Hoodrat Heroes

Pawtucket Pork Pancake Wants You To Get His 5 Crotch Fruits Christmas Gifts Because The SSI And Food Stamps He Gets For Not Working Aren’t Enough

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I can’t wait for Christmas to be over so I have to stop seeing whiny posts like this:

To review. This grown man is already collecting from the government, has to spend his “income” on rent, his girlfriend allegedly lost her job and has leukemia, and now he wants the Internet to pay for his five crotch fruit’s to have a Christmas.

This is what we’re dealing with here.

He seems trustworthy. I’m not saying that she doesn’t have leukemia, I just generally am skeptical of Internet scams, particularly when it’s coming from a guy whose face is a Goddamn Etch A Sketch. He’s provided no evidence that she is, nor has he provided any sort of background about why he can’t work, why he collects SSI, or how he cares for his kids during the 11 months of the year when it’s not Christmas begging season.

God do I hate this. I hate the fact we live in a world where men no longer have shame. Where they see nothing wrong with going on a public forum and emasculating themselves by announcing to the world that they cannot take care of the families they created. Not only that, he starts it off by announcing that he’s on SSI, which won’t be around when most of us are older to cash in on what we’ve contributed to it, because people like this Pawtucket Pork Pancake have taken it all.

Remember when men didn’t want handouts because they felt human emotions like “pride” and “shame?” Good times.

He’s been posting on this Attleboro page a billion times:

And according to some people his aunt called him out on it on another yard sale page.

Seriously, why can’t this cheddar poon work?

He can stand up. His hands are functional. He can afford to go to concerts. He can get a job doing something. But instead we pay him to sit on his ass all day as he guilts other people into making sure that his kids don’t go without on Christmas morning.

New rule – if you can’t afford to pay for your kids to have the basics without begging for help from strangers on Facebook, then you don’t get to keep your kids. This shouldn’t be a controversial opinion. It’s common sense.

He’s got plenty of money for that flat screen though.

It’s cool because he feeds the homeless, and he isn’t collecting from the government:

Oh yea, EBT and SSI grow on the welfare tree. No government assistance required.

And all those tattooes? Just like every ratchet we’ve ever criticized for having tattoo money but no money to pay their bills, he claims he got his for free:

Evidently there’s a tattoo fairy going around giving every lowlife we blog about unlimited free tats for life.

He’s got no shortage of excuses.

No, actually we’re not going to be in the same boat as you. I don’t plan on turning my face into a paint by numbers book. Nor do I plan on sitting on my ass all day collecting SSI because I claim that my legs don’t work, even though my legs clearly work in most pictures I put on Facebook.

And sorry Dickasso, but I will definitely be judging you and others like you, because that’s what happens when you put yourself out there publicly like this. You open yourself up to public criticism and skepticism.

But of course people like this do this because they prey on people’s good will.

So when Philip V. Prentiss started calling him out on his bullshit he begged the admins to censor Phil.

Oh no, not mean things!! We can’t have mean things on the Internet!!

Hey Earlene, if I lose my job I’ll find a new one, and if I become disabled I’ll collect SSI if necessary and try to get a job that suits my physical disabilities. What I won’t do is whine about not getting enough government handouts and guilt strangers into being the provider I’m not man enough to be.

Of course it’s not surprising that he hopes other people fall for his scam, since he has a tendency to fall for many scams we’ve already debunked on Turtleboy.


I don’t wanna demonize all people who need help at the holidays. I’m not a monster. I just draw the line when it’s a grown man who clearly just doesn’t feel like working who uses his crotch fruit to try to guilt us into doing the job he’s clearly unfit to do.

29 Comment(s)
  • mizzbigbooty92688
    Lost cause
    November 30, 2018 at 12:15 am

    This sounds like complete bullshit. Your$800 check pays your rent so how do you pay your gas, electric, phone, cable, car insurance, and whatever bills you have? And when you collect ssi you can work up to 20 hours a week. Your wife/ girlfriend looks very capable of working even if it’s just part time and your kids are old enough to work. What did people do before Facebook and gofundme was around? How did you fukrs get help then?

