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OJ Basically Tried To Stay In Prison Today With The Show He Put On But They Paroled Him Anyway

OJ Basically Tried To Stay In Prison Today With The Show He Put On But They Paroled Him Anyway

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If you haven’t heard the news yet, the juice is loose again. As expected, OJ Simpson was granted parole after 9 years in prison for committing a crime that normally would result in probation. But since everyone knows that OK killed two people and got away with it by playing the race card better than any human being has ever played the race card before, the judge in Nevada gave him 33 years just because she could. Nevertheless, it was a done deal today that OJ was getting paroled. The only way he wouldn’t get out is if he intentionally sabotaged his own parole hearing, which is exactly what it looks like he tried to do.

For starters he told the bored perhaps one of the greatest lines I’ve ever heard:

“Nobody’s ever accused me of pulling a weapon on them.”

Wait……what? I’m pretty sure the State of California and Marcia Clark did exactly that when they tried you for a double homicide. They accused you of pulling a weapon on Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. You got out of it because the prosecution was dumb enough to assume that a jury of 12 morons from a different county would come to a just and fair decision after nine months of evidence presented at his trial. Instead they took four hours to decide that they were gonna use this opportunity to get back at racist cops like Mark Furman by letting a murderer go free.

Then there was this line, when asked about what he would do once he was paroled:

I could easily stay in Nevada, but I don’t think you guys want me here.”

Holy shit, he thinks he’s still the juice. He really thinks it’s 1995 and he can charm people the way he could back then. His life is on the line and he’s sitting there cracking jokes about the state of Nevada. “LOL, you guys probably want me out of your state, because I been known to kill one or two people from time to time!! Get it??”

Then there was the part about why he didn’t attend AA classes in prison:

“I’ve never had a problem with alcohol.”

“Well, you told us in your last hearing that you were going to attend AA.”

Yea, well, I say lots of crazy shit when I wanna get my way. Like telling people that I’m looking for the “real killers” of Nicole and Ron, which really meant that I’d be golfing and doing copious amounts of cocaine.

This was the best:

“I believe in the jury system.”

Uhhhhh yea….no shit you do. The jury system kept you out of jail for the rest of your life. A jury of your “peers” were given DNA evidence that proved your blood was at the scene of the crime, and they were like, “nah, must be racism.”

Honestly, I thought he’d come out today and give us some bullshit about how he’s changed and just wants to lead a quiet life and die with his family and blah, blah, blah. That’s literally all he had to do to get paroled. Instead he admitted he didn’t do what the parole board asked him to do, claims he never was accused of pulling a weapon on anyone, and cracked jokes about leaving Las Vegas.

But none of that mattered because he still got parole. So why did they even bother with this? Reminds me of the Shawshank Redemption with Red. That dude got denied parole every time he was serious. Then after 40 years he went in front of them and basically told them to go fuck themselves and he ended up getting parole as a result. Same thing basically happened here, except Red wasn’t a danger to society. OJ clearly is. But he’ll be back in no time. He’s got no money, and he clearly still thinks he can charm and lie his way through life and people will believe him. Only a matter of time till he fucks up again.



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11 Comment(s)
  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    July 21, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    “I’m not saying he should have killed her . . . . But I understand”

  • Hughbo Mont
    July 21, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    OJ is headed for ESPN. Perfect fit.

  • bigdaddy
    OJ Simpson
    July 21, 2017 at 9:10 am

    I found the real killer I looked in the mirror and said ” gotcha”

  • Shameeka
    July 21, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Hertz again or Pioneer fried chicken. The later went under. Maybe Buck Knife ?

  • They call me Ponch
    July 20, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    When’s the next Naked Gun?

  • bigdaddy
    July 20, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Oh good now he continue the search for the real killers of his wife

  • FatFingr Lou
    July 20, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Yeah! NFL HOF

    Bill’s… hahahaha.

    Pat’s…Hernandez offed himself when he finally admitted he was worthless

  • Chip Striker
    July 20, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    October 1st is the earliest he can get out. Plenty of time for Ron Goldman to find a nice grassy knoll to near the exit and do what he should have done 20 plus years ago.

  • July 20, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Actually, O.J. has money. Lots of it. His NFL pension is $25,000 a month, which he has been receiving since he retired. One fun fact about pensions is that they cannot be levied as part of a settlement, which is why the Browns couldn’t get to it and had to settle for all the possessions from the Rockingham house. They remain severely pissed about his pension, as an aside. So, yeah, he has lots of money.

  • Renee's Chin Drippings
    July 20, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Actually, he has his NFL pension, which is exempt from the Goldman’s judgement against him.

    To be fair to OJ, while he did get off in the Simpson murder, he was railroaded in the Nevada case. To this day I do not understand how you can be convicted of armed robbery of property which was stolen from you in the first place.

    I’m waiting for the OJ/Casey Anthony porn video

  • July 20, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Because the state doesn’t want him to get old and die on their dime. That’s why

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