, any dog can be taught to fight and be aggressive. I have been attacked by a German Shepherd, do I think all those dogs should be banned? Absolutely not, I would never want to make a family get rid of their family member, because after all.. A dog is apart of someone’s family just as much as anyone else is.. So please help save the Pit Bulls in the city of Lowell!
This petition will be delivered to:
I understand what had happened was a tragedy but it could of been prevented.”
It’s not right for one man’s actions to be taken out on everyone else.”
“I don’t know all the details to the story, but I do know that my Pit Bull and every other Pit Bull I have come across does nothing but give so much love to everyone around.”
The breed has been misunderstood for years now and it’s all because of the one man’s stupidactions.”
What’s that, space cadet? Who is the man that led to pit bulls being misunderstood and maligned “for years now?” You do understand that the oldest breed ban in the US dates back to 1987, right? And as far as I know, that one didn’t stem from a man’s stupid actions, but hey, who the hell am I? I’m sure you’re waaaay more qualified to speak on this because of all the pit bulls you’ve owned in your 26 years on his planet, and the hundreds of thousands you’ve met throughout the course of your life.
“That stereotype of all Pit Bulls are aggressive comes from people who don’t understand or have never met a Pit
Having been charged at by a pit bull myself, and having a background with animals, I can assure you – they can be aggressive, and I’ve met a fuckton of them. There are, however, very distinct types of aggression, and one doesn’t always equate with another.
“Pit Bulls are not mean by nature, any dog can be taught to fight and be aggressive.”
notthe same thing as being aggressive toward humans. Can it be construed as “mean?” You bet your turtley ass. This animal-aggressive trait was selected, bred for, and exploited in certain lines, from the dawn of time until present day. Can these things be managed? Absolutely. Can they be loved or trained out? No way, no how. You are stupid and don’t understand dogs, most especially not pit bulls, if you think this way. Nurture cannot outweigh nature, and if you think it can, I suggest you do some research because my lazy fupa is not gonna do the legwork for you.
In a most surprising turn of events, this chinpleton has managed to amass more than 40,000 virtual signatures on her petition, likely from people who have never heard of, nor been to Lowell, and probably have never even been to Taxachusetts. Armchair activism is dangerous, folks, especially when you don’t even bother to understand the cause it is you’re attaching your name to.
See, in 2012, good ol’ Deval made it law in Massachusetts that individual cities/towns/municipalities cannot enact their own forms of breed-specific legislation. You can read more about that here, or by clicking the photo below, courtesy of the MSPCA-Angell:
So this whole Change.org petition…? Orcabetty is just pulling a “LOOK AT ME! I DID A THING!” so she’ll have something to talk about at parties instead of explaining how she went from an almost Jr. Smokeshow
to Ms. Piggy’s doppleganger
in a few short years.
Guess that’s just what Lowell does to you.