  • Dat face
    November 27, 2018 at 5:31 am

    I absolutely believe those tattoos were free, at most traded for a pack of newports. 

  • Shawn Houghton
    November 26, 2018 at 10:39 pm

    All of this can’t be true. My toilet paper did a great job today and it was covered in shit too

  • Ray Patriarca
    ...only his mother could love.
    November 26, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    Hey, you fat tub of whale-shit: Get a job !!
    Oh, that’s right: you can’t.
    Who in glorious fuck would hire someone who looks like that?
    Jesus H. Fucking Christ ! You look like a walking freak-show.
    Your legs don’t work?
    Here’s a solution: put down the Pringles can, get off the couch, and take a walk longer than to the refrigerator, you fat fuck !
    Have you know self respect?
    You obviously have enough energy to fuck….with all those kiddies.
    Fuck less and work more.
    I’m already paying enough $$ to your useless ass.
    Get a job and buy your kids a gift.
    Merry Christmas !!

    November 26, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    If there was ever an article whose pictures needed a trigger warning, it was this one.

  • General Burkhalter
    November 26, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    His face looks the graffiti on a desk in a special needs middle school classroom…

    For God’s sake man – have some #%*-ing self respect!

  • Amy Marks
    Amy M
    November 26, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    He collects SSI, not even SSDI, probably because he never worked enough quarters to get that. And he has FIVE kids? Why so many? And of course, the mother is his girlfriend , not wife. And he says he gets only food stamps and SSI? I bet he also gets fuel assistance, phone assistance and “free” health care for him, his girlfriend and his born out of wedlock children. He asks what we would do if we became disabled? Well, we worked enough quarters to get SSDI, not SSI. And also, most of us have short and long term disability that we pay every month, not to mention pensions and 401k’s.

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      November 26, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Amy, you’re completely right! I do however want to point out you have SSI and SSDI backwards. SSI = social security insurance. Which yes you have to work for and put money into. It’s for the normal tax paying folk like you & I.
      SSDI = social security disability insurance. You do not have to work to get ssdi. You have to be physically or mentally handicapped or both to get ssdi. I’m in no way trying to call you out or be a prick. I just want you to see the mix up and understand. Have a wonderful night & happy holidays!

      • Amy Marks
        Amy M
        November 26, 2018 at 7:14 pm

        Got it. Thanks.

  • Yuck
    November 26, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Prison tats. And no, they were not free.

    • He be my bitch
      November 27, 2018 at 7:53 am

      He sucked a lot of cock in the can and took cock in the can for them tats.

    November 26, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    Waitttttttt a fucking moment there shell shocker! I honestly 100% emoji believe him when he said he did not pay for any those tattoos! I do not believe for one moment he paid for them, not one. If this walking chode paid for one of those tattoos they definitely would not look so laugh out loud, fucked up? Haha could you imagine, walking into a legitimate tattoo parlor and asking for a face with wings on your face and walking out having a dick with wings on your face haha funny shit. I think he let one of his homies use him for practice. You definitely don’t get tattoos that look like that when you pay. Maybe he paid in dope then lmao looks like someone was nodding off trying to tattoo that poor excuse for a shooting star or dream catcher.

    On another note, when did making bad decisions in life (face tattoos, 5 kids, fat ugly Heffa lump) qualify a person for SSI? Ok, ok let’s be real here, by the looks of things he’s definitely on ssdi.
    In any fucking case, when did making bad decisions qualify a person for any type of SSI? If that’s all I have too do to not work too pay for these idiots. then I’m going to sit here and seriously contemplate making bad decisions my self.

    Lol could you imagine the SSI interview for this bag of dicks?

    SSI worker: #999.999.999.999

    Him: thats meeeeee

    SSI worker: looks down at him, oooh nice fave ink sir.

    Him: awesome you like that ink, shits tight yo’s.

    SSI worker: you’re all set

    Him: I’m all set that’s it?

    SSI worker: yes you’re all set you have been approved. You will receive 800.00 on the first of every month.

