This Day In Turtleboy

Shitstain Long Island Puke Kicked Out Of Umass For Calling Cop The N Word Also Gets Kicked Out Of UConn For Assaulting Cafeteria Employee Who Won’t Give Him Bacon Jalapeño Mac And Cheese While Drunk


Wanna see the worst person who ever lived? His name is Luke Gatti, he’s from Long Island, and he goes to UConn. With that combination you’re pretty much destined to be a terrible, terrible, person. Well I guess Lukey boy wanted a Jalapeño Mac and Cheese the other night in the Student Union, but the problem was he was 19, wasted, and had an open container, so he was asked to leave. What happened next will rightfully follow him around for the rest of his life:

Savages, absolute savages. It’s 2015 and people are still filming vertically? And these are college kids, they should know better. You know how I can tell this kid is the biggest asshole who has ever lived? This:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.29.41 AM

Socks and sandals. Absolute savage.

But seriously, fuck this kid and everything he stands for. The poor manager is trying to earn an honest living and he’s gotta deal with these entitled trust fund dickweeds from Long Island. I can’t believe he didn’t kick this kid’s ass the moment the kid laid hands on him:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.28.59 AM

Seriously, the kid hit him three or four times and somehow he managed to keep his cool. I feel like he should get a medal or something.

Then some other kid comes over and tries to play the peace maker and dooshnozzle McGee goes after him too:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.30.20 AM

Then he gets back in this poor guy’s grill:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.31.46 AM

Before finally one of the cooks has had enough and restrains the shit out of him:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.34.59 AM


Before tackling him to the ground and giving him the choker:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.35.38 AM

Then right when the cop shows up and he’s cuffed he’s no longer a tough guy:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.37.08 AM

I’m absolutely fucked.” You got that right Luke. And you did it to yourself and no one likes you.

And you just knew when you saw this video that this wasn’t some isolated, drunken incident. To be that big of an asshole it means you have to have a track record of being a total buttnut. And what do you know? He was arrested in September of 2014 in Amherst:

At 12:58, Sunday police arrived responded to a call on Phillips Street for a loud party. As police were breaking up the party, Luke V. Gatti, 18, of Bayville N.Y. allegedly started yelling and causing a scene, according to the police report.When he was arrested brought to the station, he started assaulting the police officer, according to the report.

According to the arrest report he yelled, “fuck you nigger” at the cop who arrested him too:

Luke V. Gatti


It gets better. Two weeks after he was arrested for assaulting that cop in Amherst, he was arrested AGAIN at a UMass party:

Arrested two weeks ago on Phillips Street for disorderly conduct (which included calling a detective the N-word), this time around Mr. Gatti seemed to go out of his way to get arrested yet again on that same notorious street, and when taken back to the police station, assaulted an officer. 
With his father looking on, Luke Gatti was arraigned this morning before Judge John Payne who set bail at $250, taken out of the $1,000 bail posted over the weekend to get out of jail. Noting the arrest only two weeks ago Judge Payne said to Gatti,  “I’m a little concerned you’re going to pull a trifecta before the month is over.” 

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.49.35 AM

We used to not care for Larry Kelly, the guy we just linked who follows asshole college kids around in Amherst and takes pictures of them. But we gotta give him props for documenting this dingleberry’s shenanigans.

Oh, and he’s also a Mets fan and a competitive skier according to his Facebook page:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 11.51.02 AM

I really, really wish this kid got shot too, because it’s not enough to just arrest him and expel him. Daddy will fix that. But if you shot him at least then you could say, “look, white kids get shot by cops too.” But the problem was he didn’t resist or try to run away. Oh well, maybe next time. Because we all know that there will definitely be a next time. After all, you can’t take the asshole out of Long Island, but you can’t take the Long Island out of the asshole.



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27 Comment(s)
  • science
    July 7, 2020 at 11:39 am

    Woe e’s like a mini version of my ex. It’s just science to me at this point that anyone who chose to go to UMass Amherst is a douch bag.

