Social Justice Warriors

North High Principal Lisa Dyer Sent Her Whole Faculty An Email Calling Teacher Janice Harvey A Racist

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Loading...

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester

 

You’ll probably be reading about this in two days when Sam Allen gets wind of it at the Telegram and Gazette, but we got four emails from North High teachers today in regards to an email that Worcester North High School principal Lisa Dyer sent the entire faculty on Sunday night. The email was in regards to an article that North teacher Janice Harvey wrote for Worcester Magazine; an article that we blogged about the next day. What Janice wrote was so well-put and not the least bit offensive. If you haven’t read it yet I suggest you do. It was an honest, straight-forward assessment from someone who has dedicated her life to helping Worcester children better themselves. That’s why Lisa Dyer’s email so appalling. We’ve italicized what she wrote, and bolded our responses.

Dear Staff at North High School,

I want to make you aware that Janice Harvey has written an article in this week’s Worcester Magazine that may put us back on the front page and in a unfavorable light in the eyes of many within our students’ communities. To begin with, she re-hashes the negative events we suffered and have begun to overcome, and in my opinion, underestimates all the hard work staff has done in the building to turn things around, crediting the police instead.  In one sentence, she disrespects Dr. Boone, Superintendent of Worcester Public Schools, and aligns with Turtleboy Sports, a troll, known for his ability to incite causing maximum disruption and argument, particularly around issues of race for this troll.

First of all, how unprofessional is this woman? You have a problem with what Janice wrote? Even if I conceded that you had some sort of right to suppress her free speech, which you don’t, you certainly should’ve spoken to Janice individually rather, than firing off some bullshit email like this which is clearly intended to humiliate her. How fucking trashy are you? This is Jerry Springer style garbage. 

And HEAVEN FORBID she “disrespect” the Great Dr. Boone. Who is she to use her First Amendment rights to criticize an administrator who has put her and her colleagues directly in danger. She sat on her ass and watched as faculty member after faculty member was assaulted by 20 year old sophomore SAVAGES at North High. Dr. Boone did that. And Janice doesn’t have a right to be angry about that?  

Oh yea, and I’d love to see the point in the article where she “aligns” with Turtleboy. This is the only time Janice even mentioned us in her column: 

Word wars have erupted between the Telegram and Gazette’s columnist Clive McFarlane – a champion of Dr. Melinda Boone – and the folks behind the controversial blog Turtleboy Sports.”

How is that aligning with us? She’s pointing out a statement of fact. We have blog beef with Jive Clive. Everyone knows that. Where is the part where she shares solidarity with us? She called us “controversial.” What the fuck else do you want her to say? Should she call us the antichrist? 

Harvey then begins to trash the “Coming Together Collective”. As you may recall, I spoke on a panel to this group with Mayor Petty, City Manager Augustus, and Superintendent Boone. Harvey refers to The Collective as “activists” but neglects to tell you who they are. Within this group are the minority leaders of the City of Worcester: Pastors, Reverends, City Councilors, Lawyers, City Government employees, including NORTH HIGH TEACHERS, alumni, business owners, social service agencies, college and university representatives, and concerned parents and relatives.  Let’s just say if we didn’t have race relation problems before, we certainly may have them now.

Oh is THAT who the “collective” is? College and university representatives? Because everyone knows that we need Professor Sonya Conner’s input on North High. And who the fuck elected any of those “activists?” Why are unelected, self-appointed, cop-hating, Carlo Baldino-marrying pieces of garbage dictating policy in the Worcester Public Schools? Just think about that for a second. Joyce McNickles CHOSE to marry this man,

jaanz

and we’re giving her a seat at the table instead of dedicated teachers like Janice Harvey, who are actually invested in the lives of students. 

This group, whom we work for as public servants, came together in response to a need at North High.  They were reading on TurtleboySports , people were calling our students (their children) “savages, animals” and the like. The site went so far as to say the North High teachers needed cages to protect themselves from the students; VERY RACIST stuff.

This group who you work for??? Is that a fucking JOKE??? The principal of North High School actually just said that the teachers there WORK for Coming Together Circlejerk. That happened in real life. She pressed “send.” I am literally without words. 

