Sign Up To Get A Notification Every Time Turtleboy Publishes A Blog, Follow TBNews, And Stop Letting Mark Zuckerberg Control You

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Follow and like Turtleboy Sports Returns and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

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If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:








Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 


For those of you trying to keep up with Turtleboy on Facebook, here’s an update:

  • The Turtleboy Sports Forever page got back from a 7 day shadow banning last week. Less than 48 hours later it was once again put on shadow ban because it was mass reported for spam.
  • The Turtleboy Sports Return page got back from a 7 day shadow banning last week and is still up and functioning. We went live from that page last night.
  • A new page was created by someone not affiliated with Turtleboy Sports called TBNews. Someone suggested that we should create a page that doesn’t use our logo or contain the words, “Turtleboy.” My guess is it still gets shut down, because it’s our belief that no one reviews anything at Facebook, and a mob of Kevin Lynch’s can take down any page they want to.

When we got the Forever page back from shadow ban last week we were flooded with, “Where have you been” and, “first time seeing you in my news feed in a week!!”

Yea, no shit. That’s how a shadow ban works.

The bottom line is this – if you’re dependent on Turtleboy showing up in your news feed to come to our Facebook pages and/or read our blog, then congratulations – Mark Zuckerberg OWNS YOU.  You are his slave. Facebook’s goal is to brainwash millions of people into thinking as they want them to think. They’re only going to show you pages they consider “reliable.” Your Facebook feed is nothing more than Zuckerberg’s handpicked propaganda that he has arbitrarily decided you should see. He hides shit he doesn’t like, and promotes shit he does.

We complain a lot about Facebook but ultimately the users are allowing him to decide what you will and won’t read. Our page hasn’t gone anywhere. You can go directly to it on Facebook. If you wait for it to show up in your news feed then you’re not really a Turtleboy fan. You’re a Facebook fan.

Here’s what you need to do if you have not done so already – sign up to get an email every time we write a blog. The prompts appear after every fifth post on the main page when you go to Turtleboysports.com.

That way you don’t have to wait for it show up in your news feed. Create a user name and comment on the blog itself. This is how the Internet worked before Facebook brainwashed everyone into thinking that if it’s not on their platform it doesn’t exist.

In the meantime, follow us on Twitter here, and follow our three Facebook pages here, here, and here. I know it’s a pain in the ass, but it’s just the reality we’re dealing with as the renegades of the Internet now. Keep liking and following our pages for the interaction with other turtle riders, but subscribe by email to control your own destiny.

12 Comment(s)
  • RickSalamander
    June 6, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Don’t forget Kevin Lynch, screw that Dbag. Albrecht was heinous as well. Glad too dont have to see their crap anymore. I don’t know I sort of laughed at Father Hurts. Didn’t think he was against TBS. Had some sick humor though that much me chuckle every now and then. RN

  • Nadia Yenraek
    June 6, 2018 at 11:49 am

    No, I don’t want you sending your hate-filled articles to my inbox. I’d prefer to come here and read them at my leisure, when I need to laugh at your stupidity.

    I have no current plans to donate to your “cause”. You promised you were suing facebook. I’ll donate AFTER you file the lawsuit, and after you survive a motion to dismiss. I’m pretty sure you can’t find a lawyer stupid enough to sign his name on a complaint. Oh wait…. Maybe you can get your disbarred lawyer to write it for you and you can sign it yourself.

    • Screw PC
      June 6, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      Oh, I’m sorry, what part of “go dig up and fist fuck your dead grandmother’s crumbling asshole” didn’t you understand?

      We give a fuck about your opinion about as much as we care if the asshole scammers and criminals we put on blast kill themselves, including you.

      Also, fuck your donation. Keep your proceeds from swallowing hoodrat loads and buy your bastard kid some shoes and clean underwear so other kids will stop laughing at it. Yeah, “it”.

      You may now resume digging up and fist fucking your dead grandmother’s crumbling asshole. While you’re at it, take the magic marker you use to tag park benches and scribble over my granddad’s name on your nana’s ass cheek. He wanted to forget all about that mistake.

    • Screw PC
      June 6, 2018 at 1:08 pm

      P.S. Unless you used “Guerrilla Mail”, we now have your valid email address, you mindless fuckstick. But please, continue telling us how “stupid” we are.

  • Screw PC
    June 4, 2018 at 1:05 pm

    Note that several posters are gone, including:

    “Randy” – the jilted gay Turtleboy-obsessed fanboy
    “Brian Albecht” (or some facsimile thereof) – mind of a hardo with the soul of a homo
    “Wwy” – the poor man’s Heinrich Himmler
    “”Father Whyart Hurts” – the douche-chill inducing antonym of humor suffering from delusions of intellect

    • Hughbo Mont
      June 4, 2018 at 1:10 pm

      sign up is required now with an email that works

    • Rochambeau
      June 4, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Wwy was insufferable.

    • British TG
      June 4, 2018 at 4:01 pm

      Yep, this is a much better way of doing things. Hated seeing all that vile racist or anti-semitic shit.
      We just need more people commenting here rather than FB so we can get some proper banter going. Loving this old school, just a shame you can’t add pics or gifs.

      • Benjamin Wallens
        June 4, 2018 at 4:59 pm

        I’m thrilled to comment here and not on Facebook. Not missing those animated gifs either. What a waste of computers those things are. A few memes might be nice but I’ll take whatever the Turtle provides.

  • Benjamin Wallens
    June 4, 2018 at 10:00 am

    But I’m so familiar with the Facebook app. I’ve even brainwashed myself into thinking that it works well, when in reality it sucks hard but I’m afraid to do anything else with my phone. I might loose my place or have to type my whole comment again if I click on anything else.

    • British TG
      June 4, 2018 at 11:47 am

      If I have to type out something lengthy, I compose it into the body of a text message or note, then copy and paste it to where it’s going. That way I’m saved if there’s a page refresh or I lose my place.

      • Benjamin Wallens
        June 4, 2018 at 4:52 pm

        You’re totally right. You need to copy / paste everything just in case, because the app is such garbage.

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