Hoodrat Heroes

Malden Man From The Viral Sun Fish Video Is The Greatest Masshole These Eyes Have Ever Seen

There are Massholes, and then there is Michael Bergin, the man from the viral sun fish video, who just so happens to be the most magnificent Masshole in world history. 

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Everyone’s been talking about this viral video of the most Boston bro you will ever see as he reacts to seeing a sunfish:

“That’s a big fucking wheel kid!!!”

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Of course this guy’s from Malden. It was either there or Medford. Those are easily the two cities with the highest concentration of Massholes per square inch in the whole state. They call it a Boston accent, but it’s really a Malden accent. And this guy is so magnificently Malden it hurts.

This man has perfected the accent like we’ve never seen before. We ignore r’s at the end of the words and add imaginary r’s where they don’t exist. I can’t tell you how happy I am that he thought it was a gigantic, “floundahhhhh” but then changed his mind and said, “Jay, that’s a tun-er bro.” It was a work of artistic Massholery, the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

And obviously we love this guy. He’s the perfect example of why Massachusetts, despite all it’s problems, is easily the greatest place to live in America. Find me a part of the country where you’ll find people this entertaining. You can’t. Give me a Masshole with a wicked bad accent any day of the week over some dooshnozzle Guido from Jersey.

His name is Michael Bergin, and he is exactly how I pictured him:

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Glorious. Goes on MSNBA and wears the most bad ass chain over his Harley Davidson camouflage long sleeve. No fucks given whatsoever. He’s like every guy I grew up listening to at Fenway Park before they turned it into a pink hat, Sweet Caroline, family friendly, brick selling, overpriced suckfest.

I’ll tell you who’s none too pleased about this – the Pope. This was his big day and he was upstaged by some guy from Malden who went fishing.

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P.S. This guy’s nuts if he’s not selling t-shirts and making money bank off of this. Dude, your video was seen 1.2 million times. If you can get 0.1% of those people to buy a, “What the fuck is that thing?” shirt you can make a quick ten G’s. We need more people like this fucking guy riding the turtle.

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15 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    September 28, 2015 at 6:25 am

    Contact him, partner up and pay a royalty on the T-shirt to him.

  • Strata
    September 27, 2015 at 8:02 am

    I believe they knew along what it is. I believe the did this video trying to gather attention. I believe they were successful. We live in a society where a lot folks scream for attention because they never received enough and feel irrelevant.

    • A Guy
      September 27, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      Either way, it looks like he succeeded in gathering the attention he was seeking.

  • Isthisforreal
    September 25, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Pine street is possible but what I do know is he has spent some time in jail. He is not a good guy and the only reason he ended up doing time was because the other times he got caught he ratted so he got off. He’s an asshole!

  • Wtf
    September 25, 2015 at 5:57 am

    The best part is that Jay actually calls the Coast Guard. You can hear him in the background. How did that conversation go?

    • rambo
      September 25, 2015 at 9:27 pm

      I thought that part was the best part too…. you really called coast guard for a fish???? WTF

  • Wheelwright
    September 24, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Let’s dig up mumbles Menino. The two of them would make a great Democrat Presidential ticket!

  • MacGyrl
    September 24, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    And this is going viral, world wide of course. Making US citizens look more and more like idiots every day. He’s just a small percent of the US population and that of MA. It’s sad, funny has hell, but sad.

  • Deb Mc
    September 24, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Bro your killing me.

  • Maggie the Cat
    September 24, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    I think it’s kind of sweet that he’s sort of concerned about the creature’s health. I mean, he wants to call the Aquarium or the Coast Guard to save it…at least before he thinks he can sell it for cash.

    Then again, don’t we all know people like this guy? Just one of the wonderful things about Massachusetts.

  • Kev
    September 24, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    This kid is a perfect example of how people from mass are morons!

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      September 24, 2015 at 1:41 pm

      And you’re a perfect example of how people from the rest of the country are judgmental cocksockets.

    • rambo
      September 25, 2015 at 9:23 pm

      Where u from? New york? Jersey shore? Why is EVERYONE from mass a moron? …u must be an asshole YOUR SELF

    • mack4966
      September 27, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      Have you any idea how totally ignorant a general statement like that sounds to people? It is hardly ture that every person in any state is a moron. What you have said, however, certainly brands you as one.

  • mack4966
    September 24, 2015 at 10:04 am

    I have a friend who claims this guy was in a bunk next to him at the Pine Street Inn for a number of years.

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