I saw this video on Twitter today and nearly shit my pants laughing, so I hope you enjoy it as much as i do.
Our story starts with this woman:
Jessie Bennett from Belmont. She’s a politically active woman who recently ran for town selectman and blamed low voter turnout when she lost. She’s also a member of the LGBT community, and this is her “wife,” Harvard professor/poet Stephanie Burt.
In other words, this appears to be two heterosexual people of opposite sexes, one of whom is now wearing a wig. Saying that this is a LGBT coupe is like saying you’re in a mixed race marriage with Rachel Dolezal.
As you can imagine, these two are big activists and Jessie’s car is covered in SJW bumper stickers. You’ll never guess what kind of vehicle she drives.
A Subaru. What were the odds?
Well, evidently this upset a 37 year National Grid employee, who I’m told is named Joe Brion. And since Joe is probably creeping up on retirement age he’s completely run out of fucks to give. For that reason Joe decided to get white girl wasted, park his National Grid van outside of their house, and honk the horn incessantly while blasting Rush Limbaugh. You simply must watch this video.
I cannot stop laughing at that. I just can’t. The whole scenario is awesome. This is the face of a man who has never, ever, ever changed the channel from Fox News.
That is the face of every guy who’s ever been cut off at the legion post, ever. That’s the guy who looks at you like you have three heads when you ask him for his email address. That’s the guy who starts or ends 90% of his sentences with, “ya know.” I mean, he sat outside of this woman’s house blasting Rush freaking Limbaugh. Who the hell even listens to Rush Limbaugh any more? Certainly no one born after 1965.
Let’s break down the conversation.
“What’s your name sir, and why are you doing this?”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
“Are you drunk or something?”
“No, I just hate all of your shit on your cahhhh.”
“Oh that’s really pleasant.”
“Isn’t that great?”
Think about how wild this is. The guy got drunk on the clock, and specifically targeted this woman’s house so he could sit outside of it and honk his horn, and all because she drives a Subaru with left wing bumper stickers. And then when asked about it he initially played dumb before finally admitting that he simply hates every single thing she stands for. Nothing brings out genuine honesty quite like a mid day bender.
“What’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem, you do.”
The best part was this….
“I don’t go in front of any Trump person’s house and blast Rachel Maddow.”
“Mad cow. You mean Mad cow?
He was just WAITING to use that line. All day, every day. Whenever he hears the word “Maddow” he’s simply been conditioned to yell “mad cow” no matter what the circumstances.
“You are seriously disturbed sir.”
“You’re on the opposite side of the complete universe of the country. It’s just so absurd.”
The fact that this guy lives in Massachusetts and still believes that liberals are somehow a minority is fascinating.
As hilarious as this whole scenario was, obviously this guy deserves to be fired and I’m not gonna defend it. He was driving drunk during the middle of the day in a company van. End of story. He wasn’t just a little drunk either. That was black out Smitty drunk. He also targeted and harassed a private citizen, and although I probably feel the same way he does about this woman’s politics, you can’t be doing that on the clock. If the roles were reversed we’d be ripshit, and they’d be cheering it on. That’s the difference between us and them. We’re not savages.
But at the same time, this woman is absolutely unbearable and is acting like she was just the victim of a hate crime.
White supremacist radio? Rush Limbaugh is cut and paste conservatism for the AARP. He also didn’t wave his Trump hat at you. At no point in that video were you at all startled, and it seemed like you were almost as amused as we all were at the comical nature of the whole event. Fuck off with your “he felt superior because he’s a white dude,” bullshit too. He’s just a drunk who ran out of fucks to give.
And seriously, your friends are checking in on you? For what? To make sure he didn’t get his stomach pumped in your driveway? Be a bigger victim. You can’t.
This woman’s post tweet reaction is everything that is wrong with society today. The whole thing was funny. Just take the stick out of your ass and laugh about it with the rest of us. Then go have consensual heterosexual sex with your wife and call it a day.
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