This Day In Turtleboy

Reblog: Leominster Butterfluffer Has Messaged Half The Women In Worcester County Offering To Pay Them For Noodz

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This is Turtleboy vacation week and we’ve given our bloggers a week off to enjoy themselves. We’ll be reblogging some of our greatest hits this week though to help you remember the golden times. 

 

This is Travis Palermo from Leominster:

And evidently half the women in Worcester county have had a negative run-in with him on the Internet. Ya see, we found out about this guy from this woman’s post:

Apparently he just finds strange women on the Internet and messages them offering money if they send him noodz:

“I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Well then, since you put it that way, it’s all good in the hood! Is it offensive to message women and offer them money for noodz? Because he literally had no idea. Dude was just trying to build up some material for the spank bank.

That right there is the guy who buys you a drink and then stares at you for the rest of the night from across the bar because he thinks you owe him a free ride in your stench trench.

When Cassie posted this it quickly became a “Travis Palermo tried to get me to send him noodz for cash” support group:

  

Then came the screenshots of the messages:

Oh yea, it’s OK because he was bored. Now that he’s not bored anymore it’s not a big deal.

Messaging random girls you don’t know and asking them to come over your house. Seems like a high percentage move for sure. Has this ever worked before? I’ve tried a lot of pickup lines in my day, but never thought about using this one.

Do NOT call that number: 978-751-4596. He does NOT like it when strangers message him to see if he wants to come over. Do NOT do that!!!

Dude really doesn’t give a shit if you ignore him. He’ll just keep on messaging you….

One chick had messages from five freaking years ago:

You know you broke all the records on the creep-o-meter when a chick saves bizarre messages you sent her FIVE years ago!! She probably went through two phones since then and got the pictures all transferred over just waiting for the opportunity to make you Turtleboy famous. And now you are. So if you get a message from this butterfluffer

Just send him some dick pics and he’ll get the message.

Here’s my question – does he not know about Internet porn? It’s literally everywhere. And if you have a Mac it doesn’t give you viruses. Not that I buy Macs specifically because of that, but I’ve heard it’s true. Back in the 90’s you had to be the shady guy who went down to Honey Farms and asked for the Hustler Magazine in the appropriate plastic wrapping behind the counter. Making tummy pancakes was a whole procedure back then. So with all this accessible porn at his finger tips, why does he feel the need to ask all these random Central Mass babes for noodz? Must be the thrill of knowing that these chicks have a soul, unlike the women who appear in some of the movies I’ve accidentally clicked on.

 

2 Comment(s)
  • Captain Trips
    August 11, 2018 at 3:41 pm

    With a little luck he’ll ask an under-aged girl and she will send him nude pics so he can get thrown in the can for child porn, where he’ll get all of the sex he can handle. But only from other dudes

  • Party Waren Kebber
    August 11, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    Pay for them??? Damn, I’d have sent my brown eye pics to this stud muffin just for the asking.

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