    Him: really that’s great

    SSI worker: mumbles under their breath. Yeah you must be all sorts of fucked up and retartedly disabled to allow anyone to tattoo your face. Let alone those tattoos.

    Him: what was that?

    SSI worker: nothing sir I just really love your ink. It so warm and welcome. Good luck!

    Hey fuck stain. Your poor excuse for a mother should have swallowed you.

    If you need a donation for Christmas for your family. I’ve got a family size bag of romaine lettuce I could donate to you!

    I dont give a fuck who you are. If you value and actually care about your family, friends, community and future of this country. You need to vote red from now on, because if you dont, You get scabs like this little fuck tard and the likes. The only way to get rid of the nanny state and make sure your tax dollars dont go to trash monkies like this, is to stop voting blue in future elections!

    • Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant
      November 26, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      “If you need a donation for Christmas for your family. I’ve got a family size bag of romaine lettuce I could donate to you!“

      ….an instant classic!


  • salt n peppa 40 yr old
    November 26, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Imagine having 5 kids, no job, a sick wife and all the pressure that goes along with trying to raise a family and be a good role model for your kids. I know i said imagine, because this guy doesn’t have a care in the world, but i am jealous as fuck that this dude who’s probably about 40 give or take and doesn’t have any gray hair. Also a full head of hair too. That lucky prick

  • Heather
    November 26, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Two of the children are hers and she doesn’t have custody. My husband and I have custody of the son and her daughter lives with her father and stepmother also. There is more to him that you don’t know and my stepson isn’t allowed near him. To use the leukemia card is disgusting. Yes she does have it but it isn’t the type that is aggressive she had been dealing with it for years. I would never use that shit to get attention. They both made choices in their lives to be where they are at. It’s embarrassing for the kids especially when the oldest see this kind of stuff. I understand needing help but this is too much….

  • Scrub a Dub
    November 26, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    I’ve seen some shitbags on here but he is one of the ugliest dirty looking bastards I’ve seen here. Throw a bar of soap and some job applications at him and the Wookie he’s banging and watch them melt

  • XXX
    November 26, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    The real “Purge” is long overdue.

    This fat shit of a walking doodle is first. Feed him to animals.

  • LocalYokel
    November 26, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    Well god damn me – is that G.G. Allin’s son?

  • Clitty Litter
    November 26, 2018 at 4:03 pm


  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 26, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    Fuck off scumbag. You get 100% more than you should already from my taxes

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      November 26, 2018 at 3:48 pm

      And tell your fat skank sweetiepie who has probably fucked 300+ dudes already in her lifetime to fuck off too

  • Stephen Covey
    November 26, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    Couple of habits of highly effective people:
    They learn how to spell so they don’t appear to be a fucking idiot.
    They take pride in their personal appearance,

  • I Do Dream Big and You Can Too!
    November 26, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    Do you ever wonder if these people read these articles about themselves and then promptly get their shit together out of sheer embarrassment?! Like, it finally dawns on them, “Oh my God. What in the actual fuck am I doing? I’m such a fucking lazy useless piece of shit idiot with these stupid face tats.. I need to be a better person.. thank you Turtleboy!”

    • Osiris
      November 26, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      I sense “sheer embarrassment” went out the window after his 47th facial tattoo.

  • LowLife
    November 26, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    Looks like he let his kids use him as a coloring book. His stomach looks like he eats plenty. Get a job like the rest of us looser and stop leeching of us. Stop having babies you can’t afford.

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    November 26, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    I believe he got those tats for free. Yuk. Hey, dude, I’ll give free tats if you let me practice on your face. It’s so sad that the only choice you don’t have in life is your parents. Poor kids.

  • Osiris
    November 26, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Reality check: who would hire that guy with that face???
    If you wanted to have a good job that allows you to support your children at some point in your life, you should probably not cover your face with tattoos.

    • deflateddoritodinks
      November 26, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      Why do you think he would want a job? LOL!

    • z
      November 26, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      Hey, lay off!!!
      Those tats raise his Sef O’Steam. He feels good because of them. Consider the mess he would be without them.

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