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Plymouth Cootermuff Picks Worst Cover Photo In The History Of GoFundMe Scams So She Tries Selling All Her Shit Because Diego’s Got The New Package

Plymouth Cootermuff Picks Worst Cover Photo In The History Of GoFundMe Scams So She Tries Selling All Her Shit Because Diego’s Got The New Package

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Here’s your GoFundMe scam of the day out of Plymouth…..

Yo Kathleen Why You Keep Righting Like Dis?

Can I just say what a glorious choice of picture this is for her GoFundMe cover photo?

That should be hung in the Louvre so art critics from all over the world could come and try to interpret the meaning of it:

  • Why is this woman not looking at the camera, since she’s clearly posing for a photograph?
  • How long has she had the “disease?”
  • What is up with her eyes?
  • How much?
  • Is she sad because she’s all out of Newport Lights, or is she just so high she can’t stop staring at the carpet?
  • Who has reached the point in their life where they’d find themselves alone in an apartment with this woman for the purpose of photographing her?
  • Do she have any food stamps I could buy off of her?

Although when I look through her other glamour photos it becomes clear that it might actually be her best picture ever:

And she recently changed the photo from the original GoFundMe, and changed around the wording of the title:

Yea, I’d probably go with the standing one too.

Anyway, she wants $3,000 for her “Christmas help” for her 14 year old daughter, a week before Christmas. The rest of the money will go towards moving expenses, as she lives in the Algonquin projects in the part of Plymouth where even the Pilgrims refused to visit. She says she can’t work because of a very serious back injury, that she’s “looking into surgery for,” and the can is on a floor above her.

But yet according to one of her three Facebook pages, she collects social security for  living:

She’s originally from Brockton. Color me shocked.

Oh, and from some of the comments she’s made on her Facebook page, it looks like her daughter doesn’t actually live with her. Just another junkbox using their child to try to score their next fix. Not that you couldn’t figure out that this woman right here:

Is clearly not capable of raising a child at the moment.

But the GFM hasn’t been going as planned, so she started to get entrepreneurial instead. What’s she selling? Based on the picture she chose, it appears as if she’s selling herself:

Either that or chlamydia.

She’s apparently desperate to sell though, because she also posted this bag for sale:

For $25.

And just a few minutes later…..

Down to $15. Which can only mean one thing – Diego’s supply is getting low.

And for anyone who’s thinking about judging her based on the fact that she looks like life drove over her in a Mack truck, went in reverse, and then defecated on her soul, just remember that only God can judge!!

Oh, I have a general idea of what you’ve been through Kathleen. It involves a lot of missed court dates, track marks, and raw dog.

OK, sorry. Someone’s sensitive.

No fucking clue Kathleen.  All I know is, the next time you run a GoFundMe scam, try to pick a cover photo that doesn’t make you like a bag of charred assholes.

20 Comment(s)
  • Kerri Bishop
    December 24, 2017 at 1:41 am

    I want to start a go fund me to clothe all the naked mattresses in this world. Before I found the turtle I never realized what a universal problem this is. Where are all the mattress pads, the sheets, and blankets???

    • December 24, 2017 at 9:29 am

      Well if she has a choice to spend 40$ on sheets, or a bag of dope, she is not going to buy the sheets. Every blanket or sheet set she owns has multiple burn holes in them from all the nodding out on dope while smoking. It is very sad, but still a fact none the less. The dope keeps her warm at night. While slowly killing her. Remember the only person that can truly help Kathleen is Kathleen. She has to reach the point where she has had enough. Everyday this woman takes more days off her life. It’s really sad. Want to be really shocked. This woman isn’t even 30 yet. Talk about scary right

  • Turd Reversalist
    December 23, 2017 at 3:15 am

    Not for me.
    Not for the team.
    Not even for Justice.
    The Rod shall remain holstered in this case.
    She should have Corrosive Hazard warning placards on her skivvies.
    T.R. doesn’t do Skeletor’s Sister, nuh uhh.

  • BL. Flame
    December 22, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    She looks like a female Marilynn Manson (before makeup call). Wouldn’t it be easier (HEY KIDS) easier to just stay in school, finish high-school, get a job flipping burgers, manage to find yourself in community-college taking something other than nothing, busting your ass to get into entry-level, and then letting it go from there? (Bonus: Don’t give your kisses away cheaply). Trust me, you’ll get much more mileage out of a 401(K) than you will a retirement account of tattoos. 401(K)s are cool. Tattoos, not so much.

  • gingers strike again
    December 22, 2017 at 5:44 pm

    Ode to Wendy the ginger junkie whore, how many ginger women can a society withstand?

