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I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure you aren’t allowed to enter into New Hampshire politics unless you’re a total freakshow. Be forewarned, this post is NOT political. In all fairness I would roast any cocklobster that displays this amount of douchebaggery so don’t blow up the TB post thread with political rants because I sincerely don’t give a flying flapjack which party you affiliate with. The only party Turtle Bae affiliates with is one where I can drink wine out of a solo cup with other adults who may or may not have tacos. (Bonus friendship points if you have tacos..)
It seems that Robert Fisher (R Representative out of Laconia, NH) is, in fact, a one man circus sideshow. He’s about as likable as having a bad case of shingles on a 90 degree day at Hampton beach with no shade and an Ed Hardy clad brodude kicking sand onto your towel.
Fisher has been named as the man behind Reddit page “The Red Pill” which is bursting with threads supporting “male rights” and promotes itself as a “discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.”
Are we positive that Fisher is the creator of The Red Pill?
Yeah, we’re sure.
Red Pill members discuss things like rape, the weaknesses of being an “alpha” vs. “beta” male, exercise regimens, how to get away with secret vasectomies without your child-wanting partner finding out, and mostly things that insult/degrade females in general. Here are just a few excerpts among MANY that can give Turtle Riders a better idea of the kind of idiocy we’re talking about:
Kind of makes Ed Hardy brodude look like a friggin’ saint, right?
Well, Robert Fisher, reject ringleader of The Red Pill, has posted some of the most ridiculous, mind numbing crap I’ve ever seen:
Oh! Let’s not forget about the comment he posted about rape not being all bad. Ya know, because rape is only mostly bad. Rapists enjoy raping so at least there’s an upside.
Are you gagging yet? Because while putting this article together I have deeply considered the idea of chugging Clorox and stabbing myself in the eyeballs with pruning sheers. Don’t chalk me up to be some sort of ultra feminist either because I certainly haven’t marched with giant vajay-jay posters and I don’t hate men. I’m not against males, I’m just against people acting like self-absorbed chumps who post online about how to strategically treat other people like garbage. This page is full of so much Kanye West self love that I’m left with mental pictures of grown men watching themselves jerk off in the mirror while simultaneously flexing their biceps, blending creatine shakes and right swiping on Tinder.
Bottom line, Robert Fisher is an asshole. Hands down, no questions asked. Anyone with a smidge of decency knows that this kind of ideology is super gross, right?
Look at Robbie tunachode. You think he’s going to fess up?
When initially asked about the page, Robert claimed he had noooo ideaaa what Red Pill was but within hours of being outed with proof linking him to the page he removed two of his main Reddit usernames and deleted 4 blogs. It’s too bad Fisher doesn’t read Turtleboy Sports because he’d know that the internet lasts forever.
To further my own self-inflicted punishment I checked out his SoundCloud page and listened to the 5 tracks he has available from The Five Nines. I think it’s worth noting that the email address used for the Reddit page was the same one used for The Nine Fives Facebook page and the SoundCloud page where his band posts their music. By “band” I mean him.. As in the only member of The Five Nines. Still want to claim you have no idea what The Red Pill is, Robbie?
Lord have mercy on my eyes and ears because after scrolling through the Facebook/Soundcloud pages I am 9/10ths of the way to going full blown Helen Keller. The music put out by Fisher, er, The Five Nines, is what getting roofied would sound like if it made noise. I especially enjoy his track “All I Do Is Lie”. Fitting, no? It sounds like Robbie spent a whole lot of time crying in his moms basement listening to 80’s synth and perfecting his ability to become a master kazooist.
Speaking of mistakes..
Fisher admitted Yesterday Tuesday that he said “some injudicious things about the opposite sex following a bad breakup.” Oh okay, you had a rough split from the sorry chick that dated you so you totally get to post shitty things online about women with all the eloquence of a rotted out tree stump. That explains it.
He stands firm that the quotes were taken “out of context” or were “untrue”. Uh.. How the hell are you going to deny things that have been proven to come from your usernames, with your email address that is linked with other private and personal webpages?
As of right now Fisher has no intention of resigning from his position.
“I’m disappointed that this sort of attack has replaced real news, but it strengthens my position and resolve that fighting for equal rights is more important today than ever,” Fisher said in a statement released Tuesday night. “Here’s my message to the public: I am not disappearing. I will continue to stand strong for men’s rights and the rights of all.”
Good ol’ fake news.
Feel free to contact Robert Fisher and let him know that everything flying out of the blowhole on his face is unpasteurized bullshit and he should tuck his tail while he still can.
There’s always kazooing to go back to, Rob.
P.S.- Thanks for ruining The Matrix for everyone, jerk.