Hoodrat Heroes

Momma Tuna Train Looking For Overnight Baby Sitters On Westfield Community Facebook Page Because “Even Qualified Babysitters Can Still Rape Your Kids” 


Public Service Announcement: Finding strangers to babysit your crotch fruits on a community Facebook page.


Not her first rodeo either.

Sadly it had to be explained to her why this was not the most well thought idea ever posted on the Internet.

Yea smart guy – what’s the difference between a regulated, orderly website, and a complete free for all on Facebook? Your kids are getting raped either way according to Mom.

Fuck it.

“I mean, they can be qualified and still rape your kids.”

Need that on a t-shirt.

Obviously this individual is well suited to be rearing human beings.

She’d ask her baby daddy to stick around and watch her kids but, ya know…..

That would require getting knocked up by someone with a job.

I think we all know how that fairy tale ends – with a whole bunch of unpaid child support and a guy named Gary who the kids affectionately call “weekend Dad.” Don’t worry though, he’ll still creep into your DMs when when the ho’s aren’t doing their fair share.

Ironically earlier in the day she elected to share the tragic story of a brother who killed his sister.

While the baby sitter was there……

I think we both know which on you’ll be picking Samantha.

Clarence responded to the ad but sadly the post was pulled down. If we end up getting the gig we’re having a part in Westfield though. Hopefully no kids will get raped in this Facebook babysitting gig, but as they say in the old country….



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42 Comment(s)
  • WeRFucked
    March 10, 2019 at 10:00 am

    Anyone who refers to the mother/father of their child as BM or BD is ratchet. Case closed.

    Great spelling and grammar skills. Did you graduate high school? if so… it doesn’t speak well for your Alma mater. I’m going go out on a limb here and assume you often use the N word too.

    Sam, thank you for ruining this country by having multiple babies by different fathers and having no support system in place. I’m sure your children will grow up to be productive members of society, unlike yourself.

    Actually… no they won’t.

  • Jared from subway
    March 10, 2019 at 5:37 am

    I can do overnights and I’ll bring the foot longs.

  • Junior Soprano
    March 9, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    Just think. Her vote counts the same as anyone of ours. Let that sink in.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Lena Dunham
    March 8, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    I can teach your daughters.

  • Karma Bus
    Just call Bob Kraft he pays well
    March 8, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Love the comments saying this article is “week” (spell it right dumb dumb, WEAK) and trying to defend this broad. Just looking at the shit the girl posts is enough for me to know she ain’t tryna get an overnight sitter so she can work. She’s doing it to go out and find some black weiners. FACKS.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Kevin Spacey
    March 8, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    Willing to babysit teenage boys.

  • Bored stiff
    March 8, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    I’m not sure she is really being irresponsible here. I think a thorough background check and reference checking can be done by the parent themselves.
    That being said this girl is most definitely a rachet but this story is lame!
    No story here just a rachety-ass mom who is apparently attempting to do right by her kids and get by. She obviously has terrible judgement when it comes to men that is apparent but again, no story there.
    These seems more like personal harassment than an article.
    Don’t get me wrong here, this chick is classless but most likely a product of her environment.
    I don’t think she deserves to be tb’d over this.
    The article is poorly organized and hard to follow. Extreme overreaching for a story that just doesn’t seem to be there! I could no doubt find something far more interesting to write about on facebook in minutes.
    These are the types of stories that discredit the enterprise and open the door for sjw outrage. *Eye roll* why give them any material though?
    Uncle turtleboy, Bristol, wherefor art thou?

  • Mac Pimp
    March 8, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Samantha – you can do in-calls and solve two problems in one. You can be earning money laying on your back while your kids are in the next room and save on babysitting fees….
    Just keep the Glock handy

  • Einstein
    March 8, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    One of the worst things about being a moron with no common sense has to be not knowing you’re one, everyone laughing at how fucking dumb you are behind your back all the time while you sit there thinking you know what’s up.

  • Captain Trips
    Robert Ben Rhoades
    March 8, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    I can take you for a ride in the back of my semi. I can cut your hair nice and short and dye your hair black and buy you a wonderful black dress and black high heel shoes.

    Wanna ride?

  • Captain Trips
    Richard Ramirez
    March 8, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    Satan commands that you and I go on a date

  • Captain Trips
    Rodney Alcala
    March 8, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    Didn’t I see you on the Dating Game?

    Would you like your picture taken?

  • Captain Trips
    Jeffrey Dahmer
    March 8, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    I’m an excellent cook if you like a good meal

  • Captain Trips
    Dean Arnold Corll (The Candyman)
    March 8, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    I can babysit your young boy. If he misbehaves I have a board I can strap him to for a little bit

  • Jerry Seinfeld
    March 8, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    That has got to be the gayest looking Glock ever made. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that…

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Harvey Weinstein
    March 8, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    I can babysit. I will provide plenty of entertainment.

