Bone Ride

Pokemon Has Turned Elm Park Into The Zombie Apocalypse

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Everyone has been talking about Pokemon lately because apparently it’s all the rage on the iMachine. So this Turtleboy went down to the Elm Park with Turtleboy Jr, because Turtleboy is a man of the people, and we saw first hand the effect that this has had. It’s literally causing a zombie apocalypse:

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I will say this – at least people are outside, getting exercise, and socializing…..kind of. I have no idea how this game works, nor do I care. Because I’m a grown ass man in his 30’s who simply doesn’t have time to worry about Goddamn Pokemon. I didn’t care about Pokemon when I was younger and I’m not gonna start now because the Internet has lost its mind. Mrs. Turtleboy tried to get me into it today and I stopped caring after 10 seconds when I found out the object was to shoot a non-existent cartoon character with a ball that’s appearing on my cell phone. It’s basically a video game with a little bit of exercise. It really wouldn’t surprise me if Michelle Obama is behind this one. Seems like one of her “make fat kids skinny quick” schemes.

On the down side, we heard a pretty bad accident on Highland Street. When we first heard the crash we were halfway across the park. First thing that came to mind was this warning from the Northbridge Police Department:

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The way things looked in that park it was certainly believable that someone wandered into traffic because their iPhone told them to and they thought the Toyota was a Pokemon. But as it turned out some old lady pulled out of the Price Chopper parking lot and hit some poor guy on a motorcycle.

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I swear to God at least half the people in Elm Park just sat on their phones and didn’t even seem to notice. Guess killing imaginary Japanese cartoons was more important. Luckily the poor guy was fully conscious, and many people on scene provided help and comfort. We’re praying for him to have a speedy recovery. You gotta watch out for motorcycles people. I do feel bad for the old lady, who clearly meant no one any harm and was visibly shaken up as she sat in her car. Luckily the guy on the motorcycle lives in a city with great hospitals.

 

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25 Comment(s)
  • Wesley lacroix
    July 14, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Looks more like the dork apocalypse to me.lmao

  • Joe Max
    July 13, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Most are at the young peer-pressure and trendy age. At least they’re doing something, to move around for a change. Maybe even lose a few pounds !

  • fauxymon
    July 12, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    “Zombies” is right.

    What is maybe even scarier is the number of people well into adulthood (chronologically) in these pictures, playing this stupid game.

    Kids are kids and will do all sorts of stupid things. This is where ADULTS are supposed to step in, and not to play this game with them, or rationalize that now Junior is “getting more steps” while the kid tromps around graveyards, etc. at 1 AM.

  • Love, Me
    July 12, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    You know why Pokémon hide under your bed, right? So they can Pikachu while you’re sleeping!!

    • wabbitt
      July 12, 2016 at 9:28 pm

      As long as they don’t Squirtle on my Jigglypuffs.

      • Rational Person
        July 12, 2016 at 9:37 pm

        You win the interwebs tonight!

  • TRACEY HICKS
    July 12, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    It is out of control. Someone is going to get hurt. I live in Elm Park and the other night there were 3 vehicles (music blaring) that pulled up and unloaded into the park about 15 people who were all yelling and laughing at 1am while the rest of the world is trying to sleep.

    Yesterday there were about 12 people at the light elm and park all glued to phones. I was waiting for someone to dart into the street. Its BAD BAD BAD!!!!

  • WHATEVUH
    July 12, 2016 at 7:55 am

    A kid with a hoodie, and ear buds, looking down at his phone walked right out into the street in front of me without looking first. I wasn’t going fast thankfully. I honked my horn at him, and gestured to him, and yelled WTF?? at him, he started screaming at me that HE had the right of way! LOL So I yelled back, you’re not in a crosswalk you brain dead fucking moron !

  • July 12, 2016 at 6:21 am

    55s……The best part of work is from comfort of your house and get paid frrom $4k-$8k each week. Start today and have your first cash at the end of this week. For more info Check the following link…………..WageMax30.COMcopy the web adderss

    • PG
      July 12, 2016 at 7:03 am

      SHUT THE FUCK UP

  • Reddog
    July 12, 2016 at 12:31 am

    All those folks in the park must work nights right? Unless they had today off.

    • Rational person
      July 12, 2016 at 8:23 am

      Well, my kids are college students who have the summer off and only work part-time.

      • fauxymon
        July 12, 2016 at 10:58 pm

        Get off the Pokemon and maybe they could work full time.

        • Rational person
          July 13, 2016 at 8:11 am

          You seem fun.

          • bwahahahah
            July 13, 2016 at 5:56 pm

            That’s what your mom said.

  • BobnMic
    July 12, 2016 at 12:21 am

    This is so ridiculously stupid. Wifey-poo was telling me today that some numbskull dude was glued to his fucking iPhone and walked right into traffic right in front of her, no crosswalk, no red light, on the way home from work yesterday. This because of a news story we saw tonight on TV about this shit so she told me. She had to slam on her brakes barely missing the zombie shitbird.

    She rolls down her window and yells at the guy to “watch out” and he goes nuts, flips her the bird and bangs on the hood of her car causing a dent calling her the “C” word.

    Ok, I know some think I am insane on here and that I have earned no doubt. But seriously all jokes aside, if I was in that car oh Lord………..

  • Publius
    July 11, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    A few zombies stumpled into Elm Street today. Before seeing the reports thought zombies.

  • UsualSuspect
    July 11, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    A bunch of nerds running around the park is much better than the dopers that usually frequent Worcester’s finest parks. Maybe they will scare away the druggies.

    • wabbitt
      July 12, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      I had this same thought – better geeks than crackheads.

      Maybe they’ll push the homeless off the common and Petty will take credit for it.

  • Tudor turtle
    July 11, 2016 at 10:44 pm

    Do you think law enforcement could use the Pokemon game to their advantage?

  • Randy Haskins
    July 11, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    When I’ve seen these people the last few days, it reminded me of the Star Trek Next Generation episode where Riker brings back an addictive game played with a pair of glasses, and everyone on the Enterprise gets taken over by aliens.
    OTOH, this could be like adding a little bleach to the gene pool…

  • Rational Person
    July 11, 2016 at 10:32 pm

    This is great! It’s getting people who typically shut themselves in their houses out into the world. Nothing wrong with that. Well. the getting hit by cars and finding dead bodies is an issue but still…

  • MommaH
    July 11, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    I had to get some steps in, so why not join in with the Pokemon Hunt…it was fun until we heard that crash, which we were right there. We couldn’t even play anymore because we were so concerned about the motorcyclist. We couldnt help but to feel bad for the woman that he drove into. I am sure they both will be okay, his leg looked roughed up. Anyways, I enjoyed seeing all the younger kids out there helping each other out trying to find some of the Pokemons.

  • Mary
    July 11, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    OK – I’m not playing this game, but just for the record, you don’t kill the Pokemon, you catch them.

  • GoneWest
    July 11, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    I do not understand this shit at all.

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