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The Lawrence PD often posts stuff like this about missing children on social media:

And this:

And because it’s Lawrence the comments are often in two languages – Spanish, and Ratchetese:

In the post above, one of the “missing” teens was Jianelis Alvarado. And as you can see, she’s really going place in life:

Like East Lawrence. And South Lawrence. And maybe even Lowell if she can scrounge up some gas money.

Her missing person post was shared hundreds of times, and many who did share it received this message from the “missing” teen afterwards:

“Stop sharing herb ass pictures of me.”

I’m just happy to see that kids are still using the word “herb” as an insult. Makes me feel young again.

Here she is in the black getting into gland to gland combat with another Junior first of the month queen while “missing.”

Finna cash deez hands!!

Ya see this missing kid stuff a lot. Obviously I’m in favor of helping to find missing children. But I think we need to differentiate between missing, and running off to smoke blunts and mix the baby batter. Happens all the time. People always send us this stuff and our answer is always the same – she’s just tryna get her swerve on. She’s not kidnapped. She wasn’t taken against her will. She just wanted to have raw, unprotected sex with a free lunch king pursuing a Youtube rap career. When a kid who is actually missing (like Molly Bish) we need to know that they’re not just going out for stuffed crust pizza.