Hoodrat Heroes

Springfield Crotchnectar Gets Called Out For Selling Free Charity Turkey She Got For Family Because Her Oven Is “To Small,” Dumb White SJWs Ban Anyone Who Questions Her Story

Springfield Crotchnectar Gets Called Out For Selling Free Charity Turkey She Got For Family Because Her Oven Is “To Small,” Dumb White SJWs Ban Anyone Who Questions Her Story

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The holiday season is upon us and that can only mean one thing – let the scams begin!!! Here’s this week’s champion out of the great city of Springfield:

So this chick really, really wants $10 for her turkey that is allegedly too big for her to cook at home. Because apparently her ratchet den uses an easy bake oven.

Of course anyone with a brain looking at this can clearly see that there’s some sort of scam going on here. And you gotta be a special kind of crotchnectar to waste your time scamming people for $10 on Facebook.

But obviously someone wouldn’t go to Big Y and purchase a turkey knowing that they have a miniature oven at home that can’t cook this perfectly average sized bird.

What most likely happened is this chick is some sort of charity case that got a free turkey from some caring soul trying to make sure this single mother has food on the table at Thanksgiving. Naturally she then tried to make $10 off of it by coming up with an outrageous lie that no one with a brain would believe.

All you really have to do is just look at what we’re dealing with:

If you think for one second this chode cream is being honest then we’ve got so much to teach you about the world. Trust us, we hunt ratchets for a living. We know one when we see one. People who post stuff like this:

Always have a scam going. They simply cannot be trusted. That’s just science. Plus, check out what Cassi claims to do for work…….

“I’m a registered nurse.”

I swear, anyone who has ever worn their pajamas to work thinks they get to call themselves a registered nurse. Although usually it’s someone claiming to be a CNA. Saying you’re a RN is taking your ratchetry to a whole nother level.

A bunch of people started publicly questioning her story on the since deleted Western Mass yard sale Facebook post:

Others pointed out that they’d seen her selling sneakers from a shelter in Holyoke a week ago:

And her story didn’t exactly stand up to some simple questioning. Like…..why not just return it for a smaller bird or try to get your money back?

“My three year old ate my receipt.”


When others began to doubt her, the ratchet colors started shining through:

She told the haters they should kill themselves:


Then she started challenging people to meet up so she can “kick them in the throat u piece of judgemental good for nothin don’t kno shit waste of scum trash”:

Oh yea, this is the kind of person who is worthy of your charity. If you can’t trust a Springfield welfare possum with a mouth like a trucker then who can you trust?

Luckily she had what every ratchet trying to game the system needs in order to run a successful scam – stupid liberal white women from the burbs. These people always like to pretend that the biggest scumbags in our society are all somehow misunderstood individuals who have tried their best to live an honest life, but due to the system being “rigged,” they’re reduced to a life of poverty. And the only thing that can save them are upper middle class white women with Coexist bumper stickers:

“It’s small minded to judge people you don’t know.”

Wrong. It’s small minded NOT to judge people you don’t know. Anyone can look at a person and say, “we don’t know her whole story.” THAT is small minded. But it takes an introspective person with a yearning for the truth to analyze an individual based on evidence and draw a conclusion about them. We need more people who aren’t afraid to judge a book by it’s cover.

“Maybe her spouse died.”

Yea, and maybe you’re an idiot. See what they do? They can never just accept the fact that a ratchet is a ratchet is a ratchet. We can. They need to make up a backstory that fits their agenda. We let grundle discharge do what it does best. And as it turns out our intuition was right:

I have no idea who the latest baby daddy is that produced the vag nugget that came out of her last month, but I guarantee you he doesn’t have health insurance. Nor did he have any long term plans to get to know his child.

Not to be outdone was the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior, Lisa Hawkes:

Uhoh!!! Someone said something truthful that goes against your narrative and hurts your feelz!! Better get the admin in here so we can censor someone else’s speech. This is literally how millions of Americans now think thanks to generation snowflake. No one can have their feelings hurt, even if they’re guilty of all the things they’re being accused of. Ever. Feelings are just that important. Way more important than the free exchange of ideas on the world’s largest social media platform.

