Hoodrat Heroes

Sour Cream And Bunyan Is Blackmailing Me By Threatening To Expose Me Offering Her Cash For Pregnant Noodz If I Don’t Remove Blog About Her Cross Country Scamming Grift 

 

Here’s your Turtleboy fan mail of the day from a woman named Melanie McCloud, who I apparently blogged about last month.

The most fucked up part about my job is that 90% of the time when I get a message like this I have no idea what blog they were featured in. They all just kind of become one gigantic ratchet crockpot together. But the context clues helped out a little

  • I have a problem with pregnant women escaping domestic violence
  • She’s contacted attorneys in the “Wortchester” who will be “defending” her (as a plaintiff) in court, simply out spite because they don’t like me
  • Failure to remove the blog about her will result in her and I meeting in court for “lying against me”
  • I concocted the blog about her in my alien brain
  • She can make my life bad
  • I am messing with the wrong white girl
  • She sounds like she’s attempting to blackmail me by threatening to reveal messages I allegedly sent her soliciting noodz for cash if I do not remove the blog
  • I am in danger of facing federal charges for using her images from Facebook without her permission, which has caused her damages in the form of embarrassment

After searching for her name on Turtleboy I realized that I was dealing with a woman with the TB name Sour Cream and Bunyan. She was scamming groups all across the country, claiming to be pregnant and on the run from her allegedly abusive husband Rick Salad Toss, who she stayed loyal to during his incarceration.

 

 

 

So yea, I’m basically fucked guys. I had a really good, but I did not expect to run into this legal genius and her army of spiteful Wortchester attorneys licking their lips to take everything I own in federal court. I have met my match, and her name is Sour Cream and Bunyan.

 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

43 Comment(s)
  • Jessica Simpson
    January 3, 2021 at 4:21 am

    My name is Jessica Simpson. I’m a advocate for abused women. I’m working with melanie. who is pregnant homeless and every part of this story true. As she left her abuser due to broken ribs jaw several broken bones, hes shot her , stabbed her etc, as her advocate and counselor I suggested she post in different groups as to her hometown why?? Because he can see her posts meet up with her etc. In which was the case of why she posted outside her community. So while this man fights to publicly shame this poor innocent girl, give up her whereabouts, put her life in jeopardy I’m fighting to keep her safe in a underground type setting for abused women. We help them flee very dangerous situations. While her situation is very dangerous she was found twice once because of turtle bomber. So yes I am making sure she brings a lawsuit against turtleboy as he is putting her life at further risk, publicly shaming a innocent person, to where she cant get help because of his posts. Does anyone know how hard it is to leave a abuser for women. To go from everything to nothing. She came to us with nothing the clothes on her back. So if shes at fault for needing help. Shame on the community God bless everyone during this difficult time. I’m fighting for womens rights.

    • The Common Man
      January 3, 2021 at 9:45 am

      How large is your penis?

    • Tuukka Rask
      January 3, 2021 at 9:53 am

      lay down with silverbacks,wake up with a jaw like Chara

  • Todd Herman filling in
    December 17, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    Number of court cases she will bring against TB – 0
    Number of courts brave enough to hear Trumps voter fraud evidence – 0
    Number of court hearings for “Deflategate” – 2 ( that I could find, not counting league appeal)

  • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    December 16, 2020 at 2:30 am

    I’m amazed she could ever determine she’s pregnant. I mean, we certainly can’t, looking at those photos.

  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    December 15, 2020 at 11:57 am

    Threatening court action isn’t blackmail, moron.

    • Disgusted Turtle
      December 16, 2020 at 1:35 am

      Threatening him with false sexual harassment allegations if he doesn’t take down the blog is most definitely blackmail. MORON.

