Hoodrat Heroes

Malden Splooge Rag Threatens To Commit Suicide By Cop, Then Sells Food Stamps On Facebook 2 Days Later

 

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We haven’t done an episode of Food Stamp Friday in a while, but we got a ratchet surprise in the inbox today and it was too good not to share. This is Charlie Hayes from Malden.

And he’s looking to get unload $200 worth of EBT in exchange for $100 cash.

Wicked smart doing that on Facebook. No one sees anything on Facebook.

Why does this able bodied man get at least $200 a month in food stamps? Well, Massachusetts would be the answer I suppose. Because in this state we just throw free shit at you if you’ve got that “disease” that makes you do the junkie dance and steal your mother’s ATM card.

Seems kind of sad and depressing right? Like you almost might feel bad for him? Don’t. He does these “I’m such a loser, I’m gonna kill myself unless someone tells me how great I am” posts all the time for attention.

One suicide post. Everyone knows the rules. (TM)

You can’t post all the time about wanting to kill yourself. First of all, it’s a downer. No one wants to read that if you’re not gonna do it in the next five minutes. Secondly, after the second or third time you post about it and you’re still alive, it’s just not gonna play the way you want it to play. People are gonna be sitting at home like….

Come on bruh, we waiting.

Him and his slam swine girlfriend Amanda from Revere have frequent public breakups, followed shortly thereafter by the “we’ve been through so many ups and downs in the 3 months you’ve been fucking me rawdog, and posted every cringeworthy detail on social media, but this only made us stronger” post.

This poundtown panda doesn’t know how to take a picture that doesn’t incorporate dog filter, duckface, or both.

She’s also go the “disease,” which sure didn’t stop her from reproducing or getting free healthcare.

Your “poor baby” would be a lot better if she got a Mom for Christmas who didn’t bring home EBT-Rex’s like Charlie Hayes.

Based on his track record, this is definitely the kind of guy you want around kids.

For sure.

Oh, and just two days before announcing he had food stamps for sale he promised the world that he was going to commit suicide by cop (for those of you unfamiliar, it means threaten the lives of police officers, forcing them to shoot you in the process).

But as usual, he didn’t do shit.

It was just yet another sad, pathetic attempt to get pity from his Facebook roster that failed miserably. And with most things in life, following through on his promises isn’t as easy as making the promises.

Good thing our tax dollars go to maggots like this though. Money well spent.

To report this food stamp abuse, click here

 

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23 Comment(s)
  • Mayor McCheese
    June 8, 2019 at 11:25 am

    Ahhhhh, Malden
    The city that has brought us such people as the Boston Strangler and Kevin Cullen. Now it’s downtown area looks like the Queensbridge projects in Queens
    The crackheads,, heroin junkies and lingering stink of human piss and marijuana emanating from passing cars blasting rap music. Where it takes 45 minutes to drive three blocks. Such a lovely city
    Right?

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    June 8, 2019 at 9:47 am

    Reported. I’m sick of supporting these ratchet Fucks. Get a job shitstain!

  • Piece Of Trash
    June 8, 2019 at 1:07 am

    Im surprised you yourself have not been arrested for deformation of character or something more serious. But you will and when you do i hope you get butt fucked and get to cry rape and someone does a story on that you piece of dog shit. I wonder why u hide behind this was ur mom a drunk crack addict was ur daddy raping you as a kid lmfao. We all have issues who the fuck are you to judge anyone when im sure u got skeletons in your closet or maybe ur ugly and alone so u gotta make yourself feel better hmmmm makes you wonder

    • Bret
      June 8, 2019 at 6:54 am

      Awwwww, did your pussy get sore little girl?
      Lmmfaooo
      Shut your cockbox bitchboy

    • whatevuh
      June 8, 2019 at 6:58 am

      My white privilege allows me to judge you, now sit down, and shut up

      • Bitch Ass
        June 8, 2019 at 10:05 am

        White privileged lmfao aint no1 privileged in this country sweetheart you gotta do shit like this to get any type of action lol pathetic excuse of a human

  • You people
    June 8, 2019 at 12:39 am

    You ppl have nothing better to do why dont you get a real job and maybe post about how pathetic you are and cant get one lmfao. You out the wrong ppl why dont u go look for some real news for once

    • Yo Yo Yo
      June 8, 2019 at 12:56 am

      What do you mean you people?

      I’ve always wanted to say that

    • The angry taint
      June 8, 2019 at 12:52 pm

      hey dummy, food stamp fraud is a crime worthy of being called out for. how does your friend collect food stamps? he looks pretty fucking able-bodied to me. crying on FB like a little bitch. All hard working people are tired of supporting shitheads like you and your asshole buddy. #stopinterferingwithdarwinism

  • Cousin Eddie
    June 7, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    Malden is the gift that keeps on giving Clarke

  • Whiny Charlie
    June 7, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    Just take a bath with a toaster and be done with it !
    Jesus !
    Stop whining and just do it.
    PS: Nobody cares.

  • Judge dread
    June 7, 2019 at 9:00 pm

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

    This able bodied strong “tough guy” man makes gravel excavators obsolete. 12 months of hard labor making big rocks into small rocks. Perfect for the real roads or driveways, or for garden walk ways.

    Fuck the Americans that outsource gravel making to China only to reimport it. We need the locals to participate.

    While I’m on a roll, force him to walk barefoot during the summer months wearing yoga pants that are wayyyy to small. Deprive him of his Jordan’s. Let the abc123’s have their way with him.

  • Chuck
    June 7, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Got the look for sure. That’s a Fed offense too, but I doubt if they will prosecute. Seems that way!

  • mice elf
    June 7, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    it is kind of amazing that he hasn’t offed himself. why wouldn’t he? serious question. asking for a friend..

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    June 7, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    If at first you don’t succeed….see this is where it ends because he’s a worthless parasite who will never be successful at anything then piss and moan about how it’s everyone else’s fault. Fuck this guy. Go into your section 8 apartment, spike yourself and be done with it. If I could go back in time and kill someone it wouldn’t be Hitler it’d be the guy who invented Narcan

    • Heil Trump
      June 8, 2019 at 6:51 am

      Completely agree, I love Hitler too. Leave Hitler alone!

  • whatevuh
    June 7, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    One of the easiest ways to off yourself is to put in your ear buds, crank up the music, and take a stroll down the railroad tracks . . . just trying to help out

  • Law
    June 7, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    Every screen shot is blank. Wtf

  • What happen to the bobnmic troll with the gay porn avatars
    June 7, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    I’m not reading this shit. But I do hope he jump in front of my bumper so I can save someone some brass.

    • hate dindus
      June 8, 2019 at 6:49 am

      Love killing blacks.

  • Y
    June 7, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    He thought Murphy’s Law was Newton’s Law. Haha.

    • Murph
      June 7, 2019 at 5:42 pm

      I was coming here to say this! Thanks, Y!

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