All-Star Criminals

Everett Oxygoblin Steals Donation Bin From Malden Burger King Parking Lot Intended To Support Local Schools, Forgets That It Won’t Fit In His Car, Drives Off With It Anyway

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All-Star Criminals

Malden Meat Pirate Arrested In Boston Police Station For Stealing Purse After Being Released For Shoplifting Arrest Is Looking For OCs On Facebook And Wants You To Know About Her Hep-C Appointment

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All-Star Criminals

Eye Witnesses: Muff Daddy Made Up The Malden Dockside Hate Crime, Threw A Shot Glass At A Dude’s Head, Then Started A Fight And Muff Buffer Told The Cops She’s Not Really A Lezzy

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Hoodrat Heroes

Turns Out The Malden Muff Buffer Gay Hate Crime Victim Is An International Drug Mule Who Started The Fight And Might Not Even Be Dating Her “Girlfriend” Who Is Possibly A Hooker

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