  • Judge dread
    July 7, 2020 at 10:07 am

    i started watching trailer park boys back in like 2007, is it just me, or everytime i see jalapeno i pull a ricky and say ja-lap-a-no. that’s the first thing that comes to my mind. trailer park boys pierced my mind big time.

  • luke's ass buddy
    July 7, 2020 at 10:03 am

    i suck dick for fent hits and / or real Dilaudid. i will spit lube it; you can ass fuck me as long as i get my dillys and fent.

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    July 7, 2020 at 8:05 am

    I could read about this dumb queers exploits all day.

  • j-rock
    July 6, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    Former UConn student Luke Gatti, who had drunken mac & cheese meltdown, arrested for assaulting police in Florida

  • Ray Patriarca
    Beansie Gaida
    July 6, 2020 at 8:22 pm

    “Get this gentleman a nice veal parm sangwich, and hurry the fuck up about it!”

  • D.B.Cooper
    July 6, 2020 at 6:33 pm

    I’m shocked he turns out to be a junkie . No one ever punched that little faggot in the mouth and it shows .

  • Luke Gatti
    July 6, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    Black Cocks Matter.
    I like em big and in my ass.
    I like my ass filled with cream.

  • Truth
    July 6, 2020 at 5:56 pm

    While the rest of the world is battling Coronavirus, there’s always one asshole with a case of Affluenza….

  • randiguy2006
    July 6, 2020 at 5:28 pm

    Reruns? Copying and pasting 2 stories a day from the interwebz has gotten too hard for you?

    • Jeff J
      Hey Dumbass!!
      July 6, 2020 at 11:57 pm

      He went on vacation and said he’d be reposting old blogs. Get with the program dumbfuck.

  • It’s me
    July 6, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    They should have just fed him and dealt wit the drinking later

  • North of the Border
    July 6, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Yo, BLM! You wanna sew white privilege? Here ya go–tear his ass up.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Dr Creepy
    July 6, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    Luke is now Associate Chief of Baseball Operations and Special Assistant to Chaim Bloom. He is a great fit for our organization.

  • John Wensink
    July 6, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    Someone refused me Bacon Jalapeño Mac And Cheese I’d rupture their spleen. Good for him!

    • Stan Jonathan
      July 6, 2020 at 4:29 pm

      I would mistake him for a deer and put a .308 in him

      • jobrienxxx176
        Ted Green
        July 6, 2020 at 7:34 pm

        I demanded bacon jalapeño Mac n cheese one night in Toronto and look what happened to me

        • Wayne Maki
          July 6, 2020 at 8:07 pm

          Should have worn a helmet Ted!!!

        • Wayne Maki
          July 6, 2020 at 8:10 pm

          Don’t ever fuck with again!!!

  • juror seven esq.
    July 6, 2020 at 4:16 pm

    Summer reruns. Get up early on Saturday mornings and you can catch The Rifleman. “Gee Paw, can’t I go to town?”. “Not until your chores are done.” I’m guessing this kid’s old man never told him no.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 6, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    Gimme a Diablo Sandwich and a Dr Pepper and make it fast, I’m in a God damned hurry!

  • The Watcher
    July 6, 2020 at 3:49 pm

    Need an update on this kid.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 6, 2020 at 3:23 pm

    This kid just needs someone to K.O. his ass. If that doesn’t humble him then he has no hope

  • randiguy2006
    July 6, 2020 at 3:23 pm

    Wow. Real cutting edge post here Aiden.

    Welcome too the interwebz.

    • randyROO
      July 9, 2020 at 7:51 pm

      Imagine being retarded enough not to realize that all these blogs are under the category “THIS DAY IN TURTLEBOY” because they’re old blogs being reposted.


  • Harry Balz
    July 6, 2020 at 2:51 pm

    This event happened in 2015. A year later he was jailed for assaulting a cop in Boca Raton, where he was trying to leave a rehab clinic within hours of being admitted.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    July 6, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Wonder what this kid is up to these days? My guess is he has a serious pill addiction and is thinking of ways to scott peterson his pregnant girlfriend because he’s still a closet faggot.

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