  • They call me Ponch
    December 22, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Who painted the flesh tone on the skeleton?


  • vicxh
    December 22, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    OMG. nobody should. even if you are stuck in Plymouth and desperately need a handbag.

  • qs
    December 22, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    I was saddened by the concrete walls. I was saddened by the selling of used handbags. I was devastated when I saw the frame-less collage of her child’s pictures on the wall. What a sad, open wound this woman’s life is.

    Asking for money to move? Meh, I kinda believe her. She definitely needs some help, and that collage really makes me want her to get it together. I don’t do drugs, steal, or sell government formula, but if for some reason I find myself living apart from my child and hanging up various pictures of them on the wall in a grade-school-like fashion, that would be a wake-up call for me to get out of hell and get some help.

    • festivus
      December 22, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      don’t be sad, she chose the life over her kid. only person I’m sad for is the kid. especially once I saw we’re dealing with one of those bitches who buys designer handbags

      • qs
        December 22, 2017 at 4:06 pm

        Naw, everything about this is sad. Deservedly so? Yea, most likely. I think it’s 89% likely to be a scam to get some drug money, but knowing that this woman wakes up out of a drug stupor to those photos tugs at my icy heart.

        Best case scenario: she cleans up her act somehow and gets a job as a cashier and a better place to live. She ends up seeing her kid every other weekend at the dad’s house for a few hours.

        Worst case: She does drugs under that collage in that roach hotel for every single day until she doesn’t exist anymore.

        The good in me wants the former, but that’s not why I come to turtleboy. This story has awoken an ancient caring within me. Curse you, collage!

        • festivus
          December 22, 2017 at 4:11 pm

          as a female, i personally happen to know that any female who purchases designer handbags is evil

          so I’m biased

          also i always take the side of the neglected kid and despise the neglectful mother, cuz i grew up poor and neglected

          i like your post about it though, about the icy heart and the frameless collage <3

        • Kim Wescott
          December 22, 2017 at 8:46 pm

          Some of the TB posts recently have really tugged at my heart also, qs. Some strike me as just very sad, hopeless cases. Curse you, indeed, collages! Anger doesn’t hurt nearly as much.

    • Uncle Randy
      December 22, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      She’s obviously a junkie and begging for money, but it’s sad regardless. Her mind is shit too. It’s another story of poverty and addiction.

      “Cootermuff” is fucking hilarious though.

      • addiction is a preference not a disease
        December 22, 2017 at 5:56 pm

        poverty…. ah hem poverty??

        Go to Southern Sudan or Myanmar, that’s poverty.

        This chick, the result of all her own impulsive choices and a life too easy to learn to value life.

  • Local real local
    Local real local
    December 22, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    She doesn’t have one disease, she has all of them. Holy Lord! I would be willing to pay people not to find her website. She needs to stay in the sober housing. Yes, many of those facilities are gritty and less than hospitable. Nevertheless, those homes are not designed to be a 5 star hotel but a place to heal and meet with counselors on an immediate demand basis.

    • festivus
      December 22, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      is that a blackened mattress in her own place in background of purse pic?? if so she’d be that much safer in sober house

      funny article, turtle!

      • festivus
        December 22, 2017 at 3:54 pm

        i meant that literally not sarcastically

        the best bit was:

        “Who has reached the point in their life where they’d find themselves alone in an apartment with this woman for the purpose of photographing her?”

      • Kathleen time to wake up
        December 23, 2017 at 12:21 pm

        Holly nasty balls! I didn’t even notice that mattress till I read your comment. That is just nasty. She has Victoria secret shopping bags hanging from the bedroom door, but god forbid she buy a set of sheets or a bottle of shampoo. This chick doesn’t have her priorities in order. I see how people can feel bad for her because of her picture collage.. what if you were to find out that there is only one pic of her child in those pictures. And they others are from her incarcerated lover, and her friends. The pic of her child is also very old. I’m sorry cause I know it makes me sound awful to say these things, but they are the truth. Kathleen has many many issues. Is she a nice person. Ya she is. Does she only think of herself, absolutely. Cause nobody else does, because of things she has done to cause them to finally say enough. When she first moved to the gonk she kept to herself. That didn’t last long. Once people got to know her, they started to keep their distance. All except the other junk bags. I do however still feel bad for Kathleen because she is not well and chances are she won’t be with us much longer they way things are going

    • Smitty
      December 22, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      She is living in Algonquin projects. That is probably one of the biggest drug infested projects in Plymouth. Has been for well over 30 years.

    • Walking dead
      December 22, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      Algonquin Heights isn’t a sober house. Lol. Not even close. More drugs in that place than fatherless children

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