Hoodrat Heroes

Manchester Mutton Gobbler Crashes Car After “Falling Asleep” On Highway, Previous Arrest For Heroin, Boyfriend Is Woman Beating Psycho Currently In Jail For Assaulting Her 


So this happened on the Everett Turnpike in Merrimack, NH last week and I never had a chance to blog about it:

Broad daylight (10 AM) and Colby Rezk fell asleep behind the wheel on the highway? Yea, that’s normal. So is the fact that Colby was arrested just a couple years ago for heroin possession. But I’m sure she was “sleeping” and not nodding off.

And she really surrounds herself with quality people. For instance, this is her boyfriend (who she calls a husband) Ronald Cross:

Ronnie can’t comment right now because he’s in jail briefly for being a woman beating animal:

Katie Schelzel is on the floor of her Manchester apartment, being hit repeatedly by an on-again, off-again boyfriend. The beating lasts so long that her assailant – Ronald Cross – has to take a break to catch his breath, she later tells police. 

“It’s like a car accident. It happens really fast, but everything seems to slow down,” Schelzel recounted. “I thought ‘is this how I’m going to die?’”

March 23, 2018: Prosecutors and Cross’ lawyer reach a plea deal. He pleads guilty to a misdemeanor domestic assault and avoids jail. But he has a suspended sentence, meaning he has to stay out of trouble for five years; if he gets arrested for anything, he will have to go to jail for a year. Schelzel agrees to it.

“I wasn’t happy about it, but my goal was to protect the next woman,” Schelzel said. “I knew this wasn’t going to stop.”

March 14, 2019: That suspended sentence isn’t followed when Cross accepts a plea bargain stemming from a standoff eight days earlier with a Manchester police SWAT team. He pleads nolo contendre to resisting arrest, a domestic violence charge is dropped and he is sent to Valley Street jail for 40 days.

“I find it outrageous that this (suspended sentence) was overlooked,” Schelzel said. “I’d like to know what they’re going to do to follow best practices going forward.

“These cases are so difficult, so tricky, so tied up in emotions,” Ranfos said. He said the SWAT team standoff stemmed from the mother of Cross’ girlfriend, who called police to complain that Cross had beat her daughter.

Cross ran into his apartment when police showed up and threatened to kill himself. The SWAT team eventually breached a barricade and arrested Cross. Ranfos said the four-month sentence was agreed to during a bail hearing in the District Court. Ranfos said there were several considerations. Cross’ girlfriend wouldn’t press charges, so Ranfos didn’t want to force a possible victim to testify against her wishes. The only other charge he had to bring was resisting arrest, and he might not get a guilty verdict at trial.

Cross’ girlfriend initially spoke to me but then said she did not want her name used. She denied that Cross hit her. Police reports from the Schelzel attack said she had a small laceration on her right cheek and an extremely red face. The hospital told police she suffered a mild concussion.

So basically this guy beat the shit out of his girlfriend and got a suspended sentence. If he got arrested again he’d go to jail. Before a year had elapsed he was again arrested for beating the shit out of his new girlfriend, except instead of turning himself in he barricaded himself inside his house and made the SWAT team play hide and go seek with him.

But he didn’t go to jail for the suspended sentence because he committed the crime in another county.  That’s how the law works in New Hampshire. You’re allowed to break the law and not go to jail so long as you do it in a different county than your most recent arrest. And you can also kick the shit out of your girlfriend and as long as she’s too owned by you mentally to testify against you in court it’s just kind of business as usual. Live free or die? More like live free AND die.

People in the comments section of the car crash figured out pretty quickly who these people were.

Then the woman he abused in 2018 showed up.

Meanwhile in the comments section, look who showed up.

Oh right. “Vertigo.” She continued….

A blown eardrum and a sinus infection caused her equilibrium to be off balance and she fell asleep and crashed her car. Also, she “dozed off” several times while driving prior to the crash, and instead of pulling over she just blasted the AC. She was about to pull over to take a “power nap” like she usually does when this happens, but she never made it that far.

Only God can judge y’all:

She’s “proud” of her past of riding dirty with heroin, sucking down the bologna baton of a guy who beats the shit out of her when she gets out line, and harassing the previous victim of her “husband’s” domestic violence.

And of course this battered woman feels the need to shit on other battered women.

But it’s OK because “mistakes happen.”

Meanwhile she’s posting on her microdicked chudstuffer’s Facebook page like she can’t live without him while he’s locked up.

“Sooner than we know it this will all be a memory.”

Spoiler alert – he’s not done beating the shit out you. Just because he posts on Facebook about how you deserve a medal for putting up with his bullshit, and vows “on some REAL shit” to make you the “proudest and most happiest woman on earth,” and uses 100 emojis to prove his point, doesn’t mean he’s actually going to.

Oh, and the woman beater is in a fine position to call other people disgusting sex offenders.

But please, tell me more about how she fell asleep behind the wheel while on her way home from “work.” I’m not buying it.


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33 Comment(s)
  • IGoogledYourDumbAss
    April 21, 2019 at 9:28 am

    I like that she told me to look up what vertigo is… Well, here you go…

    Vertigo symptoms include:

    Balance problems and lightheadedness
    A sense of motion sickness
    Nausea and vomiting
    A feeling of fullness in the ear

    It’s funny, I don’t see passing out or drowsiness in any of those symptoms… Go shoot up some more… or are you waiting for your lovely woman-beating dickhead to get out of jail first?

  • Astonished Anthony
    April 18, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    I wasn’t prepared for that substantial caboose – man, what a trickster!

