This Day In Turtleboy

Norwood Spunktrumpet Threatens To Fight Multiple Black Chicks While 7 Months Pregnant After Posting Racist Shit On FB, Changes Profile Pic To “I Stand Against Racism,” Messages Pics Of Black Friends

 

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This is Jennifer Cobb from Norwood:

She’s a got a child with another one on the way:

Naturally she’s getting new tattoos with a bun in the oven:

Which is always recommended by doctors. What’s safer for a baby than having needles stuck into your body because you couldn’t wait a couple months to treat your body like a canvas?

She’s got a sperm donor who goes by Tommy Fitz on the Facebook machine:

His real name is Thomas Fitzgerald, and he’s no stranger to the courthouse records. Like that time he was arrested for selling heroin in a school zone.

Oh yea, only a classy broad would like at a face like that and think,

“I’d like have him dump his baby gravy all up in my sperm sponge. Better bring a child into this world!”

He also likes to assault elderly men round the block:

#FAMILY

And every once in a while she makes a post like this, showing what he’s allegedly done to her:

So naturally she’s still with him.

Oh, and she gets in Facebook fights a lot. And since she’s wicked smart and totally NOT a junkie she always makes sure she only writes thoughtful and measured responses. Like the other day when she got into an argument with a black woman who she wanted to fight, and she dropped this bomb:

Bitch she’s fare from a cop caller!!! Mostly cab “fare” though, because I have a hard time believing she can afford a car. Also this:

“Why do black people think there so tough cuz of the nasty color of there skin.”

I don’t know if I’ve seen people fuck up two versions of there/they’re/their in one phrase. But when your idea of a vacation is getting a bag from Diego and passing out under a bridge, anything is possible.

Anyway, this was a wicked smart thing to do obviously. It’s not like racism is a sensitive topic right now or anything like that. Better go ahead and call darker skin pigmentation a “nasty color of skin.” That should end well.

After a couple people started to publicly shame her she thought it would be a good idea to start messaging them with well thought out rants like this:

Pardon her run-on sentences. Keep in mind, she is pregnant, so periods are hard to come by these days.

Can’t wait till Uncle Turtleboy does the all caps voice with this rant on Turtleboy Live!! Can we get this chick on the show? If you’re reading this Jenn, I feel like you should have a chance to explain yourself to people reading this. As always, if you get roasted on Turtleboy you do have the right to redemption and are ALWAYS allowed on Turtleboy Live. Message us on Facebook so we can arrange for you to come on. You won’t Jennifer!!

“U MUST BE OUT YOUR BLACK CRISPY ASS MIND BITCH U SCARY ASS HOE YOU LOOK LIKE ur at least 55 yrs old w ur old lady perm”

Oh yea, that should help your reputation. Message a black chick, call her “crispy,” and give her your address so you can meet up for a fight. Oh, and just a reminder that she is in fact pregnant.

Nothing is better for a baby than fighting and tattoos!

Soon other people commenting on the post started getting messages:

Oh good, her father owns a company. And now she’s driving 45 minutes to fight another woman who had unsavory things to say about her racist commentary. This is a perfectly normal thing for a pregnant woman to do.

She’s gonna get the last laugh though because Daddy’s business is a multi-million dollar enterprise that allows her to go on vacations once a month to the Bahamas or Cancun or……wherever:

Not only is her Daddy a successful business owner, he’s also a detective for the Boston PD, and she’s FARFRO RACIST!!

When she attended Norwood High School she was “kinda a BIG DEAL BOO”

Back in the day she “ran shit”

And by “ran shit,” she means, “went through my Dad’s medicine cabinet and sold all his prescription drugs to freshmen.” FACTTTT HOE!!! And obviously her high school popularity has paid enormous dividends. Who’s laughing now BOO???

Unlike a lot of people who write racist shit on Facebook, she wasn’t embracing it. Instead she went into denial and damage control mode by adding the “I stand against racism” filter to her profile picture:

Yup, that should fix it!

Up next was updating her status about “jumping to conclusions”

And messaging strangers to show off all her black friends:

Oh, and apparently if you bend the brim of “The Hat,” it doesn’t affect “The Hat’s” magical ratchet powers:

You’re still a gutterslug with a curved brim on your Chicago Bulls hat. Who knew? Must be the tittoo.

