Podcasts Social Justice Warriors

SJWs In Group Designed To Mock Diane Kelly’s PURR Cat Cafe Are Outraged That We Did The Exact Same Thing Because SSTG Made A Menopause Joke


Diane Kelly FINALLY mentioned Turtleboy in one of her Franzia induced late night Facebook rants done in cat voice this week.

Diane, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – we would love to have you on the live show if you’d like to give us a piece of your mind. I mean, you can really let it rip girl. You can say whatever you want to me, and then we can have a productive dialogue about the REAL reasons PURR is now closed forever. Hit me up.

Anyway, Turtleboy is NOT liked in the anti-PURR Facebook community, because they appear to be a bunch of social justice warriors who also happen to believe that a drunk who has no idea how to run a cat cafe decided to open a cat cafe in Boston. You’d think that we could unite around the idea that we both believe that Diane Kelly’s business was a hot mess, but it appears as if these people don’t really want to get along at all. Bristol and I talked about it last night on the podcast, but I’ll go over it below if you missed it.

I’m going to attempt to be diplomatic and respectful while explaining why these people are all intentionally misrepresenting what we do. It started with this post.

Just to be clear what’s happening here, this group was organized to shit on Diane Kelly and mock her in general. But they don’t like it when Turtleboy does the exact same thing they’re doing because then they’d have to admit that we were right about something. When they do it it’s OK, when we do it it’s defamatory. Thanks for clearing that up Sam. You seem like fun.

A woman who was not familiar with our work asked people what was wrong with Turtleboy.

Then the fun began.

Racist? Misogynist? Never heard baseless claims like this before. Don’t worry though Drew, I’m not going to stoop to your level and make fun of you like other people would. Sure, I could try to say that you look like the love child of Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill, and you don’t have a single black person in any of your Facebook pictures so you’re probably a racist too.

But I would never do that. Nor would I point out that literally every single person in Emily’s social group is a white woman, and I certainly wouldn’t suggest that this is proof that she is a white supremacist.

I would however, urge you to read Turtleboy with an open mind and understand that we are very committed to social justice while championing the rights of women and racial minorities.


Emily said that we “doxxed and harassed a rape victim” though. But I can assure you she’s just making that up. I’m sorry you feel the need to lie like that and I will pray for you Emily. But it appears as if she’s getting her information from a previously featured Turtleboy fire gypsy named Aeyo Odinflame.

We first met Aeyo 3 years ago after her friend started leaving negative reviews on all of our advertisers Facebook pages, even though he’d never been to them. Turtle riders responded in kind by giving his business one star reviews and Aeyo, who clearly doesn’t understand the concepts of irony or hypocrisy, couldn’t believe we’d do this to a guy who was intentionally and maliciously interfering in our business.





These fire folks are friends with mentally balanced people like Charlotte McFarland, and because they can’t find anything that’s actually wrong with our blog they feel the need to make things up as they go along. I would love to sit down for a cup of coffee with any of them so I can clear up any misconceptions they have about the blog.

A woman named Sema, who seemed vaguely familiar with Turtleboy but wasn’t a diehard turtle rider, wanted to know which TB blogs were bigoted and why. The response from Drew pretty much summed it up.

He’s a bigot by being a bigot. Because I said so. Oh, Drew. I think you’d really like me if you gave me a chance. Let’s do lunch at a farmer’s market or something.

Anything specific?

Yea, we always write blogs that target people for being Jewish and/or black. Remember that one blog? There was a guy who was obeying the law and wasn’t acting ratchet at all. But he was black so we made fun of him anyway. Awesome blog.

Oh wait, Drew was just making that up again because he doesn’t have actual examples. Come on Drew, you’re better than that! Let’s go out for perms!

But according to him the blogs SSTG did about PURR were bad because they were personal attacks.

Also, it’s OK when his friends make fun of Diane because they’re not “based in misogyny or being monetized.” In other words, it’s OK to mock her if you declare yourself to be a male feminist and aren’t profiting off of it.

Sema was confused though, because most of our articles actually expose people doing bad things. Plus, I didn’t write the PURR blogs (I’m not as talented as SSTG).


But evidently SSTG is a misogynist because she made a menopause joke.

Michaela, I feel so bad for you. You are going through life pretending to be offended by things you’re not really offended by. It seems like so much work. Obviously you’re not really offended by the fact that a woman mentioned the M word in a satirical manner. Obviously it’s ridiculous that you called a woman a sexist because she did that. Yet you bend over backwards to try to take offense anyway. Let’s go out for drinks sometime so you can let loose a little. It would do wonders for your mental health.

Some might think it’s silly to say that a woman is a misogynist, but luckily Drew was here to mansplain those thoughts away.

