Pubestached Door Knocker’s Boy Toy Who Lied About Chick Fil-A Food Poisoning Is Sending Turtle Riders Pics Of His Poo, Threatening To Murder And Rape Them

Pubestached Door Knocker’s Boy Toy Who Lied About Chick Fil-A Food Poisoning Is Sending Turtle Riders Pics Of His Poo, Threatening To Murder And Rape Them

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Earlier in the week we published this blog about a woman who claimed that her boyfriend got food poisoning from tainted gray meat at the new Chick Fil-A in Worcester. The whole thing was not even remotely believable and was clearly a desperate call for attention from a chick who resembled my front door knocker.

Naturally she promised Internet lawsuits as a result of us screenshotting things she wrote on Facebook, which is clearly deformation of character.

According to her she’s gone to the Worcester Police and they have informed her that if we write a third blog about her it qualifies as harassment and we will be going to jail. So here we are for round #3. Looks like the Turtle is finally getting locked up!!!

This blog is more about her chudstuffer who claimed to have food poisoning. He came onto the comments section to defend himself in total ratchet style:

Uhoh, he bout to get that IP!! Seems like a lovely gentlemen.

Nothing like waking up to the smell of bacon grease soaked into an unwashed pubestache in the morning!! Hello morning sex!!

Anyway, he started going full Kevin Lynch and messaging pretty much anyone in the comments section who had anything mean to say about him or his doornknocker meat wallet. Here’s a conversation he had with a turtle rider from Buffalo:

Threatening small children. This is the kind of guy who is clearly above lying about food poisoning to get more free Chick Fil-A in the future.

He claimed he had pictures of his poop, which would prove that the food poisoning was in fact real. When she asked why anyone would take pictures of their own poo, he naturally resorted to threatening her child some more:

Calling her a whore and claiming he’d find her:

Telling her he was gonna rip her tampon tunnel open:

Claiming he was gonna come to her house and smear his food poisoning dumps on her stoop, while telling her straight up that he would be armed while doing so, and that her small children should watch their back:

This was followed by some more poo pics:

More death threats

Requests for poon for poop pics:

More threats to her loved ones:

Then came the poop fetish porn:

And a promise to take a long road trip to Buffalo, which was totally NOT a threat because he never said he would harm her:

Because claiming that you’re gonna come to someone’s house, throw feces on their front porch, all while armed and ripping their twat open, is totally NOT a threat.


If you thought the story was true before, it’s pretty much impossible to believe it now. You just gotta trust us people. We know human garbage when we see it. And these two pieces of shit redefine human garbage:

I dunno, maybe she’s just a gullible idiot. But now that she’s able to see how her bologna baton speaks to women, if she chooses to stay with him then she’s just as bad as he is.

33 Comment(s)
  • Mike
    November 28, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    He may be one of the least threatening persons I have ever seen. Nothing about him suggests envokes fear, from his brown teeth to his floppy earlobes, he is, and will always be, a bitch.

    I’ll bet is ugly girlfriend punks him regularly.

  • Kerri Bishop
    November 26, 2017 at 10:57 am

    OMG! I love when people talk to the police and completely misinterpret what they are told. She was obviously told that the harassment laws in this state include needing three documented cases of harassment in order to get a Harassment prevention order (restraining orders for people who are not related or haven’t been “intimate”). This doesn’t mean you write three blogs of screen shots of what she wrote and it becomes Harassment, it means you need three separate reported incidents (POLICE REPORTS!) about the person harassing you. You know she was told the right information but only listened to what she wanted to hear and called it a day.

    • Mike
      November 28, 2017 at 1:52 pm

      Maybe that’s true, but, I think more likely it was her feeble attempt to prevent further writings. As in, imma let the first two slide, but if you do it one more time there will be consequences.

      Just like dude’s feeble attempt to frighten that woman by pretending to be a “hacker”. All jackasses his age pretend they posses some computer hacking skills when talking to people they think are old. I suspect it’s because they watch Mr. Robot and are asked by gam-gam how to do the facebook.

