Politics

Petty Is Bragging That Worcester And Springfield Made Fake Top 100 US Cities List, But Wait Until You See Who We Lost To

Petty Is Bragging That Worcester And Springfield Made Fake Top 100 US Cities List, But Wait Until You See Who We Lost To

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So we saw this on the Facebook machine last week:

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Springfield AND Worcester are both ranked in the Top 100 places live in America list? Sounds legit. Those are both magical lands of splendor and opportunity!! I know when I think of Springfield, the first thing that comes to mind is, “great place to live!!!” Of course Joe Petty was loving it, as were his legion of zombie followers:

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If you say Tea Party three times and tap your feet together then someone will magically shovel the snow in front of Sarai Rivera’s abandoned church.

First of all, there’s 100 cities on this list, but only about 110 even qualify to be on it because it’s based on population. So literally 10 cities were left off. Yay for not making the crappiest 10!!! In your face Little Rock!!! We finished in 65th, which puts us below the halfway point. Don’t let facts get in the way of a good Petty lovefest though.

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And just to show you how blindly stupid all of the above people are, here’s some of the cities that made the list:

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Washington DC, home to violent teenagers who viciously attack decorated marines outside of McDonalds for not saying “black lives matter.” Magical place indeed.

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Ah yes, Youngstown, Ohio. A city so fine that ESPN did a 30 for 30 on how hard it is for athletes to escape Youngstown, Ohio.

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Birmginham and Jackson. I remember learning about those places when we covered the civil rights movement in school.

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Atlanta. Joe Petty and his legion of morons are celebrating finishing BEHIND Atlanta, which is the sixth most violent city in the United States. 

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This list we made is so exclusive that they ran out of cities at the end and threw in San Juan, Puerto Rico. What an honor. Sure, San Juan has insane amounts of poverty, but it’s still an honor to be on the same list as them.

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So we lost to Hartford but we beat New Haven. What an accomplishment!! Especially when you look at the list of the Top 10 most violent cities in Connecticut:

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Hartford is beautiful in the summer time:

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And New Haven has a lovely underground, underage MMA scene:

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LOL. Can’t make this stuff up.

Tattoos Massachusetts

Look who else beat us:

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This picture right here is so Buffalo it hurts:

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The Godless, depressing city of Buffalo. We lost to Goddamn BUFFALO and our Mayor is cheering about it.

But wait, there’s more:

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Chicago. Home to a record breaking amount of murders this last summer.

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We BEAT THEM!!! Oh, and New Orleans, a city that was nearly wiped out entirely by a hurricane and is still recovering from it.

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Speaking of murder……

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Baltimore. Goddamn BALTIMORE was two spots behind us. A city so nice that they based an award winning HBO show (The Wire) on it’s rampant drug dealing and gang activity. Here are some of my favorite photographs from Baltimore this past year:

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We beat them!!! In your face Baltimore!!!!

And last but not least….

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If you ever find yourself saying, “we beat Cleveland AND Detroit” in anything, including football, then you are the definition of a lowered expectation dooshnozzle. I don’t know if I could pick two cities more depressing to be associated with than those two gems right there. Cleveland is really on the rise:

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And Detroit? What’s not to like?

A section of vacant stores is shown in Detroit, Wednesday, July 27, 2011. Detroit’s mayor unveiled a plan that could determine what the city looks like as it fights for vitality, announcing that neighborhoods will receive different kinds of services depending on the condition of homes, how many people live there and the level of blight. His plan isn’t really about shrinking Detroit _ the 139-square-mile city’s boundaries aren’t receding. He instead wants to encourage redistribution of what’s left of Detroit’s population into areas where people still live, where houses aren’t about to cave in and where the city’s scant resources won’t be spread dangerously thin. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

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So yea, this was just more typical nonsense cheerleading from the propaganda machine. Is Worcester the worst place in America? Nope. But to act like we’re special because we made some stupid list that and lost to a bunch of run down dumps is the most bootleg shit we’ve ever seen. Smart people know they’re full of shit. Dumb people do stuff like this:

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Don’t be dumb. Be smart like Turtleboy.

 

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Tattoos Massachusetts

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11 Comment(s)
  • Reddog
    March 7, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Were those pics in Baltimore of a BLM rally? Those people who are destroying city property should all be in jail. I realize they are all black, does that make me racist or just observant?

  • Watch
    March 7, 2016 at 7:39 am

    Woo is trying hard to catch the illness that gave Detroit its fatal disease. First step: give one political party complete control of all power and public money, then sit back and watch the magic happen.

  • Reddog
    March 7, 2016 at 1:46 am

    Yes,been having problems last couple days.

  • BobnMic
    March 7, 2016 at 12:52 am

    Quick question to you guys. Are you having problems getting on this web site normally? I know that seems weird since I am here right now but I got here through another means and not Turtleboysports.com. It could be me. I could be losing it.

    • Rational person
      March 7, 2016 at 8:26 am

      I periodically have problems but not in the last week or so.

    • kittykicker
      March 7, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Yes, every so often. Usually if I close out the app and then start over it works!

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      March 7, 2016 at 10:47 am

      Seems to be more frequent on my laptop vs. mobile device. I have seen time periods where the site was down from a laptop based browser, but works just fine from my Android phone. It occurred a lot while they were transitioning to the new ISP, but has improved for the most part.

  • Tudor turtle
    March 7, 2016 at 12:28 am

    I’m curious. Where did Providence, RI fall on that list?

    • Rational person
      March 7, 2016 at 8:25 am

      #92

      • Devils Mouthpiece
        March 7, 2016 at 10:43 am

        #92, heh. I would live in PVD waaaaaay before Worcester any day. That, and I flushed Springfield down the bowl first thing this am.

        That’s one f’d up and bogus list.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 7, 2016 at 12:10 am

    Petty is just grasping at straws, trying to keep the engine of the Machine running so that Sarai can be mayor next year. And, of course, he can get bumped up to some do nothing job in Washington. Or maybe Beacon Hill.

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