Commuters in Malden were in for treated to a show today when a confused African-American man in his birthday suit decided to go surfing on a random car of his choice.
Dude in the red car knew it was bad news ever since he saw Kimbo Lice walking down the middle of the street with his jurassic pork hanging out.
He tried to pull a u-turn and get the hell out of there.
But by that point it was too late. The rest was destiny.
After he got on top he did a little fentanyl floss before realizing that inertia was about to give him a date with the pavement.
Why the driver didn’t just gun it was beyond me. If you have a naked 250 pound man on the roof of your car I think you’re entitled to drive away, although that could get ugly if you go too fast and it turned into black lives splatter.
After the car started moving Bernie Crack sat his ass down and got some sun as the shell shocked driver slowly attempted to drive out of there without killing him.
Just another Tuesday afternoon in Malden.
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