  • don
    November 24, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    that poop looks like hes been spending way too much time with his man friends and a jar of crisco. a friend looked and told me that. first of all, look at this skinny little puke. the only vag hes ripping open is maybe his hamsters. she looks like shes never even seen a real dick, never mind finding this little kids penis. that cum slut has no clue what a real man can do to her vag, but then again, no man would want to risk their dick in her vag. nothing worse than pulling out and your dick and it looks like a roll of life savers. shes a cum pig and hes a little boy that has daddy issues.

  • Captain Morgan
    November 24, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    Look at these kids. Her with her $5 Marshals glasses and him with his scrawny shoulders and his WalMart gold chains. Are they really different than any of the other kids out there being raised by bad parents or selfish slobby single moms?

    Look at the stupid insults posted by the adults here including myself and then ask where they get these ideas from.

    • Common sense
      November 25, 2017 at 7:32 am

      they are not kids. Ask em. So it was okay what he did to that woman and threatened her kids. They were looking for free food and got caught. Then instead of leaving it alone, he started to threaten women with kids. I’m sure plenty of men did stuff and he could have mesg. Them but he did it to a woman. And the reason why people are picking on his poodle is so he gets how it feels when someone you love gets treated that way.

  • Evan
    November 24, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    There are two things I can’t stand. Being featured on Turtleboy and not getting the newest edition of Pokemon cards!

  • Not my Boi
    November 24, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    This is where TB can do some good. Just look at this misguided couple. They both claim to be hard working and she probably meant well I bet she could work the fuck out of a chick fil A check out counter. The mouthy little guy is a perfect example of why there is gun violence. He’s enticing a fight but he’s never been in a fist fight in his life so he needs a gun. Teach these kids just because you can type tough shit doesn’t mean you should. Jesus Christ if that kid ever came knocking on our front door we would think he was trick or treating.

  • They call me Ponch
    November 24, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Brush dem teef !!

    • Cheese
      November 24, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      She did, with a butter stick!

  • foleyworld
    November 24, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    HAHA! What an internet tough guy! if that little pussy ever showed up at my ( or any male over the age of 16) home with malicious intent I would happily gather him up by the scruff of his Chicago Bulls Hoodie and then proceed to mop the street with his cowardly, scrawny corpse! Not that hed ever actually show up if there were an adult male present…He’d likely show up to beat up the women and children ( truth be told, most women would be capable of swatting him like a fly too) Anyway, if I see him around I’ll be sure to antagonize the hell out of him and if I’ve had a few perhaps I shall dispense a backhander to him for good measure ! That’ll be fun!

    • Deep Cowboy
      November 24, 2017 at 9:01 pm

      Well hello there Cowboy! What say we get this rodeo started!

    • Captain Morgan
      November 24, 2017 at 9:10 pm

      Honestly? You want to beat up this little kid? You’re the fucking pussy.

    • Captain Morgan
      November 24, 2017 at 9:17 pm

      Are you the same guy who knocked out the handicapped guy? You’re a funny fucking dude.

  • Think First
    November 24, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    Not cool railing on two stupid High School kids. How did you think they would react? Lay off the H.

    • Common sense
      November 25, 2017 at 7:26 am

      No but what he did by threading to harm children is okay? You think first read all three articles and how he states that the child was so fragile and it would be a shame if something happened. These aren’t high school kids first. Second they dish they should be able to take it right back

  • Captain Morgan
    November 24, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    I can understand why so many people including the writers are bailing on Turtleboy. The daily welfare slug and SJW stories are running out of steam.

    These last two installments about this fucking rapper and Dr.Phil and now how far can we take these chic fil A kids are just garbage.

    We get it, there is no such thing as internet court and you always win because you are a big hero.

    When I first found this site the writing was funny and the topics were entertaining but now the cobwebs are setting in and the tumbleweeds are starting to blow down main street.

    Word to the wise, after this site completely implodes (it’s getting close, no twitter etc.) and you try to restart again learn from your mistakes. Nobody likes stupid words like fuppersnopple.

