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So just to review:
- He’s an able bodied 31 year old man looking for $1,800 for “soberity” 2nd chance
- He classifies this as an “emergency”
- He’s suffering from the “disease” but has remained sober for a solid 11 months straight (allegedly)
- HE USES ALL CAPS SO YOU KNOW HE’S 4 REAL
- He wants to buy a house or get an apartment with his “fiance” Kati Kilroy with the $1,800
- He also wants to take the money to “get into school to help other addicts find the light,” as well as “help abuse victims and street kids to change their lives b4 it’s to late.”
- The $1,800 will be going towards first, last, and security on their “first home”
- He wants to focus on school instead of housing
I’ve never seen someone who can do so much with just $1,800. Finding an apartment with first, last, and security that only costs $1,800 is impressive enough as it is. But he’s gonna take the savings and “help abuse victims and street kids to change their lives,” because he’s obviously very good with finances.
Does this look the kind of guy who can’t be trusted with $1,800 in charity?
Holy crap, it’s Shaun King!!
Sorry Talcum X, you’re gonna have to pay for your own shit.
You can totally trust him because according to this recent video things are going great right now:
“Fucking clean and sober, know what I mean? Got the Jordan’s fitted dude.”
Oh good, he can afford Jordan’s.
“I’ve been out of jail for a month, and I’ve accomplished SO fucking much.”
And by that he means, “I went to a couple meetings and started a GoFundMe.”
“I’m not always gonna be 100% sober. When I get my own place I’m gonna go and smoke bud.”
Oh yes, this is definitely a convincing way to let people know that you will not lapse back into drug abuse. Talk about how you’re gonna spend your GoFundMe money on weed. Excellent marketing strategy.
Oh, and here he is confronting a woman while drunk after allegedly not paying his rent, and eventually getting kicked out after starting a fight:
Here he is finding a drunk passed out in an unknown location and asking him what he’ll do for another beer:
So obviously we can trust Sargent Squatter with $1,800 because it will no doubt be going towards the things he claims it will be going towards. After all, this clearly sounds like a reformed man who wants to make some serious changes in his life:
Fighting a 300 pound black in Ludlow jail on Christmas day, hitting him 32 times, and then watching the video to see how bad ass he is. Dude must’ve been scared of his hardcore county jail tats:
Obviously this man is worthy of your charity.
He also claims that the apartment is for him and his fiance, who appears to be either currently incarcerated, or missing:
Oh yea, this will be money well spent for sure. Just ignore his Google trophies though:
A homeless man was arrested Tuesday after police found him allegedly in possession of knives, stolen property and burglary instruments, according to court documents. Keith Phinney, 29, is charged with three counts of receiving more than $250 worth of stolen property, possession of burglary instruments and two counts of carrying a dangerous weapon.
According to court documents, police observed Phinney near 67 Day St., about 6:35 p.m., attempting to get into the building. Police verified that there was an active warrant for Phinney’s arrest and apprehended him before he entered the building, court documents said.
Police asked Phinney if he had any weapons in his possession, and he produced a knife in his pocket, court documents said, adding that officers also found a second knife. During booking, police discovered three flashlights and a small tool used to cut belts and straps that were identified as burglary instruments, court documents said. Police also uncovered three Playstation games, two DVDs, two cologne bottles, an LL Bean gift card, allegedly stolen gift cards, an iPod shuffle and an iPad, two USB cables in the original packaging, and an electronic scale with empty glassine bags, court documents said. Police were able to link some of the items to previous break-in reports.
So just to review.
- He’s a thief who was already well known to Fitchburg police before going to jail
- He’s got the “disease” but it’s cool because he’s been clean for 11 months
- He’s now living in a sober house in Springfield
- He brags about being a bad ass in jail and beating the shit out of a 300 pound black guy
- He wants $1,800 to him and his fiance can get an apartment where they will be smoking weed (but only weed), even though she is currently not in the picture for unknown reasons
- With whatever money is left over he plans to save “street kids” from turning into him
Where do I sign up? Can’t think of a charity that is more deserving of my hard earned money than this grown career criminal who obviouosly has completed the transformation into law abiding, non-drug abusing citizen.