    • Jessica Simpson
      January 3, 2021 at 3:59 am

      It definitely isn’t blackmail etc. He runs these people’s lives with his post. I know this young lady. She was stabbed shot broken ribs jaw etc she is homeless and pregnant escaping domestic violence situation. He put her in jeopardy she had to move fr ok m state to state because turtle power posted her buisness. I for one cant wait til his scummy page is removed. Please sign the petition they have to remove him. He shames innocent people because hes judgemental

      • Jessica Simpson
        January 3, 2021 at 4:05 am

        It definitely i’s blackmail etc. He runs these people’s lives with his post. I know this young lady. She was stabbed shot broken ribs jaw etc she is homeless and pregnant escaping domestic violence situation. He put her in jeopardy she had to move fr ok m state to state because turtle power posted her buisness. I for one cant wait til his scummy page is removed. Please sign the petition they have to remove him. He shames innocent people because hes judgemental hes turtle scum everyone who hates this man sign the petition to have him removed banned taken down bye bye turtle scum

  • Ralphie
    December 15, 2020 at 10:53 am

    Melanie had a 95 lb mole remove from her ass!

    • Your momma
      January 3, 2021 at 3:54 am

      Oh and I heard you ralphie suffer from little dick syndrome. I heard your taking enhancements etc to try to make it grow. Its smaller than a cocktail weiner

  • Jungle Jim
    December 15, 2020 at 7:48 am

    She got the fever

  • Hunter Biden
    December 15, 2020 at 12:10 am

    Any link to the pregnant porn? Love that stuff.

    Thanks

  • RI Ri Rian!
    December 14, 2020 at 11:17 pm

    I may be crazy, but at least I am not as dumb as TB posting soft porn on his pages.
    When his web host services pulls his pages, he is going to cry about big business trying to silence him.
    He is like that cop that was teaching a gun training course and shot himself in the foot.
    Can’t make this up fox. Love it!

    • Jessica Simpson
      January 3, 2021 at 4:03 am

      It definitely is blackmail etc. He runs these people’s lives with his post. I know this young lady. She was stabbed shot broken ribs jaw etc she is homeless and pregnant escaping domestic violence situation. He put her in jeopardy she had to move fr ok m state to state because turtle power posted her buisness. I for one cant wait til his scummy page is removed. Please sign the petition they have to remove him. He shames innocent people because hes judgemental I cant wait til they take this scum bag down bye bye turtle shit turtle scum turtle dumb dumb

  • North of the Border
    December 14, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    Ah shit, man! She gonna sue your ass for liebelslander and be rolling in Cheetos and 4Loko for life!

  • Jack
    Mutation
    December 14, 2020 at 8:28 pm

    Do they clone this type, more and more on the planet daily.

  • No fat chicks
    December 14, 2020 at 7:40 pm

    They’re always fat! Why are the white trash scuz buckets always fat? They’re always crying poverty yet somehow they manage to eat $400 worth of food a week and still have money left over for tattoos, piercings, cigarettes, drugs and booze.

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    December 14, 2020 at 7:25 pm

    rumor has it, she drives a 4×4 cuz she would need a 4wd to haul that fat ass around . .

  • White Whale
    December 14, 2020 at 7:10 pm

    Just another day in Ratchet Paradise. Fat Disgusting White Chic the looks like a Whale, Internet Panhandling for money. Black boyfriend gets out of Prison after three years and doesn’t believe he knocked her up five months ago. Now she wants more free everything because he’s mad. Imagine she found 2 different Brothers to Fuck that Giant Whale body

    • Your momma
      January 3, 2021 at 3:48 am

      Imagine your momma made such a stupid person like yourself. I heard when you were born you were so ugly the dr slapped yo momma. So u got more white n blk jokes ya prejudice pos

  • Sinbad the sailor
    December 14, 2020 at 7:04 pm

    I’m taking you to fucking court! When I scrolled down that tongue pierced picture my dog saw that and just threw up in my lap. Christ! these pants are new. You got any idea what hour old digested alpo smells like. You Fuck!