    Stop picking on stupid kids, unfortunately this is the society we live in today. Think of the proud days you have ahead in your life like on bring your dad to school day when the kid before yours says “My dads my hero he’s a Firefighter and saves lives.’ and then Turtle Junior gets up and says “my dad wears pajamas all day and makes fun of 17 year old Fuppasloppers who get sick at Chic fil A and have nose rings!”.

    • chrissy
      November 24, 2017 at 8:23 pm

      so you are studying him to see all you deem faulty and yearn for his demise? :/

  • Captain Morgan
    November 24, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    I’m not sure about this one. I mean sure they obviously are not well educated but c’mon man they can’t be much more than 17 years old and look at the stock they come from.

    It’s more likely he got into his dads liquor cabinet took a shot of whiskey and got sick. Now the little fag is afraid of getting in trouble so he made up this whole bad chicken sandwich story.

  • Budz N Henny
    November 24, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Mad props to my boy Virginia slims sportin chin fuzz and some heavy gold around his neck with his arm candy takin glam shotz at the local Putt putt! Peace out niggaz

  • BlackandWhite
    November 24, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Has this person even gone to a doctor to CONFIRM that it’s food poisoning??

  • Fred Knessl
    November 24, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    Did you see any toilet paper mixed in with the mushroom soup mix in that bowl?? Guess wiping isn’t a priority

  • Your girl is shit
    November 24, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    This asshole thinks he has skills other then taking green shits from drinking purple drinks! Lmao!! My 11 year can find anyone’s IP address too Mr. hacker. So let me start by saying that’s not so hard to do. Second he wants to play games with a lady in Buffalo New York, there are plenty of ppl right here in Massachusetts that would love to slap the living fuck out him and his ugly bitch. She looks like a cross between a poodle and Mr. fkn Ed! You were looking for a free meal and you got caught. What was done to you WAS NOT slander. What YOU DID to that woman was threatening to do harm to her children and her loved ones. That is actually criminal but Something tells me that woman would stuff your little head up your own ass. Your a disgrace. And your girl is ugly as the day is long. I almost think in a side by side compairison with the shit in the toilet, the shit might actually look better. At least that can be flushed. Not much we can do about that thing you call a girlfriend but cover our children’s eyes and explain to them that some people are just plain ugly, and pray they don’t have nightmares from her. But chances are they will. Oh and the photo of her and her family at her graduation.. lmfao, that looked like a white trash family reunion oh I’m sorry one of them is blk lol.. your a fucking joke in every sense of the word. K babe that’s all for now. Go stuff skeletor now and open a window while your at it to air out that nasty fkn place you call a home. Prime example of what white trash is right here.

    • Horse is a horse
      November 24, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      She does look like a cross between Mr. Ed and poodle!!! Omg it’s uncanny!

      • Henri
        November 24, 2017 at 6:43 pm

        That’s really not fair. To poodles.

    • Webster Turtle Rider
      November 24, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      Have you applied for turtleboy’s open position? I’d read what you have to say!

  • Turd Burglestein
    November 24, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    Yeah, I’ve vaped with this dude before.

  • RR
    November 24, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    Caught a side shot of the lovely Angelica.
    Miss Anorexia could eat an apple through a chain link fence with those chompers!

  • Linda-Linda-Linda
    November 24, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Please tell me WHY would someone even think of taking pictures of that?!?! Only reason was to set up for a pathetic arrempt at a faux lawsuit against Chic Fil A. .
    Cartoon girl should get rid of him, he is scary and unbalanced.

  • itsjustme
    I'm a nurse
    November 24, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    That shit looks like someone who has busted a hemorrhoid after going to the bathroom. It is also way too solid to be poisoning, or even stomach flu.

  • Jim
    November 24, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Threatening people, time to bust the missing links.

  • chrissy
    November 24, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    “So here we are for round #3. Looks like the Turtle is finally getting locked up!!!”

    turtle is such a badass <3 #FREEMUHBOI

    • chrissy is glad she never had kids after reading these
      November 24, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      uhh just read the kids threats… call me naiive but have never seen threats that worthy of being brought to law enforcement as these threats against a child

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