Spencer GoFundMe Stripper Who Claims Mark E. Solomone Got Her Cash By Jumping Into Plow Vows Internet Deformation Lawsuit, Goes At It With Turtle Riders
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
The other day we blogged about a Spencer stripper named Tiana Trance who is currently on unpaid medical leave from her stripping career after she threw herself in front of a plow and the lawsuit hasn’t come to fruition yet. She came to our attention when someone sent us her GoFundMe, and it opened up a rabbit’s hole of ratchetry on her Facebook page:
Well, she was none too pleased with the blog and has been messaging the Lost Boys all week. First she had a friend message us with the usual – “If someone kills themselves because of you’re blog you’re gonna be going to jail.” Stuff like that. I’d show you but she immediately deactivated her account after we told her that this was gonna make a great followup blog. Smart ratchet.
Tiana though is not so smart. She won’t stop. It started with the threats to call her lawyer:
They love to do this “you’re using my minor son” shit too. First of all Tiana, we cropped out your son. Secondly, if you’re gonna be a piece of gutter poo on the Internet, you probably shouldn’t have pictures of your son all over your Facebook page. Thirdly, it’s sad, very sad, that a human being has to refer to you as “Mom.”
She claimed she spoke with the police about it:
Wait…..what? You’re gonna send us one of your “clients” so we can suck their lady dick? Uhhhhh….OK.
Apparently she was referring to the transgendered folks she works wit at Project AIDS, which contrary to popular belief is NOT named after her:
I believe her yo!! If this face doesn’t scream “Narcan and AIDS”
Then I don’t know what does. (repeat joke, still true)
After that she went into a whole thing about her ex-boyfriend. I got bored reading it after the first sentence, which remarkably contained capital letters, punctuation, and periods.
Yea, no idea what any of that means. Sounds like it really changes things though. I guess now that she showed us this conversation she’s no longer a heroin addict stripper who occasionally gets plowed. But yea Tiana, I’m sure your lawyer told you the settlement money is coming in next week. Definitely. The only thing I understand after reading half of that is why you’re not longer interested in dudes, which would explain why you’re posting stuff like this on Facebook:
Yup, totally NOT a ratchet.
The only thing better than the messages was when she made her grand appearance in the comments section. First she started sending noodz
Because she doesn’t care if you think she’s a complete trainwreck, so long as you don’t call her fat.
Then she tagged her token African-American friend and proclaiming that she supports “black people matter”:
Black. People*. Matter. Can’t make this stuff up.
Then she started talking about the lawsuit for the plow (which she says she won), and the new lawsuit against Turtleboy for slandering:
Oh, and guess who were lawyer is…..
Mark E. Salomone!! The guy from the commercials!! He’s like Better Call Saul on steroids!!
As you can see Attorney Margaret Melican could not find her settlement in the court dockets. She had a good explanation for it though:
She did however have email correspondence that “proved” she was legit:
An email from “Paula Conner” asking to see her scarring. Case closed!
And if that wasn’t enough proof she also had this email:
An automated response from someone on vacation. Checkmate Margaret Melican!!
Finally “Damian” made his grand entrance, and he was just as terrible as you would imagine anyone who would be in a relationship with a skagbag like this would be:
Who would’ve ever thought that this power couple would one day end up in a ratchet lover’s quarrel on Turtleboy’s backup page?
Yea dude, no one’s gonna read all that. Except her boyfriend, who showed up to defend her honor:
I love it when our Facebook page turns into an episode of Jerry Springer. Sometimes you just have to tell your boss you’re gonna go take a half hour dump and consume it all in one sitting.
Anyway Tiana, you are hereby invited on the Turtleboy Live Show tonight to defend your honor. We have Brett Killoran on as a guest tonight and he’s known to be caring and compassionate. It’s a great chance for you to explain your side of the story. Hit us up for that Skype info.