And what kids do Joyce McNickles and Brenda Jenkins have at North High School? She actually said “their children.” Because Joyce and Old Balls live out in Sutton, and there’s no way that modern medicine has found a way to help Old Balls reproduce. 

As for Turtleboy Sports, some of your students were acting like savages and animals. That’s a fact. What separates human beings from animals is our civility. We don’t kill and physically attack each other. When we do, we’re acting like animals and savages. War is savage. Fighting is savage. Hitting principals is savage. 

Oh yea, and please point out the blog where we said that students need to be “caged.” We’ll be waiting. Ya know what happened here? Lisa Dyer has never read an article on Turtleboy Sports. Ever. She’s hearing second hand tall tales from her “bosses” at the “collective.” And since she’s really good at her job she’s turning these lies into facts and joining in the parade calling us racist. Fuck you Lisa Dyer. FUCK. YOU. You can try to silence your teachers, but you just picked a fight with a group of writers that you didn’t want to pick a fight with. We were planning on letting this North thing die out. Not anymore. 

It then becomes apparent within her article that she cannot differentiate between “racial tension” and institutional racism.  Personally, I’m embarrassed when she says our teachers and students are colorblind. As if our students don’t know enough to honor the beauty of their complexions. Are we not teaching our students how to overcome challenges they may face in our society and their history in the eyes of America? Are we not helping to instill a pride in them of who they are?  

You’re embarrassed by Janice Harvey? How DARE you say that as a leader. You’re the principal at a school that has had more 9-1-1 calls this year than the rest of the secondary schools in the city COMBINED. YOU should be EMBARRASSED by your own incompetence, not by the truth that Janice presented. 

And “institutional racism?” There’s no way she came up with that term on her own. Coming Together Circlejerk taught her that one. “Institutional racism” is nothing less than an excuse that shitty leaders use to make sure racism never, ever dies. But as we’ve discovered from our investigating, groups like the Mosaic Cultural Complex make hundreds of thousands of dollars off of the lie that racism is running rampant in Worcester. 

57450559

And what does this mean: 

Are we not teaching our students how to overcome challenges they may face in our society and their history in the eyes of America? 

That’s not even a sentence. I’ve read that several times and still have no clue what it means. Because it means absolutely nothing.

She’s your typical administrator. She didn’t get to where she is because she’s smart or good at teaching. She got to where she is because she climbs the ladder for a living. And the best way to climb the ladder is to be as politically correct as possible. Good teachers stay in the classroom because it’s where they make a difference. Bad teachers become administrators because they don’t know how to teach. (no offense to great administrators like Maureen Binienda at South High, and the good folks who run Worcester Arts Magnet, three of the VP’s at Doherty High School, and any other schools where the principals do a good job)

I cannot believe a person who is appointed to lead 1,350 students, is actually writing an email to the faculty that is telling them that black students are going to have to overcome obstacles that white kids won’t. What kind of message is that? Are we trying to teach kids to come up with excuses for when they don’t reach their goals? Do the Obama twins have it harder than some white kid who lives in a triple decker on Shelby Street? What a disgrace Lisa Dyer is. 

Why they are so disrespected and spoken to in such a condescending tone is something we all must ponder since she goes on to imply, she speaks for ALL North High teachers and students.

Another lie. Nowhere in her article does she ever imply she speaks for all teachers and students at North. Just a blatant, bold-faced lie from a gutless administrator who doesn’t know how to do her job. 

Cultural Competency 101: “colorblindness” suggests racism.  Why do we have to be “colorblind” to educate any student and treat them with dignity and respect? Complexion is a part of ones identity and the majority of us know the significance of identity to adolescent development. We cannot be colorblind if we are to prepare all of our students for success in the real world.

Cultural FUCKING Competency. She actually said that. “Colorblindness suggest racism.” Ho-Lee-Shit. What am I reading right now? You can’t be colorblind if you’re gonna prepare students for success in the real world?? Of course you can!! Because that is EXACTLY how the real world is gonna treat them. COLOR BLIND!! When your students go on to get a job in a few years, do you think their boss will give a flying fuck if they’re black or white? No. They’ll only care if they can do their job. 

