All-Star Criminals

Eye Witnesses: Muff Daddy Made Up The Malden Dockside Hate Crime, Threw A Shot Glass At A Dude’s Head, Then Started A Fight And Muff Buffer Told The Cops She’s Not Really A Lezzy

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What’s up turtle riders? We got another update on the Malden Muff Buffer and her Muff Daddy who claimed to the victims of an anti-LGBT hate crime last week:

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and indoor

Turns out Muff Daddy is an international drug mule with a serious drinking problem who is currently on probation from her latest DUI. She’s also a roid head who has a past history of starting drunken bar fights.

Her “girlfriend” the Muff Buffer isn’t a lesbian either, which should’ve been plainly obvious because all of her pictures on Facebook are by herself or with dudes.

I’m not a lezzy either, but I might make an exception for her. Hot damn!

So what started the whole thing? Well, we’ve gotten two emails from turtle riders who were actually in Dockside restaurant when the show went down. Here’s what witness #1 had to say:

Weird. The Muff Buffer forgot to mention the fact that Muff Daddy threw a shotglass at a dude.

Witness #2 sent us a more detailed email but asked that we don’t screenshot what she told us because it would give away their identity. Instead they asked us to sum it up ourselves. So here’s what witness #2 told me:

  • Words between the dude and Muff Daddy were exchanged from across the bad
  • The beef they were arguing over had NOTHING to do with them being lezzies, because the Muff Buffer is not a lezzy
  • Muff Daddy picked up a shot glass, but not a regular shot glass, and threw it at the guy’s head from across the bar. It was heavier than normal shot glasses because it had a really thick bottom.
  • The shot glass shattered when it hit the floor, but it missed him.
  • He might’ve called her “dyke” because he was understandably furious that this beefalope just threw a shot glass at his head.
  • Muff Daddy got up in his face screaming and making a scene.
  • Muff Buffer initially tried to drag her back to their table but ended up cussing the dude out first.
  • The staff then calls the cops since they won’t cut the shit.
  • The guy’s friend’s attempt to get him out of there since he’s pissed off and yelling shit at them.
  • He’s almost out the door when Muff Daddy gets out of the seat and storms towards him ready to fight.
  • Muff Daddy is well known to fight guys (because she’s a juice monkey) and proudly brags that she can “fight like a dude.”
  • When she approaches and hits him he hits her back and it turns into a rowdy down.
  • A bunch of people try to break it up, including Muff Buffer, and she gets hit by one of them. It’s not clear from the tape whose fist actually struck her though.
  • Muff Daddy is described as “clearly the aggressor” when the police looked at the tape.
  • Muff Buffer told the cops she’s not a lezzy.
  • Muff Daddy is not supposed to be drinking due to her previous DUI, which is why she jumped in the ambulance despite not having serious injuries.

So there you have it. Similar stories from two eye witnesses who saw the whole thing. See that? That’s what’s called, “journalism.” Unlike WHDH which only spoke to the Muff Buffer and Muff Daddy, didn’t do any background research, and assumed this insanely unbelievable tale was 100% true.

Just to be clear, WHDH reported the following lies:

  1. They’re not “both gay.”
  2. They weren’t “attacked.” They started a fight.
  3. They weren’t “attacked because they’re gay” because only one of them is gay, plus it’s 2018 in Massachusetts.
  4. They never kissed, because Muff Buffer isn’t a lezzy.
  5. The gay slurs were a reaction to a shot glass being thrown at a dude’s head.

This is what idiots do when they see real news from Turtleboy:

“Logic is ignorant.”

“Stop quoting Turtleboy.”

Translation – the truth Turtleboy continuously reports disrupts the false narrative I’m trying to push. I’m smart!!

When others began to point out the glaring problems with their story they always had an excuse:

Oh good, you know them from high school. Therefore they’re incapable of lying. Sound logic if I’ve ever heard of it.

6 Comment(s)
  • Turtz McGurtz
    June 12, 2018 at 3:21 pm

    That’s liberalism 101 for you. Don’t let the facts get in the way of your discrimination/victim promoting narrative.

    Melissa Sheehan: “if its fake why was a police report made……”
    Um, ….. because the police were called.

  • foo manchew
    June 12, 2018 at 11:50 am

    Should’ve thrown a hatchet at her that then mysteriously disappears, or gotten some ginger white supremacists to kidnap and hold her for ransom. That stuff seems to work well for others.

  • TJB
    June 12, 2018 at 10:37 am

    Jeez TB, with the new pic, i can understand why she is a rug muncher. That bitch is super ugly. In fact, she would be an ugly Man. I have seen better looking women at the zoo.

  • deflatteddoritodinks
    June 12, 2018 at 9:12 am

    I be attackin’ gay people cause I’m homphobic…not really. Just don’t go to bars, and everything will be fine.

  • RickSalamander
    June 12, 2018 at 4:12 am

    The Michelle chick has got to be juicing, her heads the same configuration as a medicine ball! My god, scale back on the HGH momma-sun before that cranial repository explodes and messes up your carpet.
    The common sense trap, where folks want to empathize on her FB thread, but no one ackowledges they had the guy handcuffed, took statements, watched video, AND CUT HIM LOOSE! Yo, yes, that’s what the
    police do after a dude hate bashes homosexuals after lighting them up in front of a large crowd. Boy, they must have just been unlucky. Common sense, the dying trait of today’s America.

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