Hoodrat Heroes

Turns Out The Malden Muff Buffer Gay Hate Crime Victim Is An International Drug Mule Who Started The Fight And Might Not Even Be Dating Her “Girlfriend” Who Is Possibly A Hooker

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Yesterday we shared this blog about the latest fake hate crime involving the LGBT community in Malden:

The Muff Buffer and her Muff Daddy were just sitting at the bar, minding their own business, being hot lezzies, when all of a sudden Homophobotron started mercilessly beating on one of them. Not both. Just one. Muff Daddy came out completely unscathed magically.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and indoor

Cash money!! By the way, as a turtle rider pointed out, she’s wearing a Floyd Maymeather TMT hat. The guy who invented violence against women and homophobia. She down for the cause y’all!!

Then there’s the fact that Muff Buffer has a past history of getting into drunken brawls and getting arrested on warrants.

HUGE coincidence that she was once again involved in a bar fight.

Here’s what we’ve learned in the last 24 hours:

  • There’s tape of the incident.
  • The cops initially intended on arresting the alleged perpetrator but after viewing the tape they did nothing. Likely because Muff Daddy started the whole thing.
  • There’s rumors that she had a knife.
  • The Muff Buffer may or may not be a heterosexual hooker. Maybe.

So yea, the whole thing was a lie. And in the process the Muff Buffer allowed a mob to attack a business with fraudulent reviews after she told everyone that they allowed the beating to happen.

Yet the business stood by her afterwards and told the media that she is a regular and valued customer. Nice to see her paying them back in kind.

Our inbox has been blowing up like a ratchet GoFundMe. Here’s some of the tips turtle riders have sent us about this, particularly about Muff Daddy.

One emailer alleged that she’s had more than one DUI, restraining orders, might be juicing, she possibly started the fight but left unscathed because she couldn’t be there when the cops came because she’s not allowed to drink, the Muff Buffer isn’t really her girlfriend, and even hinted that Muff Daddy might be responsible for the injuries that Muff Buffer sustained.

But once again, these are allegations. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation Muff Daddy can give to explain why only one of them has bruises, and why despite video surveillance no one was arrested.

For what it’s worth, the Muff Buffer Kelly Gonyer does not have a SINGLE picture of the two of them together. In anything. It’s almost as if they’re not really dating.

Sounded a lot like this comment:

Muff Buffer’s story made zero sense. Random guys don’t just beat up lezzies at the bar. This is a progressive state. Tons of scissoring and pillow biting going on around here and no one’s trying to hide it anymore. If this guy’s “thing” was kicking the shit out of every gay couple he sees do you understand how busy he would be? He’d have to kick the shit out of 10-12 people a night. And God forbid if Boston gets a WNBA franchise. All bets would be off.

But the theories these emailers are sending us are actually plausible. Muff Daddy has a crazy long record and a propensity for booze-fueled violent benders. You tell me what happened.

Here’s another emailer who alleged that she drinks too much, was possibly doing this as a lawsuit scam, her girlfriend isn’t really a lesbian (called it) and the tile union she’s in can’t stand her:

A commenter said that the police have investigated and determined that Muff Daddy started the whole thing:

Oh, and did we mention that Muff Daddy is a drug mule?

Oops!! Note to self – the next time I traffic drugs across the country, have an explanation for why I’m in Tuscon so as not to arouse suspicion.

Muff Daddy issued a press release yesterday, announcing that the guy who attacked her and her boo was just jealous of the hot carpet dusting she was getting later that night, he wasn’t arrested because the vicious beating he inflicted was a “simple assault,” and she wanted him arrested because when straight women call the cops the guy always gets arrested:

Now she’s playing up the whole “Love is love” thing, even though she has never been a really outspoken part of the LGBT community. And they seem more offended by her lies than anyone. Probably because she’s appropriating victimhood.

You may have noticed that a couple messages mentioned Tila Tequila. Yea, she tried out for the reality TV show “A shot at love” and this was her demo tape:

Unfortunately she did not find love, which is why she’s now hanging out with a straight woman who may or may not be a hooker, starting fights at the bar, and then possibly running before the cops get there because she’s on probation from her past as an international drug mule.

Don’t tell WHDH. Let them keep reporting fake news. As long as we’re the only media outlet in this town that actually cares about the truth we’ll never go out of business.

6 Comment(s)
  • foo manchew
    June 11, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    I’m shocked at this information. SHOCKED I tell you.

  • Rochambeau
    June 9, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon & Tomato.

  • TJB
    June 9, 2018 at 1:56 am

    Militant, insane, alcoholic lesbian woman beater jumps in da’ ambalamb to avoid the cops, leaving behind her ‘date’ who she beat to a pulp. Its not L, G, B of T. This one gets an “A”. For ASSHOLE.

  • SMH
    June 9, 2018 at 12:31 am

    Using aliases for people in TBS stories makes following the stories harder. It’s funny the first or maybe second time, but gets old. Maybe you could title the butch one with Ms. or Ms. and the femme one with Miss. followed by their real names.

    • Wabbitt
      June 9, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      Good job being too stupid to follow along. It’s blogs about ratchets acting like fools – not War and Peace.

    • whinycunt
      June 10, 2018 at 5:40 pm

      Hey whine tit, That’s what repeatedly cracks me up,
      Whinetit. Please. Remove. Stick. From. Your. Ass. Whinetit!

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