More importantly, how unprofessional can you get? Sharing an email with the whole faculty that blatantly calls one of her teachers a racist? That happened. How can Janice Harvey ever possibly work in that sort of hostile environment again? MCAS is coming up this week, and we all know how important those charts are to Dr. Boone. How is any teacher at North High supposed to focus when their “leader” just did this to one of their own?

Photo by Lindsay Corcoran, Masslive.com.

Photo by Lindsay Corcoran, Masslive.com.

Harvey suggests that our students are pained to read hogwash that suggests our teachers are prejudiced in any way – yet I have heard from many students and some staff otherwise.

No you haven’t. That’s a blatant, bold faced lie from someone looking to pass their own professional failures onto an underling. There isn’t ONE teacher or student at North High who came to you with a claim that your teachers are prejudice. Not one. If you were a student, would you EVER voluntarily go out of your way to speak with this woman?

jjmti

And even if there was prejudice amongst your faculty towards students of color, what kind of leader are you not to address that? So you’re telling me that some poor kid came into Lisa Dyer’s officer (she rarely leave is) and said, “

Mrs. so-and-so is racist,

” and Lisa Dyer NEVER acted on that? Yea, I definitely believe that story. Definitely. 

As long as North High is tasked with educating and empowering minority students, race will and must always be a factor.

Newsflash – North High is tasked with educating and empowering ALL students. Not just minority students. And race will be a factor? A factor in what? Their grading? Suspension rates? Please tell me how students at North should be educated based on their race. 

Oh and by the way Lisa, since you’re so astute in “cultural competency” you should get in touch with PC wizard Kevin Ksen. He’ll be the first to tell you that it’s racist to say “minority” now. Didn’t you get the memo? Upper-middle class white people are in charge of dictating acceptable and non-offensive terminology towards other races. “People of color” has been the preferred term for quite some time now. RACIST!!!

Over the last few months I have witnessed great resiliency in our staff and students. My suggestion to such a hard working staff – don’t get involved. Continue to do what you do best, and don’t allow others to speak for you.

Translation for teachers at North – shut the fuck up. Speak when spoken to. Don’t you DARE exercise your free speech rights outside of school. 

The ironic part about this email is clearly she sent it to the faculty assuming they’d be on her side. Nothing could possibly illustrate her lack of awareness and how out of touch she is with her faculty than that. Because a good leader knows the pulse of those under their employ. But when you lock yourself in your office and only listen to self-appointed community organizers and carpetbaggers, you don’t really understand what your employees are going through.

Newsflash Lisa Dyer – four of your own teachers sent US this email. We’ve been contacted by close to 30 teachers in the past few months, complaining about your lack of leadership. Think about that. They don’t trust you so they turn to Worcester’s most vulgar blog of hot takes. You’re THAT BAD at your job.

A lot of people shit on American education and point that we’re falling behind fancy countries like Japan and Finland. And you know part of why that is? Students in those countries grow up in a culture where adults are respected, no questions asked. Their teachers are well-compensated professionals and are treated in society on an equal playing field as doctors, because those countries value education.

Are teachers in America treated like doctors? Are doctors evaluated on the basis of their patients’ obesity rates? Are doctors regularly assaulted on the job and then not protected by their bosses? Nope. Teachers in America are treated like expendable, and easily replaceable labor. If they were respected then THEY would have been the ones meeting with Augustus, Petty, Boone, and Dyer, instead of the Coming Together Circlejerk.

Lisa Dyer simply must be fired. Nothing less is acceptable. If the union has ANY balls, they refuse to work until she’s gone. That means YOU Lenny. Time to grow a pair. And guess what? The taxpayers are 100% behind the teachers. I’ll call up my buddies in the teamsters and we’ll make sure a Goddamn bread truck breaks down in front of the entrance to the school.

