More Old Worcester People Complain About Kids Being Wussies

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So today we posted our blog about the kids who stand outside Liberty Tax in Statue of Liberty costumes in subzero temperatures because they don’t wanna get fired from their minimum wage jobs, onto the “Your Probably From Worcester MA If….” Facebook page. This was basically a calling card for the most hilarious and predictable yahoos on Facebook to come out in full force – the “back in my day” crew. And they were FANTASTIC!!

Look, I’m well aware that these kids don’t have to work there. No one’s got a gun to their head. I have no problem with Liberty Tax giving them this job. But it’s basic human decency to have a temperature cut off for doing this job. Like, when it’s 3 degrees outside, maybe they can do something else? Because all you’re really doing at that point is proving that you have control over a bunch of easily exploitable teenagers. Congratulations. You obviously have a gigantic capitalist penis. We’re all very impressed.

But of course right on cue every person who complains when school is cancelled because they walked up hill both ways in the middle of the Blizzard of 1937 on their way to Commerce High showed up in full force with hilarious anecdotes. Here are some of my favorites…

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Yes genius, you’re right. That girl does seem to be loving it. That’s because she lives in Virginia, and as was noted in the blog, this is not what most of the statues of liberty look like at work.


I know it’s very confusing, but we have a shitload of snow in Worcester right now. This is what the Liberty Tax on Main Street looks like:


Yea, she looks like she’s having a blast. Oh yea, and anyone who goes into Liberty Tax to get their taxes done because some kid in a costume waved at them is a moron.

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So let me get this straight. Exploiting teenagers just because you can is ethically responsible because apparently America is still fighting the Korean War in a bloody stalemate at the 38th parallel? How old is this guy?

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Yup, saw that one coming. The “U” word. It’s only a matter of time now until someone calls me a communist for sympathizing with some poor kid waving at Webster Square traffic in the freezing cold for three hours.

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Yea puss-bags!! If you don’t like your working conditions then your only option is to join the army. Murica.

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I love sentences like this. It’s like trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together. It’s all about figuring out where one thought begins and the other ones ends. Sure, most of us use periods or commas to do that, but where’s the fun in that? I’m sure if these kids thought they were signing up for that “Pacific” job they were expecting better weather than this. I guess this was all just a big misunderstanding.

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Yea, standing up for human beings instead of cats is completely backwards logic. Cats are people too. Also, medical research is mean.

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Back in my day!!! And schlepping? Guaranteed this guy thinks Nickelodeon is a machine that plays the latest Benny Goodman record.

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When you can’t spell and you didn’t read the blog you’re referencing, just use all capital letters and no one will notice that you have no idea what you’re talking about. We’ll all just imagine you yelling it and think you know what you’re talking about.

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Yea, anyone who doesn’t wanna work in a shitty job should just move onto the next shitty job. Why point out that some chiselers who are charging people $500 to do their taxes are blatantly exploiting a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds? If they don’t like it they can go get another job. Like lighting themselves on fire for my amusement, or diving to the bottom of Bell Pond to get pennies that I threw down there on purpose, or digging holes and then watching me fill them back in just to be a dick. You don’t like it? Tough shit. Back in my day we schlepped newspapers till the cows came home. Hey kids, if you work enough shitty jobs in three degree weather then you could grow up to become this guy:


Who says dreams don’t come true? Then there’s this guy….

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Nine years old and working the corner so he can put supper on the table for Mom? Holy smokes, how old is this guy??? Apparently he’s been around since before child labor laws existed. Was he one of those punk kids who tried unionizing against Joe Pulitzer in Newsies? I guarantee this guy thinks we’ve had WAYY too many snow days this year.

I guess the moral of the story here is pretty simple. If you don’t put your body through unnecessary pain at the lowest wage possible then you’re the wussification of America. God bless you people. Never stop with your hilarious, fabricated tall tales about your trials and tribulations that made you into the Internet blowhards you are today.

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10 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    February 4, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    That last dude went the full opposite of the “no punctuation” crowd and started throwing periods in all willy-nilly.

  • Steve
    February 4, 2015 at 10:25 am

    What ever happened to Worcester giving you so many topics to work with? Re-running the same story multiple times in one day is pretty sad journalism. Especially when you claim to support the small businesses over big business….and here you are trying to bring down what actually are small business owners.

    • Finnish Goalie
      February 4, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      They’re franchisees.

      I’d rather go to the CPA in practice for him/herself.

    • J
      February 6, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      Liberty Tax is not a small business

  • motherofexiles
    February 4, 2015 at 9:53 am

    Exploiting broke kids to make money off their discomfiture….hmmph. Back in MY day, we oh wait…that’s been going on for centuries. The horrorshow grinds on and on behind the peppermint sitcom facade your parents believed in and expect you to believe in. Suck it up, kid. Daddy needs a new Nissan. Starve for daddy.

  • Turtleboysmomsass
    February 4, 2015 at 8:33 am

    Now go put your Statue of Liberty costume on and start waving to traffic, turtle twat.

    • Wabbitt
      February 4, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      If you’re going to insult him, at least come up with something original. Turtle twat has been done to death.

  • Maggie the Cat
    February 4, 2015 at 8:02 am

    One would hope and pray that this is the kind of job that makes these kids say, “I’m never doing another job like this; I’m actually going to finish high school, maybe go to college, and get a decent job.”

  • Turtleboysmomsass
    February 4, 2015 at 12:01 am

    job. Look up what “job”means

    • February 4, 2015 at 12:09 am

      Looks like someone’s butthurt about his inaugural appearance on Turtleboy.

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