Only in Springfield would you see a fender bender resulting in an all out brawl and someone getting beat with a bat.
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An amazing Turtlerider sent this to us a few hours ago and it’s gold. Seems like three cars, one of which isn’t seen, according to the recorder of the video, got into a fender bender because, well, we just had a blizzard yesterday. The roads aren’t in prime condition and yet cheesehogs like these seem to continue to drive like they are in the Fast and the Furious.
Anyways, the Turtlerider said that the first car was also yelling, but decided it wasn’t worth fussing over anymore, and left. Then the other two cars, which seem to be packed with people, start duking it out in the street.
It looks like most of the war beats aren’t wearing pants. Because most hood bunnies from Springfield think leggings are pants regardless of their ass looking like crumbled feta in them. I’m guessing they probably slurped their fupes in to some Lula No and felt feisty enough to start a street fight.
Let’s do a Fupasloth Fight play by play!
So this happened at 1441 Main Street in front of the TD bank. You can see the security guard trying to shimmy himself across the ice to stop the brawl. The trunk of the black car is already open. I’m guessing this is where the bat came from.
Hogs 1-4 start barrel-assing around Main Street bumping off the first car. The Red Hog is slamming the Beige Parka Hog against the car.
Meanwhile the DWP truck just skates on by like they didn’t have a dog in this fight. The hogs o’ cheese, one of whom (Bright Blue Hog) is obviously like nine months pregnant, are all fumbling around like maniacs and end up with the usual hair pulling and yanking one another back and forth. I can’t stand bitches fighting. The hair pulling and slapping make me ashamed of my gender.
Now you have Pale Blue Hog trying to yank her pal, Beige Parka Hog, off the two fupers from the black car. Beige Parka Hog seems to be the only one who owns a coat. Just thought that was worth mentioning.
That’s when Red Shirt Hog brings out the bat and starts trying to hammer Pale Blue Hog. Red Shirt Hog misses and manages to hit the seemingly pregnant Bright Blue Hog in the shoulder. Nothing says hood rat like beating your pregnant pal with a bat.
Bright Blue Hog starts chasing Pale Blue Hog back to the car.
Meanwhile, security dude is trying to stop the Red Shirt Hog from swinging the bat anymore. Kudos to security dude. This wasn’t even in the bank he was supposed to be guarding. It was in the public street. He went above the call of duty.
Bright Blue Momma Hog succeeds in backing the Pale Blue Hog in to the passenger side of the second vehicle. Pale Blue Hog and Beige Parka Hog get in the car and take off while Bright Blue Momma Hog continues screaming and directing them in to traffic. Red Shirt Hog, in one final act of defiance, spits on the car as they drive away. It was all she could do because security dude is stopping her from smashing the window with her Hog Bat.
This was pure gold and just what we needed to see on this dismal Friday.
If any of you know who these people are we would love to find out. I bet you their Facebook pages are straight fire. Message Desk Girl with the goods.
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