Smoothie-Pounding Lard-o Chris Christie Kicked Off Quiet Train For Being Chris Christie

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown BreweryUnion TavernScavone PlumbingMichael GaffneyBennie’s CafeCraftech RestorationJJM InsuranceSmokestack Urban BarbecueAttorney Michael ErlichH-S Trading FirearmsSmitty’s TavernJulio’s LiquorsHomeWarrantyReports.comThe Gun Parlor Range3B AutoPepe’s RestaurantFiresafe Chimney ServicesAttorney Anthony SalernoNorth End Motor Sales

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.


CNNChris Christie was asked to leave Amtrak’s quiet car Sunday morning after passengers complained to a conductor about the New Jersey governor yelling at his security detail and into his cell phone, according to a rider. He walked onto the train with a McDonald’s strawberry smoothie, already chewing out someone who was with him, possibly a security officer, about a mix-up in seating arrangements, according to Alexander Mann, a passenger on the same train who detailed the Christie incident to CNN in an email and in photos. 

“When the conductor came through to check tickets, he dispassionately said, ‘Sir, this is the quiet car.’

“Christie looked a bit exasperated, which I just took as a frustrating logistics day. Especially since — on a non-express train — the first car past first class wouldn’t be a quiet car. He said, ‘You’re kidding. This is the quiet car?’ He sighed and told the person on the phone he had to go, grabbed his smoothie and muttered to his security staffer as they walked to another car.”



Turtleboy really should like Chris Christie. I mean, in a way he stands for a lot of things Turtleboy stands for. He attacks the establishment, he doesn’t care who he offends, he says whatever the hell he wants to say, and he’s not afraid to shut down a bridge or two if you fuck with him.


But I just can’t stand this lard-o. I don’t get why he has to go after two of the most harmless things on earth – teachers and weed. Guy has made a living acting like an asshole to teachers and getting right wingers to blame all of society’s ills on teacher’s unions. And for some reason he’s got this hard on about weed. When he becomes President (in his own delusional mind) he said he’s gonna start cracking down on Washington, Colorado, and other states who aren’t stringently enforcing marijuana laws.

Newsflash Chris Christie – my health insurance costs so much money because your fat ass and people like you won’t put down the strawberry smoothies and get their ass down to Planet Fitness. You need so much Goddamn health care that you drive up the premiums for everyone. Because for some reason insurance plans cost the same for everyone regardless of how morbidly obese you are. That’s why this guy is a hypocrite. He’s a taker. He takes in food, he doesn’t contribute his fair share, and then he blames teachers and weed for all of our problems.

Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 11.34.52 AM

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages. 


9 Comment(s)
  • Fat remarks, REALLY?
    October 28, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Do you have any overweight loved ones? Overweight friends? People you admire? Why all the comments about the man’s size? Maybe he’s not obsessed with his weight, anymore than you are with your writing errors. You always seem to pick on the “less than perfect” crowd based on their looks. You sound like an asshole, TB.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    October 26, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    Who cares, non story.

  • Factman
    October 26, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    At least he is trying to legalize sports gambling

  • Solid
    October 26, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    This may be some of your best work

  • coffeemate
    October 26, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    There’s some food for thought.

  • Nanny
    October 26, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    Chris Christie is tremendously fat.

    • Fat remarks, REALLY?
      October 28, 2015 at 11:13 am

      And you are a tremendous asshole for insulting him based simply on his weight.

  • Brendan Rys
    October 26, 2015 at 11:51 am

    The “passenger’s” account was disputed by several other people on the train, they said he didn’t realize he was on the quiet car, when the conductor told him he was, he apologized and left.

    • Chris From Georgia
      October 26, 2015 at 1:50 pm

      Agreed, this is basically a non-story.

Comment on this Post


Washed Up NBA Players Make Terrible Life Decision Following Dennis Rodman to North Korea for Kim Jong Un Birthday Party
Liberal Stooge John Aravosis Calls Marcus Luttrell, Lone Survivor, A Jackass So We Changed His Wikipedia Page
Where Does New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Rank In Scandalous Political History?