New Hampshire State Reps Laugh At Kids Who Introduced Bill To Change State Bird Because Abortion

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Question – Where can you find the highest concentration of asshats in America. Answer – Concord, New Hampshire. Never has that been more abundantly clear than when some of New Hampshire’s finest elected representatives decided to take a nice steamy dump on Granite State children by mocking them for showing an interest exercising their civic responsibilities.

From WCVBThe students from Lincoln H. Akerman School in Hampton Falls worked during class and on their own time to craft a bill to make the red-tailed hawk the official state raptor. They got a sponsor for it, got the bill through a House of Representatives committee and then watched from the House gallery last week to see if it would pass. 

Rep. Warren Groen, a Republican from Rochester, rose to speak on the measure, which was defeated.

“It grasps them with its talons and then uses its razor-sharp beak to rip its victims to shreds, to basically tear it apart limb by limb, and I guess the shame about making this a state bird is it would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood,” Groen said.

“Do we need a state waterfowl, a state pet bird, a state wild bird?” Groen told The Huffington Post in a phone interview. “How many types of birds do we need?”

Principal Mark Deblois said Thursday that he has heard from parents whose kids asked what Planned Parenthood is and why it was invoked in a discussion about hawks.

“None of the kids got those (abortion) references,” he said. “Fortunately they didn’t, because it’s such a disgusting reference. But certainly that led to questions about what did that mean.”

Groen defended his comments and chastised critics for being outraged by his comments but not by abortion.

“The gallery is open to the public and there are children in the gallery every day,” he said. “I don’t know if we should limit free speech or limit the attendance in the gallery. It seems either one would be bad for transparency in government.”

Other lawmakers joked that they were representing a constituent named “The Big Chicken” or ridiculed the bill as silly, saying the state would next be naming an official hot dog. Those comments affected the students more than the Planned Parenthood comment, Deblois said.

“Obviously, they were disappointed that their bill didn’t pass, but it was just the manner in which they say the bill was debated, when they saw people stand up and say these just appalling things,” Deblois said. “That (the abortion reference) was probably less than the gentlemen who stood up and made jokes. That was almost more upsetting to them because they understood those references. Why didn’t they take us seriously? Why were people laughing?”

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Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? Before I get started on what gigantic dooshnozzles these morons are, let me just state that we don’t write about abortion for a very good reason. It makes people hate each other. It’s a political issue and this blog wants no part of it. So whatever you do, don’t be THAT turd in the punchbowl who turns the comments section into a debate about when life begins. That’s not what Turtleboy was created to do.

With that being said, this is probably the best civics lesson a teacher could possibly give. Here you have a bunch of 10 year old kids who want to introduce one of the most harmless, uncontroversial pieces of legislation in the history of democracy. And what happens? Some asshat turns it into a grizzly metaphor about Roe vs. Wade. 

Jesus freaking Christ people, they wanted to make the state raptor a red-tailed hawk. I didn’t even know state’s could have state raptors. I thought those were only in Jurassic Park. And even so, who gives a shit what the state raptor is? How does that at all effect the day to day functioning of the New Hampshire state government?

You had ONE job when you were elected to the statehouse. Your job is to make sure the government functions. We need tax revenue, we need roads, we need schools, we need state services. That’s it. Your job is to figure out the details involved in the functioning of those activities. All you had to do was pass a harmless bill about a state raptor first.


But what does Warren Groen do instead? Draw a comparison about how a wild fucking BIRD eats it’s prey to abortions at Planned Parenthood. First of all, is this guy a vegetarian? Does he have a problem with ALL carnivores, or just the ones that are mean to their prey? Newsflash – a raptor by definition is a bird that eats other animals. There isn’t a single one that doesn’t tear the shit out of delicious chipmunks before chowing down. So what’s your beef with the red-tailed hawk?

Oh that’s right, you don’t really have a beef. You’re just a dooshnozzle who ruins every family dinner you’ve ever had by bringing up abortion. This is what you do. It’s your schtick. You are the downer at every party you’ve ever been to. And he doesn’t seem to really give a shit either because he’s refusing to acknowledge that crushing children’s enthusiasm for civics might not have been a good idea.


Guess what other bird annihilates kitty-cats, puppy-dogs, and anything else it can get it’s talons on?


You got a problem with bald eagles too Warren Groen? Because if you do then you can go and get the hell out of America then.

The worst part about these dingleberries is that they LAUGHED at these kids. Ya got that? They LAUGHED at a bunch of 13 year olds. They obviously have really big schmenzers. Was the bill superfluous? Maybe. Did it matter? Nope. So throw the kids a fucking bone, make them feel good about themselves, restore their faith in democracy, and then go back to doing nothing all day.

But yea, you guys are BIG men, making jokes about official state hot dogs. That’ll teach these kids to become involved in state politics.

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