Funny thing though – Lisa never seemed to mind it when the crotchnectar went on the attack and called people mean names:

We see a lot of people fuck up your/you’re and there/their/they’re. But it takes a special kind of Salter School honors scholar to consistently fuck up to/too/two.

Nevertheless Lisa B. Hawkes was there to white knight for her as she spread obvious lies in the Facebook group:

Here’s another thing about judging a book by it’s cover – it’s accurate 99.9% of the time. Close your eyes and imagine what Lisa Hawkes looks like.

I think we can all agree that this is what all of us just envisioned:

It’s like every woman from Greenfield, Amherst, Northampton, and Williamstown ever. Never saw this one coming either:

Or this

Or this

Or this

Shocking that another progressive white woman who claims to care so much about black lives mattering has isolated herself as far away from black people as possible in Franklin County.

The thing about these people is they love to talk about civility. They whine about people on Facebook being mean and how Facebook doesn’t censor enough turtle riders for giving opinions they disagree with. Their biggest beef with Trump isn’t with his policies, it’s with the fact that he’s “uncivil.” But civility is a one way street with them, and in their delusional minds they’re only required to be nice to people who agree with everything they believe in:

But at Turtleboy Sports we simply do not give a shit about anyone’s feelings. This gives us the ability to call out obvious scammers and point out just how stupid SJWs look on a daily basis.

24 Comment(s)
  • JProphet
    November 25, 2017 at 10:58 am

    Buzz’s girlfriend……WOOF!

    November 21, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    classic mudshark behavior

  • msheadkracker
    November 21, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    I have a huge issue with her, she says she’s an RN, yet is “strugglin” and needs the $10 for a turkey that’s smaller??!?? How many RNs do you see begging for anything, let alone $10 for a turkey?!? She’s full of crap, she’s probably a CNA, like all these other fat trash bags that beg for shit, every single one of them are overweight, out of shape, and have the “disease”. I’m surprised she didn’t attach a gofundme to the post begging for presents for her kids for Christmas like all these other lazy fuck heads. I’m tired of it, work my ass off, hubby works his ass off, and we can’t even afford Christmas this year, yet half the country sits on their fat asses and gets loads of free food, wrapped expensive presents, electronics, mine will be lucky to get a few things each, since we have to budget what we have and split it 6 ways. These losers need to grow up, get jobs and be cut off the benefits and free shit, we can start with the ones with the fancy cars, designer bags, manicures, pedicures, multiple pairs of $200 Jordan’s, living in the $300 section 8 slum dump. Let them live in squalor and see what happens, why is the government afraid to say NO MORE! ? I get love one another, help your neighbor, but this is out of control. I’ve been watching walking dead and it doesn’t look like too bad of an idea, at least those of us that aren’t incompetent would be able to survive and figure it out, these numb nuts wouldn’t last 24 hours without that ebt card or their suboxone.

  • Bleh
    November 21, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    What she REALLY needs is a GoFundMe for a cutting board and knife, so she can then cut the bird up into smaller pieces for her ‘too small’ oven. She missed an opportunity there!

    Or, maybe learn how to move the racks around in the oven so things fit.

  • Jayvhonn Jackson
    November 21, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    That aint poor. Where so poor my mom takes us to KFC on Thanksgiving to lick other peoples fingers!

  • The New Deal
    November 21, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    This is not how it was supposed to happen

  • SVU
    November 21, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    Oh dear god..help

  • Thankstaking
    November 21, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    Of course a 14 lb turkey is not going to fit in your toaster oven! The store won’t take it back because they don’t know if you let it thaw or any other conditions you may have put it through that makes it illegal to sell…yet you think someone will buy it from you online? I don’t get how people are this stupid unless they are thinking with degraded brain cells from too many drugs…

  • Pat Ryan's Command of the English Language!
    November 21, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    “So you must not of bought it to begin with if your poor like you stated”

    WOW! Talking about how someone is poor! Poor with the English language, huh, Pat?