  • Anthony Weiner
    March 8, 2019 at 1:59 pm

    I can send a few selfies if you need verification.

  • Captain Trips
    Guido the Killer Pimp
    March 8, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    I’m up for it. You like Glocks and cocks. Awesome!

    We can lock your kids in the car trunk and go inside and play.

    You’re Italian American. I speak Italian. I can talk dirty to you in Italian while I re-stuff your stuffed pepper hole.

    Do you want another fatherless kid? Hit me up!

  • WMTG deserves a weiner for this one
    March 8, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    This is an incredibly week article. Western Mass Turtle Girl should go to time out for this one. So what, she is an overly protective mother. So what, she is a single-mother, plenty of them to go around. At least she needs the help, so she can GO TO WORK! TBS criticizes those that are too lazy to work, now we’re going to do the same, because someone gets to picky on who they leave their kids with. Can’t make fun of asking on FB, but she is also making it pretty apparent whoever does watch her kids, will be under the highest of scrutiny. Non-story. Long time turtle, first time caller.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Mary Kay Letourneau
    March 8, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    Do you have any middle school-aged boys? I may be available.

    • Captain Trips
      Ted Bundy
      March 8, 2019 at 1:56 pm

      What are you people? Sick? Middle school boys? Scummy men? Please….

      Samantha, let me know when you are outside. I’ll club you in the head from behind with my tire iron, just to say hello.

      Then I’ll take you in my ’73 beige Volkswagen bug to a secluded cabin I have, we’ll fuck, I’ll strangle you to death, we’ll fuck some more, then I’ll leave your corpse in a nice wooded spot near the beach, and I’ll get washed up, changed, and go to my Republican Party meeting. However, I do promise to come visit and snuggle your corpse for weeks to come afterwards.

      Doesn’t that sound nice? Forget the others. They don’t care. They don’t snuggle. Give me a call!

  • ElJefe72
    Aileen Wuornos
    March 8, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    I’m available. If any scummy men get close to the kids, I know how to get rid of them.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Andrea Yates
    March 8, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    I’m available. Baths a specialty.

  • Ted Bundy
    March 8, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    Do they enjoy play dates to Chuck E. Cheeses?

  • itsjustme
    Casey Anthony
    March 8, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    I’ll babysit, good with kids, know how to get them to sleep easily.

  • R Kelly
    March 8, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    I’m about to be cleared of all charges. Do they like music ?

  • John Wayne Gacy
    March 8, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    We can play in my basement

    Probably safer than being in that dirty whores apartment. She also looks like she has hairy nipples

  • Ghetto whore
    March 8, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    Her kids are niglets. No baby daddy around as usual.

  • Bud
    March 8, 2019 at 11:48 am

    Textbook example of the total destruction of the family unit, brought to you courtesy of the Democrat Party of America.

    • Y
      March 8, 2019 at 12:53 pm

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Slick Willie
    March 8, 2019 at 11:20 am

    I am available tonight. I”m currently staying at my good friend Jeffrey Epstein’s island, but I can hop on the Lolita Express, and be there in a matter of hours.

  • The angry taint
    Noah Webster
    March 8, 2019 at 11:13 am

    For fucks sake I’m willing to donate my fine leather bound books to any of these cretins.

  • I See Dumb People
    I see Dumb people
    March 8, 2019 at 11:04 am

    People never cease to amaze me with thier stupidity

  • Jared Fogle
    March 8, 2019 at 10:55 am

    I’ll bring fresh healthy subs for snacks. Eat fresh.

  • Siskel
    March 8, 2019 at 10:50 am

    Duck lips, check! Eyebrows, check. We have liftoff. Liftoff of the ratchetship to hell….

    • Big Wick
      March 8, 2019 at 11:36 am

      Don’t forget the tongue and cleavage. Only things missing are tit tat’s and gang gestures. A paragon of motherhood, for sure!

  • Francis Sidebottom
    March 8, 2019 at 10:41 am

    Another posting that goes under gossiping house wife uncle turtle turd needs attention in order to get funds

    • Fran'sAss Sidepiecebottom
      March 8, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Hey, Francis, just GFY and STFU. You’re not even funny.

    • Drew LebLanc
      March 8, 2019 at 11:45 am

      Drew, go re-live your days as a high school baseball player somewhere else. You’re clearly pretty dense, not witty, and just a drag to even read comments from.

  • Mike Jackson
    March 8, 2019 at 10:16 am

    I’m available.
    Sleepovers are my specialty….

    • Bob Kelly
      March 8, 2019 at 10:18 am


      pick me!!!

      • Anthony Weiner
        March 8, 2019 at 11:20 am

        I just got off “vacation” in Devens. I am respectable, ex-congressman, one time candidate for NYC mayor, available

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