Northbridge Ratchetling Tells Desk Girl She Is Calling The Police Because It Was Illegal For Us To Post Her Assaulting Someone Because “She’s A Minor”
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Early today we blogged about that fight outside of Northbridge High School, where two coolata-humming basics decided to jump an underclassman for “talking shit.”
I’m just going to take a second to acknowledge my surprise that we don’t have more people being assaulted with Dunkin Donuts coffees in our area. It just seems like it would happen more often given the stereotype.
At first, Cailin Gonyea thought the whole thing was funny. Then, once she grasped the severity of what being Turtleboy famous meant, she had a change of tune.
She and her rumble-buddy, Makayla Moscoffian, even started blowing up the girl they attacked with apologies. They don’t have any beef with you. That’s probably why they got off the bus and nearly threw the kid in to traffic. Maybe someone told them that it was illegal to beat someone up and they thought it would be wise to apologize. Hm. Whoddathunk it.
Then, like so many before them, the notoriety began to kick in…
Seems like Momma Jizzmop Celia, and her merry gang of hair-pullers don’t like the tables being turned on them. Cailin, not the adult who is responsible for her, messaged us and demanded the blog taken down or else she’s going to the call the fuzz. Original. She ran smack in to Desk Girl who was manning the inbox.
Deskie, fresh out of six hours at the gyno, felt bad for the underwhelming teenager and was going to help her, but she needed some paperwork first.
It’s too bad that Momma Jizzmop, Celia Mcauliffe, wasn’t around to sign the parental consent for removal. Such a shame. She was probably out blowing dudes.
Deskie really hopes that she ends up sending in that paperwork. It would be a shame to keep such horrid truths online.
Meanwhile, back at the base camp of bad parenting, Celia was in tears over how she was portrayed and was ready for some class action. She almost spelled deformation right. Almost.
Now, if publishing your own words is defamation you might want to take a look in a mirror and reconsider your whole life.
Yes, Kevin Lynch. Our offices are located at 48 Cedar Street in Fitchburg.
Someone should probably clue this kid in on how nothing is private online and how being a minor doesn’t always work out the way you want it.
Meanwhile, Turtleriders were as savage as ever. They started tagging the Northbridge Police Department and the school system that failed miserably at keeping the Freshman safe.
Lived through so much? Getting knocked up in high school gets you a TV show these days. Who are you kidding?
Hopefully they arrest this Queen of Sloppy Seconds along with her Violent ratchetling of a kid.
I just hope they don’t come on and ruin our Facebook Live show at 9:30 tonight. I hope they don’t show up on our Turtleboy Sports Facebook page for our live show. I would be super annoyed if they came on and aired their complaints directly to the management who will be live tonight trying to have a calm show. I hate it when trolls show up for live. Don’t show up, skanks. I will be super mad.
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