Philly St. Joe’s Fans Show St. Bonnie’s What Real Fans Do When Their Team Beats UMass

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Well, it was a nice ride while it lasted, but it seems like it’s back to reality for UMass basketball. You simply can’t lose back to back games to St. Bonaventure and St. Joe’s and be taken seriously on a national level. Sorry, but after yesterday’s 73-68 loss UMass is no longer in the conversation as a Top 25 team. They’re barely an NCAA tournament team at this point.

Tyler Bergantino officially sucks and is useless. Once again he provided zero points off the bench after all the starters got into foul trouble. Again. Cady Lalanne plays soft as shit for someone his size. He’s got all the talent in the world and doesn’t use any of it. And most importantly, it’s time for UMass fans everywhere to just admit that Derek Kellogg just isn’t the kind of coach you wanna hitch your wagon to. He’s a whole lot of what he is. He’s good enough to put you on the bubble every year, but not good enough to bring you to the next level. If this team is going to do any damage in the tournament this year it will have to be in spite of their coach.

Why does UMass come out so flat in every game where the opponent isn’t Fordham? Sorry, but that one’s on the coach. It’s his job to motivate the players and get the most out of them for 40 minutes. Luckily St. Joe’s coach Phil Martelli is a pretty terrible coach too. How do you blow a 16 point halftime lead like that? It didn’t even seem like UMass was doing anything special. His team just blew it. Luckily DK bailed him out at the end of the game with some of the worst coaching you will ever see.

Exhibit A: Eight seconds of nothing.

With Umass down by two points and 30 seconds left to play, you have two options. 1) Try to get a quick layup and tie the game. If you miss then you can try to get the rebound or at least foul to draw the game out. The clock is your enemy at that point. Value every single second. 2) Call timeout and set up a play. Whatever you do, don’t do this:

What the hell was he thinning there? He didn’t wanna call a timeout with 30 seconds to go, but he did with 22? Rookie move coach. Then when they called the timeout, he probably should’ve like, maybe, called a play? Instead Exhibit B happened: Worst Play Call Ever. 

What the hell was that abortion? What did they talk about during the timeout? “Alright Chaz, you’re gonna dribble into four guys, then you’re gonna dump the ball off to our six foot shooting guard and have him go baseline. From there, just improvise and see what happens.”


It wasn’t only DK’s fault though. The refs continued to be a disgrace to humanity. UMass had 21 foul shots. St. Joe’s had 40. How can that even be considered a fairly called game? 40 to 21? Seriously? Lalanne, Chaz, Putney and Sampson all were playing with four fouls. How does that happen? Are you telling me that UMass just commits twice as many fouls as the other team every single game?


Before this coaching debacle though UMass had a chance to take the lead. Chaz missed a free throw and Putney came down with it. It was probably the easiest layup a 6’9″ college basketball player with a 10 foot wing span could possibly hit. Somehow though UMass managed to miss not one, not two, but three point blank layups in a row. First by Putney..


Then Trey Davis…


Then Sampson…


What. A. Disaster.

I’ve never been to St. Joe’s gym, but I’ve been to Philly a number of times. All the stereotypes about Philly fans being complete animals are 100% true. They’re different from Buffalo fans in many ways though. Ya see, Philly is more like a real city, and unlike St. Bonaventure, St. Joe’s is a real school. They’ve been ranked #1 in the country before. Most people know where they’re from. So their fans EXPECT to beat a team like UMass. When they beat us yesterday no one rushed the court. Why would they? They were two point favorites. They’ve been there before. The team’s comments after the game said it all:

Leading scorer Hilal Kanacevic: “Take nothing away from UMass but we played them already and we almost beat them. We feel like we should have beat them. I don’t feel like it’s an upset.”

Coach Martelli: “I’m delighted we didn’t storm the court or anything like that. That’s not necessary.”

Take notes St. Bonaventure. That’s why they’re a real program and you’re a poop colored team from Buffalo. And while your fans are more concerned with setting the record straight on geography and the history of the Franciscan Friars, St. Joe’s fans are doing what they do best: being loud, obnoxious Philadelphians. The guy sitting behind Steve Lappas on TV last night was pretty much as Philly as you can get. Picking fights with the ref like it was his job:

Word of advice to the referee: Do not make eye contact with the abrasive and grizzled Philly fan sitting behind Steve Lappas. If you feed the animals they will keep coming back. Don’t poke the bear. Apparently the ref didn’t wanna take my advice:

I could listen to that guy yell at the ref all day. You see that Bonnie’s fans? That’s what fans of real schools act like. Something you will never, ever be.

UMass has three more games until the real part of their schedule starts. Being 17-4 is a complete downer, but being 20-4 going into the meat of their schedule would give me a little more confidence. Quite frankly they need to demolish LaSalle at home on Wednesday, facialize URI(NE) on the road next weekend, and not f*** around with George Mason at home after that. A loss to any of those teams is simply unacceptable. Then the real schedule starts. George Washington, VCU, and eventually St. Louis. All of those are tournament teams. You can’t have more than six losses going into Brooklyn for the Atlantic 10 Tournament. These are must wins. We’ll see if they can help TurtleBoy get his UMass confidence back.

Go U!!

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1 Comment(s)
  • Blong
    February 3, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    No comments from the Bonnie’s fans??

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