I’ve never even met Janice Harvey, and neither has anyone else here at Turtleboy Sports. We’re not friends. I have no horse in this race. But I know a good teacher when I see it. She is one of many great teachers at North High who filled out a little bio about her philosophy towards teaching on the school’s website:

“My personal goals as an educator are to ignite in students a love of reading; to instill a desire to express themselves clearly and with conviction through the written word. It is my hope that each student will feel confident about his or her own voice in society, and the importance of the role of the individual in the community. Each student should understand the concept of accountability – the consequences of his or her actions, the weight of decision-making, and always remember that every word we speak resonates, somewhere, with someone.”

She wants students to be able to write clearly. She wants them to learn the importance of civic engagement. She wants them to learn about accountability – a lost art in this country. She’s enthusiastic about her job, she’s well-spoken, she’s engaging, and she’s interesting. I would be HONORED for her to teach Turtleboy Jr. how to write a persuasive essay one day in ELA class.

Here’s what I want Turtleboy Nation to do. Email Lisa Dyer. Her email is [email protected]. But please, don’t be as vulgar as we are. Be dignified and respectful and people will take you seriously. Flood her inbox. Stop what you’re doing right now and take three minutes to tell her that as a taxpayer who finances her salary, you won’t stand for this sort of antagonistic, racist, teacher-bashing nonsense. The school’s phone number is 508-799-3370. Call tomorrow. Leave messages. Let them know that Janice Harvey was speaking for the REAL community when she wrote that article, not Clive, Old Balls, Sonya Conner, Chris Robarge, Joyce McNickles, Brenda Jenkins, Keesha LaTulippe, Marianna Islam, and the rest of the race-baiting garbage that has polluted our schools.

And for the record, we know how coarse and vulgar we can be over here. But a lot of well-respected people in the community echo our sentiment. City Councillor Mike Gaffney, School Committee members Brian O’Connell and Diana Biancheria, former teacher Gary Vecchio, and former administrator Joan Fitton, who left this manifesto on Facebook in solidarity with Janice Harvey:

Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 10.54.01 PM Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 10.54.12 PM Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 10.54.24 PM Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 10.54.57 PM

 

Boom. Roasted.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester

Loading...
35 Comment(s)
  • July 31, 2017 at 3:25 am

    Hello admin, i must say you have very interesting posts here.
    Your website can go viral. You need initial traffic boost only.
    How to get it? Search for; Mertiso’s tips go viral

  • Razor Ramon
    April 9, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    TLDR, holy hell…

  • Penny Mickunas
    April 1, 2015 at 11:59 am

    Clearly Ms. Dyer does not know her staff!!

  • RSoxGuy
    March 31, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    Sounds to me like Dyer just tried to bully Janice by using school equipment (emails) to personally harass and defame another employee. Who wants to bet dyer doesnt have in September?

  • Me
    March 31, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    Actually, doctors are graded on their performance. They are not graded on whether or not their patients are “obese”, but if heart failure patients are re-hospitalized for the same admission within a 30 day period, the doctor and hospital are SEVERELY financially penalized.

    So in essence, doctors have a financial incentive to keep patients out of the hospital.

  • mark c
    March 31, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    I am not sure what to think anymore. First and foremost I am a student of North High. Secondly I guess I should disclose my race , to the census it would be “Caucasian” though I would personally self identify as a human from Earth. I live on Carol Street and am the son of a single mother and father who took off when I was young. He has been in and our of jail and my mother battles with addiction and mental heath issues. My mother and I have been on the bottom rung since I can recall and my life has been that of moving from apartment to apartment with little stability. I keep hearing about this situation of “minority” schooling and stuff like that. Before I speak I guess I should state the PR thing about not knowing what its like to be a “person of color” and that is very true. I do not. But I do know what its like to live in abject poverty in a city. And I do not what its like to go to public schooling in that city. There seems to be very contradictory remarks and sentiments within this whole situation. First and foremost there is no projecting the “beauty of their complexions” for me since I am a “raunchy cracker”. But previous sentiment says we are to be uplifting children of color. New flash, we should be uplifting every human in that building. This school and the groups it associates with are entrenching racial divide. Lisa Dyer is recounting her OWN personal RACIAL BIAS by typing that letter and associating qualities of the word “Savage” with a specific group of humans. The is projecting her own FEELINGS OF WHITE SUPREMACY. Savages is merely associated with humans who act outside of laws of society. If the Coming Together Collective is about coming together why does it exclude people who aren’t self identifying as the generic “black”, where is the “Latino” “Asian” “Hispanic” “Latino” “Native Hawaiian” “Pacific Islander” etc. How is a group that apparently, she works for, even though they have proven to be an ILLEGAL ENTITY THAT WAS PROVEN ITSELF TO BE A BULLY THAT CREATES EXCLUSIVE ENVIRONMENTS, how is it that this group can campaign with the slogan of helping one group of people who self identify one way, while neglecting the fact that poverty, poor schooling, lack of support networks, can happen to EVERYONE. so much more I want to say but don’t even know how. You know why Japan is doing well in schooling? because they don’t divide their citizens with ambiguous line surrounding race. TEACH ALL THE CHILDREN PROTECT ALL THE CHILDREN GET HATE GROUPS OUT OF OUR SCHOOL GET HATEFUL PEOPLE OUT OF OFFICE