  • Chris Tranos
    December 14, 2020 at 7:01 pm

    coalburner

  • Guinea Geisha
    December 14, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    If she did send nudes… they’d be panoramic.

    • Steve Steiner
      December 14, 2020 at 8:49 pm

      Scratch and sniff. Then smash your own face with a brick for doing it

  • Spic Tormentor
    December 14, 2020 at 5:33 pm

    My ex looked just like her, she was a welfare slob too and I was only fucking her for a free place to stay when I was going through tough times. I thought I had it made, but then I noticed she had a sour milk stench that used to waft from her crotch every time she took her pants off, it would literally fill the whole room and make me puke in my mouth. Then every time I went down on her I would get bumpy rashes all around my lips. I quickly realized it would just be a lot easier to get a job.

    • Truth Teller
      December 14, 2020 at 9:34 pm

      Said no nog ever.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    December 14, 2020 at 5:19 pm

    That lawsuits gonna go far, how the fuck is she gonna pay for an attorney unless he is doing Pro Bono? Im glad turtleboy is getting back to exposing Pig Bitches!!! Oink oink! I’ll sue you! Oink oink! I eat Ho Ho’s by the gross!

    • Perry Mason
      December 14, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      I’ve taken the case. I’ve got a thing for fat, disgusting, sweaty, hideous, skanky coalburners. She’s paying me off with a lifetime supply of those pregnant noodz.

  • Toblerone
    December 14, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    Running a gypsy business out of your basement isn’t a job its just you copying Alex jones.

  • Dick GoZinya
    December 14, 2020 at 4:21 pm

    Just turned off NECN after seeing a story about people going the GFM route because the federal government won’t take care of an Americans ” basic needs “. Guard your money people it’s just getting started.

  • D.B. Cooper
    December 14, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    Comment section has been gold lately.
    Injuns doing a war dance over some hood rat armed robbery gone wrong, , SJW/teachers kvetching and hissy fitting and the regulars doing what they do. Plus, at least 3 spic tormentors.
    BTW, fuck that fat mud shark skank.
    Stock up on ammo kids!

  • Herschel Weinstein
    December 14, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    How’d those court cases go last week?

  • She’s a pig
    December 14, 2020 at 3:48 pm

    If I was Black I wouldn’t let anybody fucking say that word around me at all
    White fucking fat piece of shit like this should not use that word at all I mean at all

  • Ellen DeGeneres's Trouser Bulge
    December 14, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    Her guy should buy a 10lbs ham,pull the bone out of it and start tapping it.
    Far less drama and probably smells and tastes better.

  • Monsterrod Von Hugenstein
    December 14, 2020 at 3:23 pm

    Jee-zus! I bet she could suck the soul out of a mummy with that cock-tickler!

  • Filthy Animals
    December 14, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    I would pay her not to send me Noodz.
    For the first time, I feel sorry for the black guy in this interspecies relationship that the media is trying to convince us is normal.

  • William Gross
    December 14, 2020 at 3:18 pm

    She has arms like Vince Wilfork.

  • Elegant Elliot Offen
    December 14, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    Does her toilet lid have a courage tattoo on it?

  • Frances Gumm
    December 14, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    She contacted lawyerS? Plural? Did she put together a new dream team? If she had just one lawyer who agreed to take the case, the first thing he/she would do is to tell her to STFU.

  • Wurstchester
    December 14, 2020 at 3:11 pm

    I don’t think she likes sausage

  • The ghost of Jalajhia Finklea
    December 14, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    To all you skags and chuds that become turtleboy stories: as long as you’re alive it’s not too late to change your ways. I wasted my entire life drinking underage, doing drugs, and having unprotected sex. I died as a trashy pregnant teen in Florida. Repent and change before it’s too late!!!

  • Gigantic Ratchet Crockpot
    December 14, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    There is so much wrong about that oral sex cartoon.Who ever created it
    needs to have their crawl space and hard drive searched A.S.A.P.

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