  • AngryTurtle
    November 21, 2017 at 11:25 am

    Annnnddd just another example of why I wish I could get off my food stamps and section 8 to go buy an island called Turtleland … oh wait… I work for a living and don’t have food stamps or section 8… I have a wife, kids, 2 decent cars that aren’t falling apart and a house… and me and the misses both still manage to work full time with multiple kids (and she did it before me!) … so what is the illiterate crap-tastic cookie-bag complaining about? The damned turkey says “Big Y” right on it! I think if you walk in there with a frozen turkey, receipt or no, Big Y card or no, and you go to the courtesy booth, “Hi, I’m sorry I’ve lost my receipt but I bought this turkey the other day and it won’t fit in my oven, can I please exchange it for a smaller one” – I don’t think they will be like, “Nah, no papers no new turkey.” … of course based on her language she’d walk in there in sweats and slippers and say “I bought dis turkey last week and it don’t fit in my oven, let me get another one?”

    Strike 1 – selling a turkey you would have clearly ‘paid’ more than 10$ for so you could get a 10$ one (and if you’re an RN BTW, you make more than enough to pay for a 10$ turkey ever with 3 kids … thats just FAX right there.)

    Strike 2 – threatening to do nasty things to peoples throats … every heard of ‘kill them with kindness’ … shit ’tis the season mutha fucka…

    Strike 3 – letting an SJW fight your battles for you … seriously? I would have been like “Hey thanks for the support but I got this.” *click click blocked*

  • Shittier homes and Gardens
    November 21, 2017 at 10:40 am

    She may not be able to afford a descent oven but where did she get the money for those fancy curtains?

    • Descent Oven?
      November 21, 2017 at 11:57 am

      A Descent Oven? Is that an oven that goes down?

  • Hanginpossum
    November 21, 2017 at 10:14 am

    The fact that she’s trying to sell a second hand turkey above retail cost tells you how far removed she is from ever having to price shop or budget. That turkey would cost less than $6 at stop and shop for anyone who puts any effort into shopping the deals. I’m sure that a good portion of readers could quote this weeks prices on various items at several stores. Not this lady though because the cost of food is the least of her concerns.

  • Rich
    November 21, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Not sure who turns my stomach more; Cassi or Lisa…..

  • Solutions
    November 21, 2017 at 8:59 am

    Would I be hurled a bunch of insults if I suggested she butchered the Turkey into more manageable pieces and cooked two meals out of it in her tiny oven?

    I guess sometimes in life God gives you a Turkey that’s just to big for your oven!

  • Consistency Please
    November 21, 2017 at 8:14 am

    Last week we were claiming selling a $10 stroller for $150 was capitalism. This week they’re a dirtbag for selling a free turkey.

  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2017 at 8:01 am

    Gun Sense Advocates? Oh please…

  • Independent Thinker
    November 21, 2017 at 6:27 am

    I thought it was bad enough when they were selling food stamps on facebook, but now they are selling food. Can’t get any lower than that.

    For those of you suffering from white guilt (you know who you are), how about taking your kids out of their private school, sending them into the hood so they can experience some real-life diversity, and then take a couple of kids out of the hood and let them take your kids’ places at the private school. Do that and I’ll at least have some respect for you.

  • Chris
    November 21, 2017 at 2:06 am

    Have Lisa Hawkes come out of her sheltered middle class white suburbia, maybe hang out in Brockton and do some holiday shopping at the Westgate Mall for a day. See how much she identifies with BLM afterwards. Keep living in your quiet white community, eating vegan, wearing burkenstocks and hemp jewellery. You’re fucking delusional, cracker.

  • Paul Casale
    November 21, 2017 at 1:27 am

    I’m convinced that none of these gutterslugs know the difference between too & to. Do they not teach this in 3rd grade anymore?

    • Avid Turtlerider
      November 21, 2017 at 5:15 am

      Nope, they’re too busy teaching them about the “School to Prison Pipeline”, how oppressed minority groups are, how awful America is, and how to victimize themselves

  • Wwy
    November 21, 2017 at 12:56 am

    The Jew card in jewmerica no way,kikes ruin countries hello.

    • lithium time, love!
      November 21, 2017 at 1:30 am

      you’re forgetting your lithium, hello

    • Ben Steinberg
      November 21, 2017 at 4:06 am

      Put on your yarmulke
      Here comes Hanukkah
      So much funukkah
      To celebrate Hanukkah
      Hanukkah is
      The Festival of Lights
      Instead of one day of presents
      We have eight crazy nights!
      When you feel like the only kid in town
      Without a Christmas tree

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