Thank you Drew, for explaining to a woman why she hates women. What would the world do without white men telling women how to think? This was very progressive and very brave of you, and I thank you for your service.

Nicole Levay did have examples of our bigotry though.

So she likes that Turtleboy published a blog about a level 3 sex offender working to build an elementary school in Marlborough, but it’s completely out of line that we made jokes about him being cross eyed.

If your moral outrage about Turtleboy revolves around the things we say about people who rape children, you may want to reevaluate your priorities.

Nevertheless Drew cracked the case that TB Daily News is run by the same people as Turtleboy, because he did an IP search.

Well, yea, of course it’s owned by the same company. That’s why we created the site – it’s a clean version of Turtleboy. But no, they don’t trace back to the same IP address. My web developer made TB Daily News in Greenfield, and I made Turtleboy in Worcester. Also, we have multiple bloggers logging in front different IPs so it would appear as if you are a liar Drew. But it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, and I look forward to our respectful discussion at the venue of your choice.

Anyway, I woke up and found out I was kicked out of that group after the YouTube Live show, but I screenshotted some other comments in there before leaving. I’ll just leave them here.

“We called the Boston Globe, WBZ and other mainstream trash, and none of them wanted to write about it. So we’re mad that Turtleboy was the only one that did because Turtleboy is hate speech, even though we agree with him.”

That about sums it up.


This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s Light Night Garage Podcast is brought to you by the good folks over at Garage Doors Plus in Quincy. Support the Turtleboy sponsors by giving them a call for all your garage door needs, visit their website gdplus.com, or like them on Facebook to support the turtle.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




41 Comment(s)
  • Corinth Arkadin
    November 9, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    It’s like the Mirror Universe Bob Ross, where he’s fat and evil.

  • Vinnie Severe
    November 9, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Fat Drew has a nice chin
    I bet a few lawn jockeys have rested thier ball bag on it

  • Drew looks like a giant, upside down scotum.
    November 9, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Do you think Drew already tried to cultivate the “fun, beer drinking, fat guy” persona ? Then maybe tried the “fat, sensitive art/nature lover” thing , but that didn’t work either. Now he’s on the “fat, social activist” kick and even that isn’t getting him the human female interaction that he so desperately seeks. This is a big, fat empty bag of sad and loneliness that can’t figure out how to connect with a girl ( or boy ) on anything above a platonic, superficial level and is desperately trying to be viewed as anything other than comic relief or a human sofa.

    • ElJefe72
      November 9, 2019 at 12:45 pm

      I think this accurately describes the path that all SJWs take, particularly the males.

  • Show my cock to a feminist
    November 9, 2019 at 10:33 am

    That childish asshole with the fro is a giant, hypocritical piece of shit. They all are, but none bigger than him because he thinks he’s a good guy white knight. And that political crowd makes fun of everybody THEY don’t like based on gender or appearance all the time: orange skin, bad teeth, etc. But if it’s someone else they can use to virtue signal, they lose their minds.

  • Mr. Leahy
    November 9, 2019 at 9:52 am

    Every once in a while an obnoxious troll decides to take over the comments.

    This ghost cowboy POS is one of the most obnoxious I’ve seen so far, I guess in his or her mind this response means he is a success somehow….good work buddy!

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 9, 2019 at 9:30 am

    Check out the group of women pic – the only one missing there is Liz Warren

  • Silencio Dogood
    November 9, 2019 at 2:58 am

    Feeling questionable, is Sam’s Koch a micro phallus? in Emily’s pack photo, how many of those dogs have cats? Is Pubic Drew’s Starr of David? Too early to tell…

  • Chet Curtis
    November 8, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Wow! Seth Rogan looks like shit!

    • He dudga life
      November 8, 2019 at 7:37 pm

      The Ghost Cowboy says it softly but oh so throaty to ye. The he just glares at ye.

  • sisenorahh life
    November 8, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    The Ghost Cowboy says it. He watches ye looking at the screen. Ye see his shoulders heaving. He’s laughing out of control. Ye body temperature is uncomfortable. Ye screen looks off. He pardons himself for the recent fart. Winks at ye but again. Glances once more at ye screen. Back at ye. Shakes his head. Waves any remaining airborne spores your way. Sighs. Turns and goes.

  • falalalalaala life
    November 8, 2019 at 6:31 pm

    The Ghost Cowboys says it. He’s swaying. Ye thankin bout how bad ye voice is. VOICE guy. VOICE guy. He tips an imaginary hat at ye. Trademark double wink. He slips into the when.

  • Jingle life
    November 8, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    The Ghost Cowboy says it. He tucks a hiccup and hearty belch in it. Further raising ye suspicion of alcohol use. Ye go to say something. Ye screen lighting up ye face. The Ghost Cowboy hands ye a piece of paper. VOICE guy it says. Ye look at him. Ye caint tell if he is having a seizure or shimmying. He takes away ye doubts when he points at ye. shaking his head around wildly.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 8, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    Another bytchefight amongst wymminsts and cat dudes (wymminists in drag).