Plus, she wants to be a black model when she grows up:

So how can she be racist? It’s not like she routinely drops n bombs on her Facebook page:

For the record I don’t think this chick is an actual racist. She’s just a crackhead with a limited vocabulary and no filter. To me a racist is someone who deep down inside truly believes that people with different skin colors are racially inferior. This chick just uses offensive racial language for shock value in her frequent Facebook beefs because she’s not crafty enough to come up with better insults. To me the more disturbing part is that she’s pregnant. Ya know, since she’s trying to fight everyone and their mother on the Facebook machine.

 

 

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26 Comment(s)
  • DudeRanchStripClub
    July 9, 2020 at 8:59 am

    “Pardon her run-on sentences. Keep in mind, she is pregnant, so periods are hard to come by these days.”

    **Chef Kiss**

  • Jesus
    July 8, 2020 at 10:52 am

    Reruns on a blog. LOL

    And Aiden has the nerve to say Barstool is falling part.

    • SMFH
      July 8, 2020 at 1:52 pm

      A vacation is too much to ask.

  • Noontime Sports #ItsAlwaysNoontime
    July 8, 2020 at 10:26 am

    Welcome to Wednesday, everyone!

    As usual, we hope everyone is having a great week and looking forward to the weekend, which is two days away – yay!

    Let’s kick off a brand new day with the ‘Daily Noontime’ – have an awesome day, everyone!

    Noontime’s Headlines for Wednesday, July 8, 2020

    Baseball games have begun in our home state of Massachusetts, including contests played last night by the Massachusetts Independent Baseball League (MIBL).
    If you attended last night’s game in Dedham then you witnessed an exciting 6-5 victory by Braintree.

    David Price, who helped the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in 2018, elected to sit out the upcoming baseball season. And according to Chad Finn of the Boston Globe, he “was right.”
    I certainly agree with Price – do you really want to play baseball during a pandemic, especially professional baseball? I am fine with local baseball being played safely, but I just don’t know how Major League Baseball (MLB) is going to play games this summer.

    Again, this just my two-cents (above!).

    We learned yesterday that MIT will not play fall sports this year, including football. MIT will welcome back rising seniors, along with some other students, but more on who can return will be announced later this month.
    The Engineers, who compete in the New England Women’s and Men’s Athletic Conference (NEWMAC), join other New England schools that have elected to not field varsity or club sports teams this fall.

    In addition to MIT, the Centennial Conference (CC) announced yesterday that their schools will not play fall sports this year.
    Thanks for stopping by and your amazing support these past few weeks and months! We know today’s Daily Noontime is a bit shorter than normal, but that is because we are anticipating some more updates on fall sports to be announced later this morning and afternoon.

    • judge dread
      July 10, 2020 at 4:07 am

      why don’t you write a book?

  • just me again
    July 8, 2020 at 10:02 am

    Changed her FB name already hahaha -Jæ Lynn Cee- Oh and you cant beat this either

    October 13

    5:41 p.m. – Jennifer Cobb, 28, of Norwood, was arrested near the intersection of North and Washington streets and charged with operating under the influence of drugs and negligent operation of a motor vehicle.

  • bigdaddy
    July 8, 2020 at 9:34 am

    what do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes ? Nothing you have already told her twice
    Seriously that poor child stand no chance in life of ever being a productive member of society just give it an EBT card and section 8 housing now

  • Klansman
    July 8, 2020 at 9:04 am

    If you got to ask, its a nagger.
    Ratchet state of mind and lack of contribution to the functioning world are more determinate than skin-color.
    Naggers is, what naggers do.

  • Norris
    July 8, 2020 at 8:02 am

    Why all the goddamn re-runs?

    • TV Guru
      July 8, 2020 at 8:34 am

      It’s the summer….lol

  • Noontime Sports #ItsAlwaysNoontime
    July 8, 2020 at 7:28 am

    Hello Tuesday – how are you?

    We hope everyone is doing well, having a great week (thus far), and enjoying this beautiful sunshine that is currently shining through our window this morning.