  • Maggie the Cat
    March 31, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    “(

    “(A)bility to incite causing maximum disruption and argument”? Isn’t that what King George said about the rebellious colonists of Massachusetts over 200 years ago? And look what those colonists started! Of course, one or the other of the King Georges was mad….

  • goday
    March 31, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    As a South High graduate who benefitted greatly from her tutelage, I’m happy for the shout out to Mrs. Binienda. I’m sure she and any WPS employer worth their weight are appalled by this entire situation.

  • E P
    March 31, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Lisa Dyer is obviously a problem at North High. The faculty should take a vote of no confidence in her for lack of leadership and demonstrating questionable ethics. That being said sister Boone will probably promote her for her Sunday night email. Also the pointless missive from Joan Fitton was poorly written and demonstrates only that she is full of herself. It does little to help Janice Harvey. Those who know her understand that she ended up feeding at the administrative trough (grant reader) by kissing the right asses. She still can’t help falling all over with praise for Messiers Garvey and Caradonio still thanking them for having her nice pension checks sent to the lovely state of Nevada where she now resides. Administrators couldn’t hack it the classroom so they shamelessly maneuvered their way up to Irving St where they pretended to be productive by sending out memos and pushing paper.

    • Joan
      April 1, 2015 at 12:54 am

      Just for the record —I NEVER kissed any asses. My “poorly written missive” was in support of a friend, It was on my Facebook page and she shared it. Had I known it was going to be lifted for publication in this blog I would have used my best Harvard writing style.

  • March 31, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    The administration, both Irving St and North High, should have had a meeting with the entire North Staff (the entire adult staff). All the parties should discuss the problems and issues ,then together develop a plan for the school to run on. Also, it is important to involve the EAW in the discussions . The union needs to be involved. Lastly, before implementing the plan run it by student leaders for their input. Top down days are over, the staff, as well as the administration has to be involved!

    • March 31, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      “Top down days are over, the staff, as well as the administration has to be involved!”

      That’s a great point for one main reason. In order for as you say “Top down” management to work, management has to have the buy-in of the rank and file. Once you’ve lost that as a leader, you really only have management through fear and intimidation left as an option. Any gains made through that approach will only be short-lived, because a) management never really knows who their true supporters are (if any), and b) management never knows when the “Et tu, Brutus?” moment is coming.

  • Danny carbona
    March 31, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Pretty sure Obama’s daughters aren’t twins

    • steve gorgan
      March 31, 2015 at 10:24 am

      Turtleboy likes to mix factual errors in with the logical ones.

  • Running to Win
    March 31, 2015 at 7:47 am

    I’ll have to read the rest of this blog later and I also have more to comment, but I just wanted to quickly mention that I believe Lisa Dyer handled this matter really unprofessionally and as a leader she should know better.

  • March 31, 2015 at 5:49 am

    “The ironic part about this email is clearly she sent it to the faculty assuming they’d be on her side. Nothing could possibly illustrate her lack of awareness and how out of touch she is with her faculty than that. Because a good leader knows the pulse of those under their employ. But when you lock yourself in your office and only listen to self-appointed community organizers and carpetbaggers, you don’t really understand what your employees are going through.”