  • poevee poevee popo life
    November 8, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    The Ghost Cowboy says it. Ye caint tell if hay been drainking. But ye say him swangin his hips to and forth. He repaits it. Swangin his hips all crazy.

  • rahrahrahrah life
    November 8, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    The Ghost Cowboy says it. He gives ye a sideways frown. A piece of cigar wrap stuck to his beard. Ye swallow. He dabs his cigar in the air in ye direction. He motions to say something. He reconsiders. Looks at ye. Wipes away a tear. Ye shudder as he briskly departs.

  • hababababa
    November 8, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    baabaababa baabaababa. Why do birds da da ba da.

  • Russmo
    November 8, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Is the fat prick with the Afro Drew?

  • Bob Ross
    November 8, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    I’m back!

    No mistakes, just happy accidents!

    • ElJefe72
      November 8, 2019 at 10:05 pm

      And a lot of Happy Meals too, apparently.

  • Kat
    November 8, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    Drew looks like he swallowed Bob Ross. What a bloated and bitchy soy boy.

  • Jeff J
    What Say You Drew, Michaella, Nicole
    November 8, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    But……..We LOVE being so morally indignant WAAAAY up here on our high horse.

    November 8, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    There are 16 Beckys in that picture. Even though one has a tat, and one has rainbow colored hair, I still think that Hot Tow Truck Girl and our favorite former female state trooper would kick their asses, in a 2 on 16 match on pay per view.

  • The Great Gazoo
    November 8, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    If fat Bob Ross is against it so am I

  • randiguy2006
    November 8, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    ” You’d think that we could unite around the idea that we both believe that Diane Kelly’s business was a hot mess, ”

    As opposed to TBs solid business plan of being sued into oblivion?

    • Finn
      November 8, 2019 at 3:00 pm

      Off you fuck LOLz!
      Yes I am back to attack any negative TB commenters and avenge and protect TB’s good name because I am…….special (just ask my mom).

      Get Fucked,
      Finn aka. TB’s knight in shining armor

      • ahh really
        November 8, 2019 at 3:23 pm

        is that even stilla thing?

      • Russmo
        November 8, 2019 at 5:26 pm

        Finn I hear your mom gives a pretty good blow job when she takes her teeth out

  • Mimosasatoaster life
    November 8, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    The Ghost Cowboy says it. It’s a soft, yet harsh grumble. Ye hear it. Ye look up from the screen to see him grin at ye, then kick a leg up as he walks on……

    • Um, Mimosasatoaster life
      November 8, 2019 at 1:43 pm

      Get a life

      • Oye vey life
        November 8, 2019 at 2:05 pm

        The Ghost Cowboy says it. Ye can barely understand it. Still ye recoil and ye screen becomes ye date. He’s watching ye and he blows a smoke ring that circles ye screen. He chuckles. Coughing along the way. He strolls on out. Oye vey life. He wraps it around a rough cough as you resume.

  • ChipChipperson
    November 8, 2019 at 1:04 pm

    “yikes!” “Grrr!” They always talk like cartoons.

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    November 8, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    These are the only times I wish I had faceboob.

  • Doodledoodoodoo life
    November 8, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Ghost Cowboy says it. As he crouches down next to ye. Squinting as he appears to be deep in concentration. Peering at the screen. He swivels his head to look at ye. Ye get a lump in ye throat. He reeks of cheap cigars. He shakes his head. Bows his head. Again he says, Doodledoodoodoo life. He goes.

  • Gabe Kotter's Perm
    November 8, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    It’s been done, Drew.

    It didn’t get me laid, and it’s not going to work for you.

  • judge dread
    November 8, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    drew looks like a human punching bag.

  • Sam
    November 8, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    how is making a Facebook page dedicated to ripping one woman apart not in and of itself a HATE PAGE. but somehow tbs is a hate blog. makes no sense to me.

  • TB exposes racism
    November 8, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    If turtleboy sees obvious ridiculous racist behavior, they point it out and call assholes out. It’s just not their life’s work to cry.

  • C'mon Diane!
    November 8, 2019 at 12:01 pm

    Whack back some Liquid Courage and go on the air with Unc!

  • Massachusetts Liberals
    November 8, 2019 at 11:43 am

    I’ll never understand how none of these people ever have a single black friend, their group pictures ALWAYS look like clan rallies, but they call other people white supremacists and nazis

    • You already know
      November 8, 2019 at 11:59 pm

      They’re all NIMBY’s and “I demand everything apply to thee but not to me.”
      Disingenuous virtue signalers and raging hypocrites, the whole lot of them.

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