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So here is yet another proud tale of achievement from one of New Bedford’s finest gutterslags:
“A New Bedford woman is facing firearms charges after her arrest in Wareham.
Officers responded to the area of the Woods At Wareham housing complex on Wednesday just after 7 pm, after receiving a report that a woman had pulled a gun on a man.
The woman was last seen in a black SUV, exiting the property onto Swifts Beach Road.
Within minutes, Police spotted the suspect’s vehicle on the side of the road.
After an investigation, Police arrested 21-year old Alyssa Sinclair of New Bedford and recovered the loaded firearm.
Sinclair was charged with assault with a dangerous weapon and possession of a firearm without a permit.
Police say it appears the incident was the result of an argument.”
Some ratchet dumpslut from New Bedford pulled a gun in the middle of an argument less than a mile away from Wareham low income housing? You don’t say! In fact, this story is so utterly predictable and routine at this point that the actual criminal offense was all but entirely overshadowed by the 6 inches of sharpie scribbled above homegirl’s eye holes.
Holy. Shit.
But when the thot squad of all thot squads showed up to free muh boi, it wasn’t explicitly to defend her against the criminal allegations, but instead just to attack anyone who pointed out her face looks like Frank Zappa’s mustache.
Don’t be flapping your gums about her friend’s eyebrows, yo. Or this ghettohog will beat you TF up.
….And you’ll never guess what she does for work.
Shocker.
Alyssa showed up to express her displeasure with the fact that her mugshot makes her look like a Jr Bacon Sleazeburger, and correct the public perception real quick.
Damn them for not putting photo filters on mugshots. Those animals.
And if there’s anyone who is clearly an expert on beauty, it’s this Scare-Ho
The more browzilla and the thot patrol commented, the more it started to look like the ghetto forces of the universe coming together to form the ultimate Ratchet Voltron. So much ghetto word salad, so many emojis.
So. Many. Snapchat. Filters.
That’s the epitome of class, ladies and gentleman. Ignore the unlicensed gun charges. These bitches keep it a hunnit.
Unfortunately for Alyssa, though, neither the two snowshoes drawn above her eyes or criminal behavior really stole the show here. Most likely because her behavior is typical for New Bedford, Wareham, and just her, period.
Gun charges? Boring! Just another Tuesday night for Browzilla from New Befferd. No, the real star of the show here ended up being bottom feeding ratchet extraordinaire and “childcare provider” Becca Santos,
when she got into an epic ghetto word salad with everyone’s favorite guttermuppet, Nikki Potnick.
First of all, if you want to know why New Bedford is such a barren wasteland of broken English and broken dreams dipped in government cheese, look no further than the “childcare” available there:
But for as mean as you were, Becca, Nikki would still let you watch her kids for a weekend or six!
She even tried to tag us in, like we’d ever have anything negative to say about everyone’s favorite crackho.
And when that failed, she tagged in a Jr. Hoodbooger, who was the most respectful, learned, well spoken child I have ever seen.
I vote we just napalm New Bedford, and Wareham while we’re at it, and just start from the ground up. It’s practically a post apocalyptic wasteland anyway. Doing so would save a ton of tax dollars, and plummet the statewide crime rate, I could almost guarantee it.
21 Comment(s)
i love how the nikki girl was clowning herself.. it looked like you guys were posting as her
Anybody else think UT needs to provide a Turtle-appointed interpreter? As Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction, “English motherfucker, do you speak it?” Holy shit are we screwed.
How could we napalm those fine cities and towns when they continuously give us comedic gold!
“Nikki” ripping on them, got em cackling like hens in the henhouse when a coyote gets in there.
She’s done some fine work on the Brockton Hub. This pales in comparison to some of the exchanges I’ve seen her get into, a couple of those times we were destroying some fuckheads like in a tag team match, lol. Ruthless savagery is what it was, hahaha.
That poor girl with those eyebrows, tho…
Reminds me of the old Mario Bros video games where the little guinea has to jump a gap or die.
So sick of the huge geometric Sharpie brows. Why do they put them so high up on their foreheads??? My makeup legit takes 5 minutes- they gotta spend that on 1 brow alone.
I’m guessing Becca drives a jeep, she would need a 4×4 to haul that ass around . . . .
Sharpie eyebrows – check.
Female thug – check.
Ugly fucking mug that needs filters to look semi-attractive – check.
1st grader’s language skills – check.
A team full of fat fucks to defend her honor – check.
My god, this fucking cum dumpster has the world by the balls!
At first I thought she was kinda cute, but then I realized she has so much fucking makeup on she could pass for a fuckin Madam Tussaud’s wax figure
When I was done flingin my seed on that philly her eyebrows would look like a zebra’s back
I don’t understand how in ALL these blogs they be like yo that bitch need to step out I see her out 100 hit that bitch etc..
Just how fucking big is New Bedford? Don’t they cross paths when they’re at the welfare office, buying baby formula, at Office Max buying Sharpies to make eyebrows or hanging out in the Tedeschis parking lot on a Saturday night?
It has to be almost impossible for them to not run into each other all the time.
All of these b!tches rely on some form of gov’t assistance.
1st of all let me just say bleeech! 2nd) ratchet madness should have everyone one of theses slugs in it and 3rd) those aren’t eyebrows they are madgascaran caterpillars.
If this young lass was my daughter she’d be on the receiving end of my Sabbath Stick!
“Smokin cock for ramen don’t count” Have to give a count of points to Guttermuppet, that was pretty funny
The hell with the brows. Those are some of the deadest eyes I’ve ever seen.
Wins first prize for best vacant stare.
Argreed. She has the ‘I’ll fuck your brains out, slip you a sedative, and for breakfast I’ll eat your liver with some fava beans and fine Chianti’
Why, this energetic exchange of opinion reminds me of the Salle de l’Horloge in Paris, back in the heady days of January 1919, with the Great War recently concluded. Clemenceau, Orlando, Wilson, and I…I daresay we conspired a bit too enthusiastically to punish the scoundrel Huns in the manner they most assuredly deserved, but it was the sporting way to handle the affair. You should have been there to observe von Brockdorff-Rantzau’s reaction in person, the blackguard! The “Diktat.” What balderdash!
Hey von Brockdorff-Rantzau: eat my diktat, as the rowdy youths of today might say.
Anywho, well met, Turtleboy old chap.
That’s the funniest reply I have seen on here in a long time. I was just going to say that all this ratchetry just makes me wish I was dead. Oh, wait…
New Bedfords finest Pig Bitches all in one place! It’s the ultimate ratchet pot of gold. ( or pot of food stamps) whatever way you look at it.. Man.. I gotta open up an eyebrow waxing studio diwn there. Them Pig Bitches will make me a rich man!
Becca Santos, your ass makes those jeans look huge.
Nikki makes yet another appearence an TBS. LOL