  • William H. Macy
    April 18, 2019 at 10:21 am

    I do believe it’s harder to get thrown in jail around here than to get accepted to USC.

  • Bill Clinton
    April 18, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I’d fuck that till my cock was a little raw nub

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 18, 2019 at 7:23 am

    To reduce your IQ by 50%, simply put on a flat-brimmed baseball hat.

    To reduce your IQ by 90%, simply turn it to face backwards.


  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    April 17, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    naaah kehd i was just resting my eyes i’m doin guhd. definitely would and i can’t decide if her bf/husband? (who fucking cares) is the banjo kid from deliverance all grown up or was playing air head bumper heads on the train in that commercial. Y hook me up…lol. Oh shit, i almost forgot happy bithday leigha! buy me a drink and we can show each other our birthday suits? c’mon i know you”re curious.

    • The angry taint
      The angry taint
      April 17, 2019 at 11:00 pm


    • Christopher Lettiere
      April 18, 2019 at 9:57 am

    • You know exactly who I am
      January 18, 2021 at 8:19 pm

      Oh if people really really only knew about these two low lives. And I’m being nice about it

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    April 17, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    Ban Narcan. That is the only hope for normal people.

    • Hart Ford
      April 18, 2019 at 6:48 am

      Totally agree. Ban Narcan. We are wasting an evolutionary moment to self-thin the herd. Let the weak and stupid jump off the cliff like lemmings.

  • Detective Thorne
    April 17, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    Articles like this make me wish that Soylent Green was a reality. Just simply exterminate repeat offenders and make them Government subsidized food and issue that for meals,cancel EBT

  • Cunt Evaluator
    April 17, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    She’s got a pretty face, quite the chubster which i could overlook. Would. Im actually somewhat inclined to believe her story, Ive been sick and exhausted behind the wheel, equivalent to driving after 20+beers. If she’s on the junk, its gotta be quite recent because i haven’t seen any fat junkies. Maytbe she’s trying to lose weight before the summer?!

  • Y
    April 17, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    Most of her pics portray her as a smoke-show, but the pic in the mirror (with dildo baggins) says otherwise.
    Is Ronnie a chubby chaser?

    • Harry Meanwell
      April 18, 2019 at 4:48 am

      he’s a chubby chase her down and beat her.

  • Big Wick
    April 17, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Ronnie Cross. Hopefully it won’t be another assault; if so, with luck someone will defend themselves with extreme prejudice.

  • Harry Richard
    April 17, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    I’d fuck the dope sweats outta that broad while Turtlegranny watches and shames her lil’ boy.

  • Mr.? Gabe Murchison
    April 17, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    I wonder if she could take all 8′ of my new black strapon. Yes, Dad, a man has needs, even if he was your little girl, once

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 17, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    Geez….another chick with daddy issues and the ‘disease’

  • WeRFucked
    April 17, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    Randall Gay… have you ever heard of “odds?”

    Odds are… she was high.

    Hey Ronnie… you think Colby is keeping dry down “there” while you’re away? As the hot piece she is, my guess is she has plenty of fill-ins if needed. If she pretends to be super horny and needing to get fucked badly when you get out… maybe she’s covering up her guilt of using a stand-in while you were away?

    Nah… she’s faithful. Or is she?

  • Well, No Shit
    April 17, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    If you’re over the age of twelve, and still wearing your hat backwards like that, you’re a douchebag and/or a lowlife. No question about it.

    • Christopher Lettiere
      April 17, 2019 at 4:54 pm


    • The Name Game
      April 17, 2019 at 5:40 pm

      Yep. Doesn’t help him that he tries to benignly smile with the Roy Rogers/Jeremy Renner look. The selfie makes ol’ Colby “Cheese” Wreck look kinda beefy. She’d better be careful, lest she make Ronnie Cross cross.

  • Peter Dautel
    Don Key Punch
    April 17, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Darwin would be proud….

  • Street rat
    April 17, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    He needs that big ass nose of his broken. Maybe with Randall Guys teeny peen….oh wait. Nope it’s too small to do any damage.

  • Said Nobody
    April 17, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Quality people right there

  • vic aye carumba
    April 17, 2019 at 4:41 pm

    Would. Probably best when she is asleep since she can’t talk back…

  • Well, No Shit
    April 17, 2019 at 4:38 pm


    Yeah, would.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    April 17, 2019 at 4:36 pm

    Regardless of what she did 2 years ago, the post states the State Police concluded she fell asleep.

    But yeah, I’ll go with your extensive-accident-investigation-from-internet-pictures expertise on this one.

    • Randy Bo Bandy
      April 17, 2019 at 6:37 pm

      You post on every article, and on every article, you’re wrong.

      Break down and cry about it already, faggot.

    • Sandy Ocasio
      April 17, 2019 at 7:49 pm

      fuck off randall you stupid cocksucker

    • Hart Ford
      April 18, 2019 at 6:53 am

      People don’t fall asleep on the highway mid morning from natural causes moron. Staties took a pass. Addicts not worth the effort.

    • Masshole
      April 19, 2019 at 7:32 am

      Randall Guy,

      They likely didn’t charge her with DUI because they didn’t have proof she was under the influence at the time so all they could get her with was negligent driving. It’s not like they had time to run a sobriety test or investigate if she’s being brought to the hospital by ambulance. Sadly, I have family members who have driven while high on heroin and methadone and crashed due to it and they couldn’t be charged because their wasn’t enough evidence and they denied it.

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