    Let’s get after it today, everyone, but first, let’s enjoy a brand new ‘Daily Noontime!’

    Noontime’s Headlines for Tuesday, July 2, 2020

    The abridged 2020 Major League Baseball (MLB) schedule was released yesterday, which means our beloved Boston Red Sox will play some games this summer, beginning Friday, July 24 when they host the Baltimore Orioles.
    The Sox will play games against its American League (East) opponents, as well as the National League (East) teams.

    Following their first three games against the Orioles, the Sox will welcome the New York Mets to Boston for two games. They will then head to New York to play two more followed by a trip to the Bronx to take on the New York Yankees.

    We will know more about the Ivy League‘s plans for fall sports tomorrow, but in the meantime, there seems to be a rumor (or two) about football being punted – no pun intended! – to next spring. Is that even feasible?
    According to TheAthletic.com, the Ancient Eight, which does not compete for spots in the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) could impact if and when a college football season occurs due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

    In case you missed it, but you probably already know by now that Harvard University‘s upcoming academic year will be remote. The plan is to welcome first-year students to Cambridge in the fall and seniors in the spring.
    Additionally, the school will allow some students to study on campus during the fall and spring semesters.

    Smith College joins a growing number of local universities that are suspending its fall sports seasons for both varsity and club sports but does hope they could provide their student-athletes with some competition during the spring semester.

    The Boston Globe spoke with a few local gyms about their reopenings yesterday – are you planning to workout today? If so, your fitness center will look a lot different than it did a few months ago.

  • Bye bye sexual
    July 8, 2020 at 7:07 am

    Guys probably bi… he looks like he likes dick too. I cant be the only one who sees it. Right?

  • Yawn
    July 8, 2020 at 7:05 am

    Yea you did post about this chick before… it was a very similar story.

    • Dr Watson
      July 8, 2020 at 8:34 am

      No shit, Sherlock

  • Sleepy Joe Biden
    July 8, 2020 at 4:29 am

    A “regular” brimmed Bulls cap…Now thats what I call diversity!!

  • Sum Yung Ho
    July 8, 2020 at 3:21 am

    I’d like to request Fall River Guttermuppet re-runs. Where’s that bitch been anyway? She dead?

  • Judge dread
    July 8, 2020 at 1:35 am

    Repost the Burlington FupaSloth who nodded off with a large dunks ice coffee between her jugs. I worked in Burlington at the time and saw her almost everyday at various high traffic intersections. A co-worker sent me the TBS article about her, and boom, I’ve been hooked on the site ever since.

    • Noontime Sports #ItsAlwaysNoontime
      July 8, 2020 at 8:44 am

      She used to play basketball at Veruca College in upstate New York. We caught up with her on noontimesports.com, so happy she is following her passion!

      • Judge dread
        July 10, 2020 at 3:54 am

        look at her nest near the pheasant lane mall in nashua. it’s basically 24oz beers, syringes, and everything that you know is wrong.

        it’s a nest TBS reported on. you can’t make this shit up.

  • Roderic O’Gorman loves pedo's
    July 8, 2020 at 12:12 am

    I’m only posting for the replies.

    Roderic O’Gorman loves pedo’s
    Turtle boy should do a story on him, love to get his opinion on pedo lovers, even though Roderic is far away.

  • Hugh Mungous
    July 7, 2020 at 10:50 pm

    Stay Classy Needlewood … What a complete shit show. Keep voting for John Rogers that fucking pussy, he’ll sell you all out in a second for some more real estate deals. Where are they going to take all the junk boxes now that your hospital is closed. Hopefully they die on the way and save us all some money.

  • Before Some Other Dope Says It
    July 7, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    Turtleboy is on vacation and reposting blogs from years past.

    • Julie the Jarhead
      July 8, 2020 at 10:02 am

      Vacation? From what?

      • HUH?
        July 8, 2020 at 10:57 am

        You think cutting and pasting is easy?

  • Noah
    July 7, 2020 at 9:08 pm

    Shit. I’m too old to build another ark.

  • Kerry
    July 7, 2020 at 8:53 pm

    ‘Periods are hard to come by’. I’m dying

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