There are Massholes, and then there is Michael Bergin, the man from the viral sun fish video, who just so happens to be the most magnificent Masshole in world history.
Everyone’s been talking about this viral video of the most Boston bro you will ever see as he reacts to seeing a sunfish:
“That’s a big fucking wheel kid!!!”
Of course this guy’s from Malden. It was either there or Medford. Those are easily the two cities with the highest concentration of Massholes per square inch in the whole state. They call it a Boston accent, but it’s really a Malden accent. And this guy is so magnificently Malden it hurts.
This man has perfected the accent like we’ve never seen before. We ignore r’s at the end of the words and add imaginary r’s where they don’t exist. I can’t tell you how happy I am that he thought it was a gigantic, “floundahhhhh” but then changed his mind and said, “Jay, that’s a tun-er bro.” It was a work of artistic Massholery, the likes of which we’ve never seen before.
And obviously we love this guy. He’s the perfect example of why Massachusetts, despite all it’s problems, is easily the greatest place to live in America. Find me a part of the country where you’ll find people this entertaining. You can’t. Give me a Masshole with a wicked bad accent any day of the week over some dooshnozzle Guido from Jersey.
His name is Michael Bergin, and he is exactly how I pictured him:
Glorious. Goes on MSNBA and wears the most bad ass chain over his Harley Davidson camouflage long sleeve. No fucks given whatsoever. He’s like every guy I grew up listening to at Fenway Park before they turned it into a pink hat, Sweet Caroline, family friendly, brick selling, overpriced suckfest.
I’ll tell you who’s none too pleased about this – the Pope. This was his big day and he was upstaged by some guy from Malden who went fishing.
P.S. This guy’s nuts if he’s not selling t-shirts and making money bank off of this. Dude, your video was seen 1.2 million times. If you can get 0.1% of those people to buy a, “What the fuck is that thing?” shirt you can make a quick ten G’s. We need more people like this fucking guy riding the turtle.