Imagine a 12-2 football team with the greatest quarterback and coach in NFL history added a 6’3″ 225 pound receiver with great hands, great route running, and great blocking ability?
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Bad news for the rest of the league – the best team in football picked up a 6’3″, 225 pound veteran receiver in his prime. His name is Michael Floyd, and he destroys people:
— New England Patriots (@patriotsfanpage) January 1, 2017
Boom!! Right in the kisser!!! I could watch that Vine a million times and never get sick of it. I mean, we were 12-2 and murdering everyone before we got this guy. Then he fell in our laps and we gave up nothing to get him. It’s simply unfathomable to think that God doesn’t love Patriots fans more.
Get used to Michael Floyd too. He’s not going anywhere. This might be the greatest in season acquisition of all time. Yea, I know it’s only a couple of plays, but the guy is clearly a perfect fit here. We don’t have big receivers. We have small white guys. And they’re good and they serve a purpose. But they can’t do the things Michael Floyd can do with his body.
Oh yea, and he’s only 27. This is going to be Brady’s new binky until he retires. Just keep him away from the Blarney. Because Brady has had binkies his entire career. For the first 5-6 years it was Troy Brown. For the next 5-6 years it was Wes Welker. For the last 4-5 yeas it’s been Julian Edelman. Once these guys round 32 he trades them in for a new binky. Floyd is that guy. He’s got great hands, runs great routes, and blocks like a tight end.
You almost have to wonder, did Bill Belichick mickey his drink and force him to get in that car, knowing that he’d be arrested in one of the most legendary drunk driving videos of all time, and then summarily cut by the Cardinals?
Wouldn’t put it past him. Is Michael Floyd a functioning alcoholic? Clearly. But playing in Foxboro is the most effective detox money can buy. Decapitating fools to spring small white guys for touchdowns will always fix whatever ails you.
But seriously, how blessed are we to be Patriots fans? Back in the day when Gronk went down we were fucked. Not anymore. They’ve built an entire team based on the premise that Gronk will get hurt. They can with him or without him. They clearly learned their lessons from years past. Obviously it’s easier with him, but when you have guys like Marty Bennett, Chris Hogan, Dion Lewis, James White, Malcolm Mitchell, and Floyd ready to take his place, instead of the likes of Matthew Slater, Matthew Mulligan, and Hoo-Man, it becomes a lot easier to keep winning.
I refuse to say we’re going to make the Super Bowl, never mind win it. I won’t be that guy who jinxes this. But we haven’t been this dominant since ought seven. The difference is that this team is more well rounded and complete than that freak show offense. They allowed the least amount of points in the league and it wasn’t even close (Patriots 250, Giants 284). They scored more points than anyone in the AFC and finished 3rd in the NFL in points scored. They have the greatest coach and quarterback of all time, both of whom seem to be getting better with age. I’m getting moist just thinking about it.
Oh yea, and they’ve never, ever had a path to the Super Bowl this easy. The Steelers will beat the Dolphins, which means we’re gonna get the winner of the Tom Savage Texans and the Connor Cook Raiders. If the Steelers somehow get upset we’d get the Matt Moore Dolphins. Think about that. One of those three chumps has to come to New England in the winter and beat the most complete team in football who just came off a week’s worth of rest. Slaughter.
After that we get our 6th straight trip to the AFC Championship game where we’ll host Kansas City or Pittsburgh? I refuse to say we’ll win that game because we’ve gotta stay humble. When we get too cocky we lose. But obviously we’re going to at least get there. So who do we want?
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