Rapey Looking EDM Drunk Finds A Way To Destroy A Worcester Cop Car After Blowing Through Red Light

Rapey Looking EDM Drunk Finds A Way To Destroy A Worcester Cop Car After Blowing Through Red Light

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MassliveWorcester police arrested a man Friday morning after he allegedly struck a police cruiser while driving under the influence of alcohol. Police responded to the intersection of Pleasant and Irving streets after an officer radioed to dispatch that his vehicle had been struck around 1 a.m. Paramedics assisted the officer and sent him to a local hospital. He suffered minor injuries as a result of the cruiser’s airbag deploying. Officers spoke to Michael Nuttall, 27, of Worcester, who drove the car that struck the cruiser, police said in a statement. Police said they could smell alcohol on Nuttall. They gave him a series of field sobriety tests, which he failed, police said. He also failed a portable breath test, which measured his blood alcohol content to be more than twice the legal limit, police said. An initial investigation of the scene revealed that Nuttall allegedly ran a red light while driving south on Linden Street and struck the cruiser as he drove through the intersection on Pleasant Street. Both vehicles sustained heavy damage, police said.

Wow. Thank God he wasn’t smoking pot. Someone could’ve gotten hurt!!!

But seriously, how drunk do you have to be to smash into a cop car? Do you understand what the odds of that are? Millions of people drive around drunk every weekend, and most of them don’t crash into anything. I’d estimate that 1% of all drunk drivers end up hitting something. Those who do crash into shit usually hit a mailbox, a guardrail, a moose, or another civilian’s car. But a cop car? You have to TRY to do that. You have to be so friggin obliterated that not only do you not give a shit that you have a red light, but you also somehow didn’t notice the cop car traveling through the intersection before barreling right into them.  Did you see the pictures of what he did to that cop car? The fact that no one was seriously injured is a miracle.

The guy is a repeat offender too. Not his first DUI. And naturally he was released on personal recognizance, because God forbid we actually hold dangerous people in a jail cell for a little while. A cop easily could’ve died from this, or any other civilian who had the bad luck of being in the same place at the same time as him.

Mike Nuttall is a real winner too. He might live in Worcester, but you’ll never guess where he’s from……

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Spencer! Never saw that one coming!!

He seems to go through various stages, including a Harry Potter phase:

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A rapey phase:

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A grizzled Buffalonian phase:

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A sunshine phase

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A lover phase:

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And a “that guy at the club” phase:

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That last picture explains everything. There’s no one worse than the guy on ecstacy at the club with the glow sticks. These people are a plague and they need to be destroyed with fire.

The bottom line is, stop drinking and driving. We’ve all been there before when we had one glass of wine too many at dinner and drove home. It’s not a good thing, but it’s also not the same as this. Having a couple beers at dinner is something Turtleboy can relate to. Being so shitcanned that you can’t notice a red light or a cop car directly in front of you is something that no normal person can relate to.



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12 Comment(s)
  • McGoo
    April 4, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    What cop car?

  • ohyi76r
    April 4, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    maybe hes a black lives matter activist

  • Turd Burglestein
    April 3, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Now Zephyr, you can’t let just each and every cute guy you meet put his meat missile in your fudge factory. I learned that the hard way. It’s all gay fun and games when you’re young but if you’re not careful you end up like me: an old man with a prolapsed rectum. It looks like I’ve always got a load of shit in my pants. Now sometimes that’s true but most times that just my pooter poking out.

    • ZephyrCat
      April 3, 2017 at 4:50 pm

      I wish you would have told me that earlier, but alas it’s too late for me now. Thanks for nothing asshole.

  • ZephyrCat
    April 3, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    That guy is hot in every pic. He can put his meat in my ass any time.

  • Publius
    April 3, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    We need to get these drunk off the road. Set up trailers at Bridgewater State Hospital or MCI Gardner for housing and give everyone mandatory 90- days first time 2 years second time. They can move inside the state prison walls for third and subsequent offense. Drunk drivers are the selfish criminals who deserve to be despised by family, friends and co-workers. We automatically fire anyone stupid enough to drink and drive.

  • Chameleon
    April 3, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    He has lots of different looks, like he’s on the run.

  • Al Goree
    April 3, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    I invented Uber right after I invented the internet.

  • April 3, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    Please ontact Attorney Richard Hertz from Holden MA, he is my attorney, tell him Kevin sent you!

  • Anonymous
    April 3, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Why do DUIs even exist anymore with the invention of Uber?

    • KimberlyS
      April 3, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      Because people are still dumbasses.

      • Dean Martin
        April 4, 2017 at 6:09 am

        And people are still severe alkies.

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