Hoodrat Heroes

The Malden Muff Buffer Fought Another Guy At A Peabody Bar, Blamed Him For Sending Turtleboy Information On Her Pretending To Be Victim Of A Hate Crime


Who remembers these “love birds?

Those would be the Malden Muff Buffer and her Muff Daddy, who last June went on the news and lied about being the victims of a homophobic hate crime. The one on the right is international drug mule Michelle Hart,  an actual lesbian. The one one on the left is Kelly Gonyer, a local slam donkey who pretended to be a lezzy in order to gain sympathy for being the victim of a hate crime in order to cover for the fact that Muff Daddy threw a shot glass at some dude’s head.


Well, these two were eliminated in the first round of Ratchet Madness, which seems to have triggered their Turtle Derangement Syndrome, because the Muff Buffer started a fight at a Chinese Restaurant in Peabody over the blog from last June:

If the font is too small to read I’ll break it down for you:

  • Muff Buffer accuses dude named Jamal Randolph of sending a “fake story” to Turtleboy Sports
  • Argument breaks out, Muff Buffer claims that Randolph punches her, then she punched him in defense
  • Randolph says that she was posting noodz of him on Facebook, and that she punched him multiple times when he confronted her
  • Both agree that punches were thrown and a door was broken in the process
  • No one got arrested because the restaurant didn’t feel like wasting their time pursuing charges against two ratchets
  • Muff Buffer is banned from the restaurant now, but Randolph isn’t, which indicates that she was the aggressor

It’s literally the same exactly thing that happened in Malden. These skanks go around starting fights with dudes and then act surprised when they get popped in self defense.

And Kelly, I’m sure you’re reading this, so I wanted to let you know that Jamal Randolph dindu nuffin. We didn’t need to get the story from him or anyone else. Ya know, because you guys ran to the news!!! You specifically sought out the media to portray yourselves as victims, and as you can see when you Google your name, they fell for it:

Because they are fake news.

We are real news. We look into stories that don’t pass the smell test and expose lying trashbags like you and Muff Daddy. We do simple searches for Google trophies and find cabinets full of them with people like you.

Maybe instead of blaming other people for the collection of failures you call life you should just stop picking fights with dudes and posting noodz on Facebook. We generally don’t blog about people who keep to themselves, don’t break the law, and don’t lie about being the victims of hate crimes. Just sayin.


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20 Comment(s)
  • Joe mama
    April 26, 2019 at 10:51 pm


  • TJB
    April 25, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    She / it looks like a constipated Kim-jong-oun.

  • Michael Johnson
    True justice
    April 24, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    Let me guess who they didn’t vote for? Maga 2020

  • I hit that
    April 24, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    I did this bitch on the front seat of a Ford F250, she was out cold it was more like scrumping. wicked flabby tits and makeup galore. Not sure whose truck it was. Washington Street Peabody, Ma august 2018

    • Joe Biden My Time
      April 24, 2019 at 10:33 pm

      Sooooooo you raped her. And admitted to it on here. Nice job

  • hank
    April 24, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Punching back on women who pick fights with men usually doesn’t end well for the guy. That’s why you implement the no handed counter; a solid cunt punt to the moon. Sorts things out real quick.

    that is all

  • Spic Basher
    April 24, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    The fat one looks like her face is filled with jelly

  • Turtle Rider
    April 24, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    The scent of fresh rank bowel movement smeared on a liberal slut! Give us this day our daily rape!

  • Well, No Shit
    April 24, 2019 at 11:23 am

    Does anyone in Mass still actually give enough of a shit about someone’s preference to cause a scene? I realize that I live close to the Gay Mecca that is NoHo, but no one that I know, or any of my friends know, could possibly give less of flying fuck about gay couples having a drink.

    Methinks this is not what it is being made out to be. You don’t get a pass on being a fucking asshole, just because you like ‘fucking assholes’.

  • z
    April 24, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Do they hit the bars and restaurants primed to cause trouble or does it just build up?

    Most people can go through life and not get into a shit-fest every time they are out and about.

    I think most of us can be allowed though not excused to have it happen once and to learn what triggers people or what triggers you. If it happens a lot, you aren’t doing it (life) right.

  • Farmer Joe
    April 24, 2019 at 11:06 am

    whenever I smack up the old lady and leave her with black and blues like that I blame it on the horses getting rowdy in the stables, not on hate crimes.

  • Peppermint Patty
    April 24, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Marcy got angry after we broke up. I got sick of the “sir” shit all the time.

  • These Scumbags Are All Gross
    April 24, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Butchy carpet munchers , skanky mud sharks, a Jamal in the mix – this is like “Failure Bingo”. Still fairly young, and yet none of the losers in this story will ever rise above a pointless life of chaos, legal entanglements, poverty and squalor. Let’s all laugh at and mock these dizzy, public assistance draining, hapless weaklings while their ancestors weep in disgrace.

    • The Name Game
      April 25, 2019 at 1:52 pm

      “Failure Bingo”: love it! (Reminds me of Bullshit Bingo we used to play during meetings at my tech company; even had an Excel sheet that randomly populated the squares with the BS phrase.) We should develop a Ratchet (or Failure) Bingo for turtle rider entertainment! This Kelly Gonorrhea would fit into a category!

  • Bill Clinton
    April 24, 2019 at 11:01 am

    Who is the hot looking broad with the giant knockers, asking for a friend.

  • Franklin Washington
    April 24, 2019 at 10:55 am

    I’m tired of whining lesbians
    Nobody cares about who’s pussy you eat or what you do with your life. It’s a tiring as hearing racism from the race baiters

  • Malden Is A Shithole
    April 24, 2019 at 10:45 am

    Malden Maldoons in action.

    • Former Maldonian
      April 24, 2019 at 11:40 am

      It really is. What a dirty nasty city Malden is. You can’t drive down the street without hitting a massive pothole. The entire city is filled with rude third world imports who can’t drive or even cross the street without causing an accident
      It used to have a bunch of good bars now it’s all Chinese restaurants

  • Dick GoZinya
    April 24, 2019 at 10:28 am

    She was a looker once. Tragic waste of good pussy…

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 24, 2019 at 10:04 am

    Ratchet as fuck.

    But I’d still slip her the red-nosed robber.

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