    I’m not sure how I missed this, but this is the “Skittles” Theory in action. Dyer is of the mentality (having gotten there by being disconnected from her people) that all teachers are X-colored Skittles, and therefore all think the same way.

    • Finnish Goalie
      March 31, 2015 at 7:49 am

      Truly, I really am shocked that she’d risk something like this and alienate staff.

      Even if one of the people e-mailing the blog was Harvey, that’s three more people that have no trust now.

      And that is only the three that bothered to send this to you all.

  • March 31, 2015 at 5:36 am

    “Institutional racism is nothing less than an excuse that shitty leaders use to make sure racism never, ever dies.” – That is exactly my point behind yesterday’s description on my “Skittles” theory of racism. I’ve been saying that from Day One of my involvement with TBS, and it’s the same thing Janice Harvey is saying.

    Frankly, I feel left out. Don’t I deserved to be attacked and read some patently moronic yet hilarious comments aimed at me? Oh, that’s right…I don’t exist.

  • wabbitt
    March 31, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Good shout out to Ms. Binienda. She was my assistant principal when I went to South, and she didn’t take any shit. And from what I’ve heard (from a coworker who student taught there) she still doesn’t take any shit. The insanity at North would never happen at South. Not on Maureen’s watch. She’d tell Dr. Boone to shove her chart where the sun don’t shine, and would have expelled those 25 year old freshmen the second they started a lick of bullshit.

    America needs more Maureen Biniendas and less Lisa Dyers. More Turtleboys and less Clive McFucksticks. MORE J-DUBS. LESS CARLO OLDBALLSDINOS.

    It’s time for common sense to take this fucking country back from these race-baiting crybabies.

  • Worcester Masshole
    March 31, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Wow. I am incensed by this. Lisa Dyer has just rewritten the book on unprofessionalism. Singling out a member of her own staff in a mass email…. This goes beyond unprofessional and into savagery.

    • Michael Hartwell
      March 31, 2015 at 8:50 pm

      Oddly, her e-mail is no longer valid.
      You can hide, but you can’t pretend that your viewpoint is anywhere near valid in our current cultural paradigms, or run.

  • RJ
    March 31, 2015 at 12:36 am

    I think it’s scary that people hear the word “savage”, devoid of any racial context whatsoever, and immediately ascribe racist motivations to it. Basically, it means that these people have the word savage linked to some specific racial group in their mind and they then project this bias onto others. If you hear some specific negative word and immediately assume “oh, they’re talking about group X”…that’s on you, not the author.

    • March 31, 2015 at 2:32 am

      Really good point RJ! What race IS “savage”?

      • wabbitt
        March 31, 2015 at 10:25 am

        All of them.

    • Forrest Gumpeker
      March 31, 2015 at 9:15 am

      Unlike Turtle Boy, some of us know hist0ry.

      • Finnish Goalie
        March 31, 2015 at 9:39 am

  • RSoxGuy
    March 30, 2015 at 11:15 pm

    “Joyce, where’s my pills?” is classic. Next time Im in Smokestack Im buying a Tshirt from them just for this post!

    Dont give up till they are done TB! NO QUIT!

  • Phil Osifer
    March 30, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Then difference between you and her is she works directly with youth. She has first hand experience with the problems the children deal with. You don’t.

    The future is these children and they are much less blind than you fools.

    • March 31, 2015 at 5:38 am

      How do you know that? Tell me one thing you know about the author that is FACT.

      • Stroke Game
        March 31, 2015 at 7:35 am

        1. He thinks you’re a useful idiot.

    • Finnish Goalie
      March 31, 2015 at 7:50 am

      And yet, this e-mail was sent to this blog by four people have have constant, and daily hands on experience with children.

      An administrator knows what the kids are thinking more than the school room staff?

    • Speed
      March 31, 2015 at 10:30 am

      I’d rather she not work with kids, as if this is her attitude, she’s part of the problem.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?